If I was the OW....

[NoIDidn't]

I wouldn't tell a soul. Anywhere. Period.

 

While I don't respect or condone what an OW is doing, you have bigger cahones than you give yourselves credit for if you are posting about it here in this forum.

 

I couldn't handle the disapproval for doing something that I know or feel to be wrong (for those that don't feel what they are doing is wrong, this doesn't really apply to you).

 

I don't do well having my own medicine given back to me. Eating crow is an especially unpleasant meal.

 

For those that are attempting to end the A, kudos and good luck. You obviously have more strength than you know of. And you aren't afraid to ask for help even though you may be harshly criticized here for the kind of help you need here.

 

Although I do like the idea of having less laundry....

[wildsoul]

Well, I'm a newb at being an OW and didn't read the rule book about silent shame.

 

But then again, I'm here because I slipped into an affair because of his seductive manipulations and my needy denial. Trying to clean it up.

[Tomcat33]

Well, I'm a newb at being an OW and didn't read the rule book about silent shame.

 

 

 

Seriously!!

 

And this thread wreaks of the biggest "complisult" I have seen here in a while. But that's all I have to add on this topic for now...

[NoIDidn't]

Seriously!!

 

And this thread wreaks of the biggest "complisult" I have seen here in a while. But that's all I have to add on this topic for now...

 

How is what I wrote insulting?

 

If it is, I truly apologize. I was motivated by the fact that LS is a huge community and those that start out posting here aren't insulated from judgment by the fact that ONLY OPs can post in OW/OM. It takes a great amount of courage to post when you fear judgment from others over your actions.

 

I happen to enjoy "rapping" with *most* here.

 

Please tell me what is insulting about this thread. I don't see it, but it may well be there.

[Lyssa]

"complisult"

 

 

The words you come up with!

[Virgo1982]

I wouldn't tell a soul. Anywhere. Period.

 

While I don't respect or condone what an OW is doing, you have bigger cahones than you give yourselves credit for if you are posting about it here in this forum.

 

I couldn't handle the disapproval for doing something that I know or feel to be wrong (for those that don't feel what they are doing is wrong, this doesn't really apply to you).

 

I don't do well having my own medicine given back to me. Eating crow is an especially unpleasant meal.

 

For those that are attempting to end the A, kudos and good luck. You obviously have more strength than you know of. And you aren't afraid to ask for help even though you may be harshly criticized here for the kind of help you need here.

 

Although I do like the idea of having less laundry....

 

I told and I don't regret telling because the amount or dirtiness of the laundry is completely up to the person who has to clean it.

 

I lost some people who needed to get lost and formed a tighter bond with those I needed.

 

I do feel sorry for his W, but most of all his children. I can not imagine being raised in such a hateful environment and I told him as much. While the goal is to give your children what they need to build a family of their own, his son may never know what a healthy relationship is.

 

I have a chance neither of them have and I am so very grateful.

 

For anyone who can't look see the good qualities in me because of what I've done, no problem. I just know I put the colors with the whites and in the future I have to separate them.

[Ms. Red]

I wouldn't tell a soul. Anywhere. Period.

 

While I don't respect or condone what an OW is doing, you have bigger cahones than you give yourselves credit for if you are posting about it here in this forum.

 

I couldn't handle the disapproval for doing something that I know or feel to be wrong (for those that don't feel what they are doing is wrong, this doesn't really apply to you).

 

I don't do well having my own medicine given back to me. Eating crow is an especially unpleasant meal.

 

For those that are attempting to end the A, kudos and good luck. You obviously have more strength than you know of. And you aren't afraid to ask for help even though you may be harshly criticized here for the kind of help you need here.

 

Although I do like the idea of having less laundry....

 

It's people like you that resulted in me suffering alone & silent. I didn't tell anyone in RL what I had done. I found LS & at first thought I had a place for support. I lurk around forums before joining thank goodness! If I had posted right away without knowing the forum, I would have been sent deeper & lower than I all ready felt by people like you.

