Another *fancy my friend* thread

[utopia11]

Hello and sorry for the thread subject it appears here a lot I have discovered. Although mine is slightly different as I have actually told her and explained it all.

 

So the story goes, myself (male) and my friend (female) have grew up together through high-school and college so we have known each other for 10 years near enough, although not really been close up until the last 3 years.

 

It all started on her birthday where she expressed herself to me and a group of friends as me being her "favourite", at the time I just disregarded it as a drunken ramble then later on that evening she sent me a revealing picture of herself to my phone. I went over all joking and she was laughing etc and again I just passed it off as drunken fun.

 

Her birthday passed and it all went back to normal but she was ringing me loads and texting me all the time. I was starting to fall for the girl, my friend. Although without realising it I got pretty protective over her which I had never done before - especially on nights out with lads out and about. This had never been an issue before as we were just mates and I didn’t really mind who she was flirting with / talking to. Anyway after she visited me at Uni and went back home, I was in a bar slightly drunk and I told her, possibly mistake #1 but she seemed interested to know what I meant and all the In's and Out's of the whole thing. She kept ringing me etc and all was going ok, she seemed interested.

 

She came up to Uni again and out of the blue on the dance floor she passionately kissed me and this went on for some time all throughout the night We once again were pretty drunk keeping up the Uni student tradition, we went back to mine and things happened but very little really as she was a little worse for wear (so we didn’t have sex).

So ... I'm completely head over heels for the girl at this point and then that is basically the end of it. Summer comes along and she randomly meets this guy and starts seeing him, when I found out I basically rang her and told her exactly how I felt, like no holding back #mistake 2? Anyway she keeps seeing this guy and sorta stops seeing me. I felt pretty crap about the whole situation as I had lost a friend, a very close one.

 

To cut a long story slightly shorter she starts talking to me again quite frequently and she has sorta completely forgot? disregarded? What I had said, this guy is now outta the scene and she is single again. When she is at home she always wants to do stuff with me like head to the beach, come on a night out with me, ring me, and speaks to me on msn all the time, go out for food. On nights out she sometimes stays at mine and out of all the free beds in the house she always wants to sleep in mine with me. It’s a little strange for "just a friend". She is having communication with me every day and for long periods ... I don’t even do that with my most close of guy mates I've known for my whole life. I can't read the girl basically, spending all this time with her is making me like her a lot more and I’m sorta scared to make any move based upon previous occurrences.

 

Her previous BF's are nothing like me, she is a really good looking girl and I wouldn’t really peg myself at the same level. My entire guy mates are all "go for it" I’m hesitant as I get on with her sooooo well and don’t want to lose her.

So I am stumped as to what to do and stumped at reading the girl and her feelings.

Some opinions would be great, thanks for reading guys

 

(p.s. Im not a drunk, honest ... reading it back i sound like an alcoholic )

(p.s.s sorry for the essay )

[CommitmentPhobe]

Erm... this girl has virtually offered herself on a plate to you. I'm confused... why are you making this complicated instead of just asking her out and sleeping with her then telling her she's your girlfriend....? What's with the confessions via phone?

[utopia11]

If it was any other girl i'd have done so. But seeing as its my friend I don't know what to do, is she being flirty or just chummy? She knows I like her as I told her so a while back but she likes other guys as well and tends to talk about them as well.

 

What do you mean the confessions via phone? I told her exactly how I felt one night on the phone and she sorta shrugged it off, so I had no idea what to think.

 

The bottom line is ... Do I risk asking her out again, telling her I really like her but risking losing her as a friend ... or keep quiet and keep the close friend that I get along with so well.

[CommitmentPhobe]

How "head over heels" are you? If you really are "head over heels" your friendship with this girl isn't even a consideration is it?

[Daisyloo]

I think you have to tell her how you feel. This is going to eat away at you until you know how she feels and eventually your friendship will be affected either way. She obviously does have some feelings for you cos she kissed you before and wants to share your bed so there must be some sort of physical attraction as well as the closeness of friends.

 

Be honest, talk to her openly (in person, in daytime over a coffee so she knows you're serious) and a good friend will appreciate your truthfulness and talk things through with you.

 

Hope it all works out as you want honey Xxx

[CommitmentPhobe]

I think you have to tell her how you feel. This is going to eat away at you until you know how she feels and eventually your friendship will be affected either way. She obviously does have some feelings for you cos she kissed you before and wants to share your bed so there must be some sort of physical attraction as well as the closeness of friends.

 

Be honest, talk to her openly (in person, in daytime over a coffee so she knows you're serious) and a good friend will appreciate your truthfulness and talk things through with you.

 

Hope it all works out as you want honey Xxx

 

Personally I think this is a really bad idea and a sure way to scare her off, she doesn't sound like the type that would respond to this.

 

I think this guy needs to get over his heaviness and sleep with her when she comes over next and SLEEPS IN HIS BED. What else does this woman have to do??

[waleen]

A couple of months down the line, 'my relationship' has not progressed in any way and my friend is still very hurt by my decision. I understand what you are saying about 'lust' because that initial spark and chemistry although short-lived is what attracts us to people in the first place and hopefully when that wears off it is replaced by love. :bunny:

[monkey00]

Don't tell her how you feel, just make a move. Ask her out on a formal date, a real date..not just hanging out. And go in for a move.

 

I used to be in your exact shoes, but was too young to realize it...so nothing ever came out of it and she wound up with some other guy. that's why I say if you don't go for it now, the friendship won't really matter if she does find another guy.

[4givrnt4gtr]

As a girl, im going to totally agree with the "Make the move approach". At this point the whole platonic friendship is out the window...so either you're with this girl, or get ready to make new friends....

Sounds like she is into you...so make the move friend, dont waste time....

[utopia11]

Thanks for all the replies guys. OK, i'll ask her out and we'll see what happens, dutch courage it is Not entirely comfortable mind, but if I dont do this now it'll eat away at me.