Author pr-girl Posted August 1, 2008 Author Share Posted August 1, 2008 I still maintain that if you and he had been right for each other, it would've worked out. I don't get why he would try to keep the porch warm if he wasn't interested in making time for you. If I were single and interested, Vegas is only an hour away (by jet). It would be a no-brainer. Enjoy the now and not worry about the future I guess this doesn't help the getting over process, but, for me, understanding the why's always helps me let go. The hard part is seeing reality clearly.... You're right. That was my argument with his reasoning, but I wasn't going to CONVINCE someone to be with me. He either wanted to or didn't. His exact words were, "I just miss you and want you and it makes my misery all the more miserable. I'm the unhappiest person that ever lived." Link to post Share on other sites
SundaeMorning Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 My ex was on my MySpace again last night. That's 2 days in a row. Hmmm... Just curious, do you mean he viewed your page (how can u tell?) or actually said something to you using MySpace? Link to post Share on other sites
Megolicious Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 You have a lot of really enlightening things to say. I always focused on the happy times while we were in a relationship. He focused on the miserable ones. That is why we failed. He was miserable without me there and he couldn't see past his big black hole. I won't contact him again unless he contacts me. My ex did the same exact thing. All he would think about was his selfish self. He wanted me to be in his arms 24/7 so that he could touch me and smell me all the time. He couldn't handle only seeing me once a week even though we always had an amazing time together when we were with each other. We both don't need guys who only think about their selves. I've been thinking a lot this past week. I now believe that if a guy really loves us and cares about us as much as they say they do then they don't have to have constant physical contact. They should be able to handle the distance and cherish the times that they do have with us, and not dwell on what they want. A relationship isn't one sided. It is two sided. They should look at our feelings too not just theirs. I'm glad to hear that you're not going to contact him. It will make things so much easier for you. You're very strong. We can both do this together! =D Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 His exact words were, "I just miss you and want you and it makes my misery all the more miserable. I'm the unhappiest person that ever lived." Jeez, and I thought I was whiny Does that really work? Link to post Share on other sites
Megolicious Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Lol I don't think it really works. It might make us feel bad for a bit or make us angry. Really it all depends on the situation I think its annoying! Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 The thoughts, they creep in like a bunch of spiders in your head. Sometimes I have to catch myself and tell myself that I've had enough and try to will my mind elsewhere. It's not easy. This was me in my last relationship. http://www.enotalone.com/article/2499.html Obsession. It feels like you're really alive because of the adrenaline, dopamine etc coarsing through your system from the emotional roller coaster and the anxiety. Sometimes it's not love at all, rather it's an addiction. Like a junkie, all of the sudden the world goes on hold until you can get your next fix. I'm back in control of my life now. I feel like I've been through rehab. I see my friends and family again and have picked up old hobbies that were left behind. I am me again, and not the person I was when I was with the ex. The next person gets to meet the real me and not the obsessed version. I won't let myself spin out of control like before. Dunno if that's encouraging to hear or not. Just sharing my train of thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Megolicious Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Obsession. It feels like you're really alive because of the adrenaline, dopamine etc coarsing through your system from the emotional roller coaster and the anxiety. Sometimes it's not love at all, rather it's an addiction. Like a junkie, all of the sudden the world goes on hold until you can get your next fix. I I think you are totally right. A lot of us believe that we love the person we're with, but it could also could be a source of obsession. Once you find someone amazing you never want them to go and then you become addicted to what you have and when you lose that person you feel like you lost everything because you put your whole life towards them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pr-girl Posted August 4, 2008 Author Share Posted August 4, 2008 Just curious, do you mean he viewed your page (how can u tell?) or actually said something to you using MySpace? I have a tracker. Shhh... It tracks the ip addresses that look at my profile. I initially downloaded it because there was a crazy guy who was watching me, but I kept it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pr-girl Posted August 4, 2008 Author Share Posted August 4, 2008 Lol I don't think it really works. It might make us feel bad for a bit or make us angry. Really it all depends on the situation I think its annoying! You're right! I felt really bad at first, but then thought it was just a cop out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pr-girl Posted August 4, 2008 Author Share Posted August 4, 2008 I think you are totally right. A lot of us believe that we love the person we're with, but it could also could be a source of obsession. Once you find someone amazing you never want them to go and then you become addicted to what you have and when you lose that person you feel like you lost everything because you put your whole life towards them. Motive and Meg: I think that after dating for so many years and never finding the right guy and thinking my ex was the right guy, I was willing to invest my heart. Maybe the obsession lies in the "not knowing" what could've happened, not of the person themself. I never felt as though I was obsessed with HIM, but maybe the IDEA of him. Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I was.. hook, line, sinker, the rod an reel, the fisherman, the damn boat! You name it. I found the "one" and clung on for dear life, which is stupid because I should know better. Link to post Share on other sites
Terminator Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 That's exactly it for me. My longer ones slowly ebbed out and so when they ended, it was a long time coming and I was ready for them to end. Well, who knows if your paths will cross again, only time will tell. You may find someone else near you, and so may he. I'd stick to NC for you to heal, and then if you end up in LA one day, see how things are. That's exactly it - that really hit a chord with me. The shorter ones are usually ended not because of anything wrong with the two of you in the R per se, but often external reasons (like LDR too hard). Link to post Share on other sites
Author pr-girl Posted August 5, 2008 Author Share Posted August 5, 2008 That's exactly it - that really hit a chord with me. The shorter ones are usually ended not because of anything wrong with the two of you in the R per se, but often external reasons (like LDR too hard). I wish there was more that could have been done to save it, but I did all I could do. It was his turn. He chose to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts