Lishy Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Wow Jake we saw this thread so differently! I am shocked you see it like that. I took it that she actually still loved him but knew they were not compatible! Wow it goes to show how men and women see things so different. Link to post Share on other sites
Jake Barnes Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Wow Jake we saw this thread so differently! I am shocked you see it like that. I took it that she actually still loved him but knew they were not compatible! Wow it goes to show how men and women see things so different.Well not being compatible is code for losing attraction Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Well not being compatible is code for losing attraction I disagree When you meet someone and you do not have much in common it does not matter in the beginning on both sides, it is only after you have been through the honeymoon period that you realise the long term implications. I do not think she hates him, I think he has realised they are going nowhere and is sad over it. She did the right thing ending it IMO, we should not be with the wrong person, it kills us emotionally Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Im not judging, but it seems that you broke up with him because he put on weight and was geting older Thats perfectly fine, but be honest with yourself about it did you read the original post in its entirety? i doubt it... Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky555 Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 I know how you feel. The ups and downs are the worst when you actually care. But trust me you will be far better off mentally and emotionally without this man. There has to be a balance. Hes not going to change and you know this. You know what u need to do and are putting it off. What if you miss the great guy that could make u happy just because your staying with this unstable relationship? The sooner its over the sooner you heal, the sooner you get the man of your dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 You did the right thing. You'll realize this as time goes on. Link to post Share on other sites
AAlike Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Hmmm...I know that this is post-mortem, and really it seemed like you made your decision prior to posting the thread in the first place...but, just to play devil's ad....either this is not really true: when we have a problem he makes an effort to change if he can or you haven't communicated your problems to him effectively. My question would have been if he stopped smoking pot, lost some weight and became more ambitious and reliable (which, actually all three might be accomplished just by him quitting pot lol), would that fix things in your opinion? that's the real issue...if you're truly "past" him then no list of pros and cons is gonna do anything - if you're not sure, then these cons do seem like things that can be rectified. If he would rather give up you than the bong and the junk food, then you have your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ruby Posted August 5, 2008 Author Share Posted August 5, 2008 I still love him and yes, if he gave up the pot and became more reliable he would be ideal for me. I would not even care about the weight so much if he just became easier to talk to and gaveup the pot, which causes the weight gain (munchies) and the moodiness and unreliability. I miss him but I know we will never work as he can make me miserable and I cannot rely upon him for anything Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 You cannot change a person, it seems like you would need to chamnge most things about him to be able to be happy. It may hurt but you need to let him go Link to post Share on other sites
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