Do I have a chance to win her back???

[td2play]

Hey Folks,

 

I'm trying this as a last resort. I've never been in a situation like this before and I could sure use some help. So here's the story...

 

I started dating this lady while I was married. She knew I was married and didn't have a problem with it at the time. My marriage was not working so I figured, why not give this a try. We spent about three months fooling around and sneaking around to tell the truth. When we finally decided that we wanted to see each other in public, I moved in with my sister and became officially seperated.

 

This is were the story really gets interesting. My sister and this lady are best friends and my sister is absolutely thrilled that her friend found someone or at least that's what she says. We continued to see each other and things were going well. We had a relationship like no other I've ever had. This lady was my best friend I felt like I could share anything with her. Not to mention that the love life was incredible. Any way not to get off topic. We continued to see each other all last summer and into this winter. I thought I had finally found my soulmate and she understood exactly how I felt. Little did I know she was upset that I had not made my seperation final by filing for divorce. Whenever I mentioned it she would say "I want you to do it in your own time when you are ready and I don't care what other people think or say."

 

Sorry this is getting so long but a year and a half is hard to fit on a single page. Back to the story:

 

Everything is great as of this winter. I had moved from my sisters into my own apartment thinking that this we give me and this lady more privacy and a chance to spend our evening together since the aparment was close to her house. This is when the troubles started. I guess I should digress a little and tell you about this women so you will know the whole story. She is 40 never been married and a single mom her daughter is 16. From what she tells me her daughter is the result of a long ago relationship that really meant nothing and she is ashamed that it wasn't a real great romance. Though after getting to know her family I get conflicting stories about how much this realtionship actually meant to her. Her mother tells the story of how she shut herself in her apartment for a week and wouldn't talk to anyone. When I asked her about it she says that people made up there own versions of the story because she felt it was private and didn't want to talk about it. I accepted this and tried not to make too much of it but the thought was always in the back of my mind. From what she told me she has never been in a commited relationship.

 

This is were the best I can tell things started going wrong. The closer I got to her the more things I found out that weren't exactly the truth or had different variations everytime the story was told. Which made me want reassurrance from her even more. To make things worse we are both professional people and we had a lot of trouble getting together. Her free time was spent with her daughters functions and if I wanted to see her that's were it had to be. This is when I really started feeling neglected and pouting about it to tell you the truth. Her daughter being the typical teen didn't want to spend time with her mother let alone her mothers seperated boyfriend. There always seem to be some tension or drama surrounding getting together although we were still professing our love for each other it was like fighting a losing battle. My sister her best friend was now in the mix because now her friend was spending any free time she had with me instead of her.

 

The thing that finally split us though was my fault. We were about to finally get some time together. I had booked a cruise for her Christmas present and she was thrilled! The only thing between us and the get away that we both said we wanted so bad was a formal engagement that was part of her work. Before we went to this black tie affair we had a conversation about trust and I tried to finally be honest with her about how I felt about the conflicting stories I had been hearing. She didn't know what to say other than she loved me and wanted to be with me but things were just so hectic. I tried to explain how neglected I felt but all she heard was that I didn't trust her. Anyway the night of the formal arrives and she had worked her ass off to put this thing on. I told her I would be the designated driver and she could drink and cut loose. Shortly after we arrived though she started being in her offical capacity and I started feeling neglected again. I decide to have a couple of drinks with my sister and brother in law who happened to be there too of course. One drink turned into ten and I made a complete ass of myself in front of her co-workers. I was having fun to start with of course but it soon turned ugly when she confronted me about why I was dancing with three other ladies at the party and why I was drinking when I told her I wasn't going to.

 

The more we agrued the more angry I became about the whole situation. I felt like I had made all the sacrifices and she had made none. My life was turned upside down and hers was the same. We argued up to the time that her boss told her to take care of the situation before it got out of hand. We then left the party and I was driving for some god awful reason. Probably because I insisted. Anyway she started in on me once we were in the car and I just couldn't take it anymore. All I kept hearing was that we were through and I just didn't think I could handle that. So I pulled out my pistol and put it to my head. She grabbed it away from me and told me to pull over. She thank God talked me into letting her drive. She then drove to her house and asked me to go home. Of course at this point I wasn't hearing her. All I wanted was for her to tell me everything was going to be ok. Through the whole thing I had never even put the pistol down it was just like a security blanket. She told me to leave and never come back. I told her if I left I was going to kill myself. She didn't answer and I put the gun to my head outside and pulled the trigger. Luckily in my drunken stuppor I had forgotten to take the safety off. When I finally figured out why the gun wouldn't shoot it discharged into the ground. By this time my sister had arrived and told me to go home or to my friends house and just leave. Well I went to my house fell asleep on the couch and woke up two hours later a 4am frantic because I just had flashes off what went on. I jumped in the car and hurried to her house. When I got there no one was home and then I started to think what if something had happened to her. What if she had done something to herself. After my sister left. Little did I know my sister had taken her home with her. In my panic I broke into her house only to find no one home.

 

I finally found out at 8 am the next day were she had gone. I hurried over there of course to find that she didn't want to see me. I told her I had broke a window in her house and I needed a key to her place to fix the window. She gave it to me and asked me to give her some time to think things through before she saw me again. I of course didn't want to, all I wanted to do was make things right. I didn't realize at the time that I couldn't un-due the damage that was done.

 

We exchanged a few e-mail that I initiated the next week and that ended up getting ugly. When I couldn't understand why she wouldn't give me another chance. She finally saw me two weeks later to tell me what I already knew. It was over. I professed my love for her and let her know that I was getting help with my issues. It didn't matter at that point she had made her decision.

 

To wind this thing up. I spent a lot of time on the counsellers couch the last six months or so and I am starting to feel pretty good about myself again. I am now officially divorce which was part of my problem that I wasn't dealing with. I have no illusion that I what I did was wrong and that I needed to resolve my own issues before I could even begin to have a health relationship. I have dated a couple of people but nothing special. I have communicated a couple of times with this lady through e-mail and saw her once while at a function and she tells me there is nothing there anymore. Which I can understand though I find it hard to accept because she said she would love me through anything, forever. I guess I figured out how long forever was one year and a half.

 

Now that you know the whole sorted affair do any of you see any hope that me and this lady could ever get back together. No matter how hard I try I just can't shake the feelings I have for her. Maybe I'm seeing things through the rose colored glasses again but I really think what we had was genuine. I would love to try again with all of the things that I've learned about myself through counselling I know that I'm a better person for whatever comes next in my life.

 

Respectfully submitted,

TD

[missingher]

Dude, your story is filled with too many details. Try to shorten it up and bring out the main points. Maybe half as long. Then you might get some replies.

good luck