 

I feel sad when I see a noob post their heart out here thinking they will get much needed support & understanding only to be told they are the filth & grime of society.

 

I feel the urge to add a personal attack but I am going to refrain & not meet you at your level.

[Tomcat33]

Let me ask you something:

 

Who says OPs don't give themselves credit or better yet what makes you think OPs don't give themselves credit?

[NoIDidn't]

It's people like you that resulted in me suffering alone & silent. I didn't tell anyone in RL what I had done. I found LS & at first thought I had a place for support. I lurk around forums before joining thank goodness! If I had posted right away without knowing the forum, I would have been sent deeper & lower than I all ready felt by people like you.

 

I feel sad when I see a noob post their heart out here thinking they will get much needed support & understanding only to be told they are the filth & grime of society.

 

I feel the urge to add a personal attack but I am going to refrain & not meet you at your level.

 

Please tell me what I am missing here?

 

How have I insulted you?

 

I really was trying to show that you have more guts than some, particularly me.

[Lyssa]

I told and I don't regret telling because the amount or dirtiness of the laundry is completely up to the person who has to clean it.

 

I lost some people who needed to get lost and formed a tighter bond with those I needed.

 

I do feel sorry for his W, but most of all his children. I can not imagine being raised in such a hateful environment and I told him as much. While the goal is to give your children what they need to build a family of their own, his son may never know what a healthy relationship is.

 

I have a chance neither of them have and I am so very grateful.

 

For anyone who can't look see the good qualities in me because of what I've done, no problem. I just know I put the colors with the whites and in the future I have to separate them.

 

Good one, Virgo!

 

I told my friends... wait, some of them are no longer my friends cause of how judgemental they were and no, did not regret it at all! I have found my true friends and they couldn't be happier for me when FMM came with the D papers!!!

[NoIDidn't]

The less laundry part was about the fact that agree that it IS more fun not having to pick up behind the MM.

 

I really don't think most OW are horrible people, for engaging in an A or otherwise. I just know that I don't have it in me to face the criticisms that many have faced in this forum.

 

I guess I can't win for trying. I really wasn't trying to insult or start another one of *those* kinds of threads where we bicker. I made it a point not to use the usual trigger words (and I still won't) and it is still met with hostility.

 

Sorry for trying to find common ground. Really.

[Lyssa]

And yes, OW are strong women!

[Virgo1982]

Good one, Virgo!

 

I told my friends... wait, some of them are no longer my friends cause of how judgemental they were and no, did not regret it at all! I have found my true friends and they couldn't be happier for me when FMM came with the D papers!!!

 

Those who have been betrayed or fear being betrayed would have brought the tsunami to your parade.

 

I won't. If he left, I'm assuming he had his reasons. And if you were with him, you had yours. And you two must be equally as happy or happier than those who stuck with a cheating spouse.

[OWoman]

I do feel sorry for his W, but most of all his children. I can not imagine being raised in such a hateful environment and I told him as much. While the goal is to give your children what they need to build a family of their own, his son may never know what a healthy relationship is.

 

Virgs I can so relate to that, seeing the difference in MM's kids since they were liberated from the hostile and damaging environment that the M provided for them. Everyone is so much happier - and I really believe that even the BW has a shot at becoming happy now, if she faces up to her problems and stays the course for the therapy she so needs.

 

Even if I was given judgment or negative feedback from others IRL - which I haven't - then the impact on the kids alone would provide more than enough external validation!

[Lyssa]

Those who have been betrayed or fear being betrayed would have brought the tsunami to your parade.

 

I won't. If he left, I'm assuming he had his reasons. And if you were with him, you had yours. And you two must be equally as happy or happier than those who stuck with a cheating spouse.

 

Surprisingly, the singles were the judgmental ones! My married friends were supportive and they had my back. They still do.

 

It went about the right way. NC was placed and he came with the D papers. I don't think I would like it if we went on with it for longer period of time.

