My wife cheated and got pregnant

[bish]

Yesterday I was on my way to my second job and I got a phone call from my wife, she said not to delay coming home because we needed to talk. I knew that this wasn't a great thing. Anyways basically I was kind of a selfish husband in the beginning (we have been married less than a year) and I didn't help out a whole lot around the house

 

You have 2 jobs and you are suppose to help around the house too? I don't call that being selfish, I call that not having enough time and doing what you can to support a family.

 

 

 

....my wife finally broke down and told me I needed to change

 

Ya, "you better change, or else I'll screw another man!" Well, maybe not what she said, but what she was thinking anyway.

 

 

 

and so I started to change doing a lot of things around the house and well basically all of the chores

 

I'm sorry, you having 2 jobs and doing ALL the things around the house?

 

I'd say the selfish one here is your wife.

 

 

... my wife has been feeling really down and depressed (just the way she is and also because she recently lost her job that she had for 5 years) and wanted to have some friends so she had been hanging out a couple guys (one of whom she had dated and had sex with before)

 

Totally inappropriate for her to hang out with a guy, much less a guy she had inside her before.

 

 

and then a few girls. I told her this was a bad idea and that I didn't really feel comfortable with her hanging out with her ex...she reassured me that she would never cheat on me and that she just wanted friends...needless to say my wife can't go anywhere without drinking and these "friends" all drink a lot too....anyways back to last night I get home and sit down on the couch next to my wife and she tells me that she cheated on me one time with this guy and she is now pregnant.

 

So now the question is, when are you going to divorce her?

 

 

She says there is a slim chance that it could still be mine since we did have sex during that same time...unfortunately I know deep down it's the other guys....We both know that she's not going to have an abortion

 

No, but you can abort HER.

 

 

because we don't really believe in that and she could never live with herself if she killed a kid like that....needless to say I am in utter shock, embarrasment, hurt, sad, and just about anything else that you could imagine....I don't know how she could lay down with another man like that and without a condom even....and I know she probably kissed him/made out, hugged him, and god knows what else....I can hardly even look at her right now and I know it will be a very long time before I can kiss or do anything with her of the sexual nature

 

 

So I take it you are going to cowtow to her and stay with her? What if the baby is indeed his? You still going to stay with her?

 

She has played you for a fool and absurdly gaslighted you into, in addition to your 2 jobs, doing everything around the house.

 

And what does she get to do? Go out party, and spread her legs for another guy.

 

Nice, real nice. I'm sorry my man. I feel for you, but you need to grow a set of balls, stand up, brush yourself off, and let her know you aren't going to take this lying down.

 

 

On top of that I'm afraid that this kid will look nothing like me and so then everyone will find out it's not mine

 

so you are thinking of staying with her regardless?

 

I want you to please consider the option of divorce. She doesn't deserve a guy like you and you don't deserve someone that basically blackmails you into doing EVERYTHING while she goes out and parties.

 

I hope you grow a pair and decide to leave her. If the baby is yours, then it might, and I mean might, be a different story.

 

But if it is not yours, I don't see how you can stay with this tramp.

[bish]

yeah she has brought up counseling already....I agreed to go but also suggested that she takes counseling for herslef as well.....

 

and part of the reason that I am staying with her is the fact that there's a 50/50 shot at it being mine...and I told her that there will be need for a paternity test asap

 

Get a pre-natal paternity test so you don't have to be there with her during labor if it is indeed not your baby.

[sweet&simple]

The ONLY reason I would have said try and make it work is for the kids.. but for real, she lost the kid and as much as I hate to say it, what a blessing.

 

So, you've only been married a year, she cheated, put your health at risk by having unprotected sex, still goes out drinking/hanging out with guy who knocked her up, is smoking weed and selling drugs, and now cuddling with some other guy?

 

Yeah. Your marriage is over.

 

As for the 2.5 year old.. call child protective services. That kid needs a REAL home with a REAL support system.. and that won't be her mother.