I am the 'other' guy

[tn]

My two best friends are dating each other. We have all known each other for about 3 or 4 years.

 

I developed a huge crush on her about a year ago and a few months ago i fell deeply in love with her. We were a little drunk one night and we kissed, it was so good. And I told her how I felt, and she told me she liked me too and knew she wasn't supposed to, and actually had a crush on me before she even dated her boyfriend.

 

We slept together last week, we just couldn't resist each other. We both felt real bad and sorry afterwards and we talked about it on MSN teh next day. We've spent a lot of time together trying to sort it out between ourselves and deal with our feelings.

 

She really loves him and I didn't want anything to come between them because he's like my best friend and he is really good to her.

 

Last night we almost did it again, but we stopped ourselves knowing how much hurt it would cause.

 

But it was too late, he already found the logs on MSN (which she thought she deleted) and even thought we never said anything directly he kind of figured it out. He asked her today and she couldn't lie to him.

 

So she's moved back home and they're on a break, and well I think all our relationships with each other are pretty screwed up now. I haven't spoken to him yet, and she says I probably shouldn't cos he's really mad.

 

I didn't want it to turn out like this.

 

I really love her and I really respect him, and it just happened, and now I don't know what to do.

 

The worst thing is that she is like the girl of my dreams, I am head over heels for her. if a day goes by and I don't see her I am devastated. She says I'll get over it, but I don't think I will ever stop loving her. She's just too great.

 

I think what else is important is that she has been a better friend to me than anyone my whole life. She is my best friend as well as the girl I love. She's not just my mate's girl to me... she is someone very special in my life.

 

I see us together in the future.... I could spend my whole life with her. We had a pretty strong relationship considered we hung out almost every day for years.

I never believed ANYTHING would happen. It just did, there was just so much passion between us at the moment, everything else just didn't matter.

 

It mattered the next day though :/

 

But I hate what i've done to him, and her happiness with him.

[Tony T]

The girl of your life won't be dating your best friend. The girl of your life won't betray her boyfriend to screw you a time or two. The girl of your life will have better ethics and morals than you. The girl of your life won't leave evidence of her misdeeds in the cache of a computer for her boyfriend to discover. The girl of your life won't help you screw over your best friend. The girl of your life will be totally available to you and will be completely free to love you exclusively.

 

The girl in question has lost all respect for you because she knows you will betray your best friend to get into her pants. You also aided her in a serious betrayal of the man she loves.

 

So now she knows you are not a good friend if you are willing to do this to your best friend and she's not likely to want anything to do with you ever. You have helped put a real screwing to her life...you're at least 50 percent responsible.

 

Back off and take a non-credit course in ethics following by a course on how actions have consequences. Once complete, go to a new age center and take a class on karma. The law of karma dictates that one day the love of your life will screw one of your friends and really hurt you badly. You have great things to look forward to.

 

Most people would be really feeling badly right now and certainly not looking forward to a continued relationship with their best (or former best) friend's girlfriend.

 

EEEEWWWWwwwwwwwwww!!!

[bryanp]

I think Tony summed it up pretty well. I just have to add that the comment you stated " I really respect him and it just happened" is total bull****. If you really respect your good friend you don't delierately sleep with his girlfriend and try to do it again. My friend things do not just happen. You made a deliberate choice to betray your friend and try and succeeded to sleep with her for your own selfish desires. Actually the both of you probably make a good couple. You are both willing to cheat and deceive her ex-boyfriend who treated her very well and treated you with respect as a friend. You both have a broken moral compass. It is all Karma and you and her are both getting what you deserve. A man's character is judged by his actions.

[Hyperion]

Whew! I have to give loud kudos to both Tony and Bryan for telling the young man who screwed the girlfriend of his best friend that (1) he's unethical and (2) payback is awaiting him.

 

May I add a couple of cents worth? As a woman who values fidelity in a romantic relationship, I think the young woman involved deserves as much censure (if not more!) as this young man. Both Tony and Bryan made this point in their posts, as well. I detest women who act in such a poor manner because they make it more difficult for those women who DO BELIEVE in fidelity to earn the trust, respect, and love of men who've been treated so badly (referring to the betrayed boyfriend).

 

Here's the question I pose to the original poster: Even if you manage to win the so-called love of this girl who betrayed her boyfriend, who is also your former best friend, how in Hades will you ever trust her not to betray you?

 

You, my dear, are the type of man I avoid because you're not worth the time it takes to build a strong, trusting relationship.

 

Karma? It's already gotcha.