[Virgo1982]

Virgs I can so relate to that, seeing the difference in MM's kids since they were liberated from the hostile and damaging environment that the M provided for them. Everyone is so much happier - and I really believe that even the BW has a shot at becoming happy now, if she faces up to her problems and stays the course for the therapy she so needs.

 

Even if I was given judgment or negative feedback from others IRL - which I haven't - then the impact on the kids alone would provide more than enough external validation!

 

 

I understand completely. One of the guys-I believe it was Mr. Lucky-says he's able to spend more quality time with his children. I don't think he cheated, but he is divorced.

[Lyssa]

I really don't think most OW are horrible people' date=' for engaging in an A or otherwise. I just know that I don't have it in me to face the criticisms that many have faced in this forum.[/quote']

 

That is good to know and thanks for stating that. I don't think BS are horrible bunch either - I actually like two or three of BS here.

[Tomcat33]

I actually like two or three of BS here.

 

 

:lmao: Sorry that was funny.

 

Let's not over do it now "2 or 3"? Woah!! slow down there Lion Cubby!!! :lmao:

[Tomcat33]

It went about the right way. NC was placed and he came with the D papers. I don't think I would like it if we went on with it for longer period of time.

 

 

You know what that's just it, you HAVE to put your foot down and mean what you say and let the guy prove to you HE also means what he says if you keep giving in to your weakside and don't stand your ground you are inviting disrespect.

 

I did the exact same thing.

 

I said I won't be the OW move out and look me up when you are free he did just that two months later we were dating.

 

Then it was D and come and look for me no more, and again he did just that. And I stuck to my word, you have to earn that kind of respect. And no offense to those that are in it way over their heads WE ALL are at one point or another but it is never too late to pull the reigns back and say NO it stops here and there is no more waffling.

[Virgo1982]

:lmao: Sorry that was funny.

 

Let's not over do it now "2 or 3"? Woah!! slow down there Lion Cubby!!! :lmao:

 

Some make LS as entertaining as watching Judge Judy.

[OWoman]

Some make LS as entertaining as watching Judge Judy.

 

And others, like watching Jerry Springer?

[Lyssa]

:lmao: Sorry that was funny.

 

Let's not over do it now "2 or 3"? Woah!! slow down there Lion Cubby!!! :lmao:

 

Wait.. weren't there 2 BS here that turned OW??

[Lizzie60]

It's people like you that resulted in me suffering alone & silent. I didn't tell anyone in RL what I had done. I found LS & at first thought I had a place for support. I lurk around forums before joining thank goodness! If I had posted right away without knowing the forum, I would have been sent deeper & lower than I all ready felt by people like you.

 

I feel sad when I see a noob post their heart out here thinking they will get much needed support & understanding only to be told they are the filth & grime of society.

 

I feel the urge to add a personal attack but I am going to refrain & not meet you at your level.

 

..............

 

I'm glad I don't have to do HIS laundry.. I leave that to the W...

[Virgo1982]

And others, like watching Jerry Springer?

 

True, but I've never seen Jerry being a huge b*tch before. As for Judge Judy, 99% of the time... I suppose Jerry is a bit of an enabler though...

[OpenBook]

It's people like you that resulted in me suffering alone & silent. I didn't tell anyone in RL what I had done. I found LS & at first thought I had a place for support. I lurk around forums before joining thank goodness! If I had posted right away without knowing the forum, I would have been sent deeper & lower than I all ready felt by people like you.

 

I feel sad when I see a noob post their heart out here thinking they will get much needed support & understanding only to be told they are the filth & grime of society.

 

I feel the urge to add a personal attack but I am going to refrain & not meet you at your level.

 

Ms. Red, I couldn't have said it better myself. I feel sad too... that a BW would have so little positive influences IRL that she has such a strong need to come in here and trash complete strangers for sport in order to bolster her own self-image. It's pathetic, really.