Am I fooling Myself?

[PAL06]

I recently broke up with a girl who, although we had only been going out with for five months, I thought could be 'the one'. It had been a whirl wind romance and she had on many occassion expressed her love for me (something she assured me she does not do lightly and she is 35 not 16!). It took me some time to express the same feelings for her, probably because I have been hurt too much in the past and was being cautious. We discussed a lot about the future, even as far as moving in together. The last two months of the relationship I had been staying at hers in any case, even though it meant commuting an hour each way to work.

 

I felt it was always her that initiated the talk of the future, but I was also just as keen as her to discuss it. Although she is the most confident person I know, she definetely had security issues when it came to relationships and she seemed to want to do everything with me. I enjoyed her company so much I went along with this, in hindsight I feel we probably lived in each pockets too much and apart from when we were at work we were together.

 

Anyway, out of the blue she decided that she wanted to end it, she has been unable to explain why she felt she had to do it. I am struggling with not having a reason and yesterday, due to stress at work I made the mistake of texting/emailing her too much to try to get answers. Obviously, she lost it with me and her tone of reply totally changed (we had been emailiing each other before, just chit chat and she always signed off with love and xx).

 

I know now I was stupid and need to just leave her now and sort myself out - including the stress at work - I really do love and miss her, but I know I will only push her away further if I contact her at the moment.

 

Am I fooling myself that one day she may realise that she has made a mistake and we will be back together again? We are going to have to make contact at some point as we need to sort out issues over a holiday we had booked and paid for.