blacknwhite Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 i could really use some direction, as i've never played the dating game before and have no idea what i'm doing. had one multi-year, game-free, soul mate relationship that recently ended, now trying to make new friends and generally rebuild life. started hanging out with a group of people a few months back, had particularly a lot in common with one guy, and came on to him out of the blue one day. nothing much happened then, but a few days later he invites me into his bed, and we have sex. we've hung out a handful of times since then, but didn't really talk about that night, except for me saying that i wouldn't mind sleeping with him again, and him saying that he enjoys just hanging out with me. then he started avoiding my calls. i freaked out thinking that i'd been sending signals that i wanted more than friendship from him, that i'd ruined our friendship forever, and made it my business to stay far away from him until my emotions subsided. now i find out that he did have a sort-of girlfriend at the time, and that he's just broken up with her. i don't know if this means it's okay to try to hang out with him again, or if i should stay even further away and let him contact me. all dating questions aside, i miss our friendship, and don't want things to be any more awkward than they have to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Suiyobi Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 I say let him be the one to initiate contact with you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 I think so too! He had a gf when you guys had sex so I doubt if he wanted anything other than sex. Maybe guilt crept in and when you offered to have sex with him again he couldn't do it to his girl. I think you want more from this guy than friendship but if I were you I would move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blacknwhite Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 okay, so forget anything romantic, and forget sleeping with friends ever again. can i still hang out with him platonically, or is it destined to always be weird? i do feel an attachment to this guy in the sense that, there's just not that many people i can have intense conversations with about bikes and electronics and power tools. i enjoy collaborating with him on projects. cutting him out of my life completely would be a blow. ideally, i'd just like to clear the air with him and start over as if nothing had happened. is that even possible? Link to post Share on other sites
waleen Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 If you have always believed in and swallowed that old myth, "What you don't know can't hurt you", then you need this information more than most people, as ignorance of it could keep you sick, broke, unhappy and totally unfulfilled... Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Dont be proactive. Just be reactive Link to post Share on other sites
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