girl is interested in me, what do you think?

[ERIC_H]

Okay so here's the position I am in. There is a girl that I am very good friends with, and have been for quite some time. She is EXTREMELY attractive, however we have only been friends. I just got out of a difficult break up with the girl i thought I was going to marry, and we were together for almost 2 and a half years. She was there for me and we would talk about it and everything. And over the last few months we have become very close.

 

We have hung out, a group of mutual friends were all going to california for the beach and to hang out for almost a week. And we both went and had a great time. It's safe to say I became more and more attracted to and interested in her. After that one day I went to her work to eat (she is a hostess) and I sat next to the front. When I left she told me everyone asked if I was her boyfriend because we kept looking at each other and smiling. She has hinted at her liking me and being interested. But a couple weeks ago she flat out and said it. She said she really liked me, and that I was the kind of guy she wanted to be with. She said she liked everything about me, and that she needed a guy like me in her life. Of course this caught my attention. However, here's the problem...

 

She has a boyfriend.

 

Now I'm not going to persue her, I'm not that kind of guy. If they broke up that would be another story. But what the heck guys? Why would she be flirting with me and hanging out with me and saying things like she trusts me wholeheartedly and can talk to me about everything. And then flat out say those things she did?

 

And another thing, now she barely talks to me. Like before it was expected that she would talk to me. Now I'm lucky to get a text saying hi. We talked yesterday for a while, but it was almost like she was not interested. Keep in mind this is a guy she isnt suppose to be with, he treats her bad, and theyve been together only 10 months. Like when I talk to her, shes got this weird attitude. Almost like theres something going on shes not mentioning.

 

I dont know. What do you guys think?

[rproctor]

Hey man, you gotta remember, what she does with you she will do to you. Honestly, do you ever think you will feel secure in this woman? Look deep down and think about this, because it could come to a point where she leaves him to be with you, and then you two hook up, and 6 months down the line you start wondering if she is doing to you, the exact thing she did to her ex... See what I mean? Its tricky.

 

If I were you, I wouldnt get involved with this girl. Chances are she is not talking to you as much because either A) she feels embarrassed and insecure about all of this because she told you and made herself vulnerable and it didnt work out like she though, seeing as she is still with her bf and not you. Or B) she is unsure of what she wants, she might feel bad for getting involved with you while she has a bf and does not want to betray him, or is unsure of what she is doing so she takes a step back.

 

You say he treats her bad, and isnt supposed to be with him, how do you know? Is it what she says to you, or do you witness it first hand? She could entagle with the story with the poor girl twist.

 

Im not you, and I dont know this girl, or the situation. The only things I know are what you wrote. But from what I read, the story doesnt sound to be something that you should get involved with... Its going to end badly for someone: You, her, or her bf.

[Spectre]

The question is, even if she dumps her bf, do you wanna be involved with a girl who flirts with other guys whilst with a guy?

[ERIC_H]

Yeah I had that cross my mind. She really is a good girl. Before she told me she liked me we would talk to each other about our relationships. And she kept telling me she didnt think he was for her, and that she didnt think she would want to be with him the rest of her life. So that has me thinking shes just trying to see if I'm interested I guess. I dont know.

 

Anymore help would be appreciated!

[Chinook]

If you read up on my last thread I posted, I had this happen to me (except I didn't feel the same, even though I'm single). The guy who was/is interested in me is married. I keep swinging in my thoughts about it. One moment I think he's a lying cheating git, the next I think that because of our closeness, he simply saw something in me that he didn't see in his partner. Neither of these scenarios are because he knows ME as a person. Both of them are about HIM. Both scenarios are a selfish directed desire to get his needs met: in short, he was/is in need of some attention somehow, he came to me looking for it. I knew it wasn't about me, so I quit being friendly with him. Plus he's married. Not going there.

[ERIC_H]

Yeah, I completely understand everything you guys have said.

 

I don't know, it's not like she's going to cheat on him. She has said she is scared to break up with him cause she doesnt want to hurt him. But it's like she's interested in me, and is wanting to see if I'm interested in her. Because she says she cant see herself with that other guy.

 

BLAH! I don't know. I mean she is a good girl. Which makes this kinda confusing. Cause she's not the cheating type.

[Chinook]

Yeah, I completely understand everything you guys have said.

 

I don't know, it's not like she's going to cheat on him. She has said she is scared to break up with him cause she doesnt want to hurt him. But it's like she's interested in me, and is wanting to see if I'm interested in her. Because she says she cant see herself with that other guy.

 

BLAH! I don't know. I mean she is a good girl. Which makes this kinda confusing. Cause she's not the cheating type.

Again, it comes down to HER. It's HER seeking attention. She is not going to cheat granted, but there is no guarantee she will leave him either. Some people just thrive on having others around them dangling on a string. They can't help it. I'm sorry, I think that's what's going on here.