dmanette Posted August 6, 2003 Share Posted August 6, 2003 I have a question. When a person is having an affair with someone who is married, is it a turnoff or a compliment when the married person speaks negatively about their wife/husband to the one with whom they are having the affair? I know first hand that a man will make his wife out to be an uptight, prudish, down right monster when he's in bed with the other woman as a way to pump her [the other woman] up. My question is, does the other person see through this tactic or do they believe what they are told about the evil controlling spouse at home? Just wanted some feedback on this issue. dm- Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 ive never been there, but i would imagine the mistress person would beleieve all the negatives, because they want that person they are sleeping with. Link to post Share on other sites
aries Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 I was involved with a married man, we were good friends years ago and then met up again, and unfortunatley had an affair.(I am married also) The reason I am telling you this is because he never talked bad about his wife. He said she was a wonderful mother and that he loved her. I don't know if it was because we knew each other from our past that he didn't feel like he had to make her out to be an awful person or make up lies about her, because we have always been friends. The only negative thing he did say is that they had seemed to have lost the chemistry that they had once had and that he felt he took on alot of the responsibilities around the house. The funny thing is that the same things that were not going well in his marriage were the same things that were not going well with mine. We were both honest about our partners, I never dogged my husband either. I would say though that most mistresses would want to hear and believe the bad things that are said. It would probably make them feel better and more justified in their own actions to believe that the person is miserable in their marriage and that they are stuck with this horrible monster. Believe me I wanted him to say bad things about her, it would have made me feel like I might have a chance with this person because he is so unhappy. I guess it just depends on the individual. He might have also wanted to hear the same thing--I don't know? For some reason we both did'nt feel like it was necessary to sit and dog our spouses. I have read alot of these threads and it does seem that the spouse is made out to be a horrible person and it seems that most of the people involved in the affair believes it. I say in a small amount of the affairs it may be true, but I say the majority of affairs it is all BS, it is just a way of roping the other person in to believe that this poor person is miserable and stuck in a terrible situation. And if they want the married person they will believe in the lies. Support Always, Aries Link to post Share on other sites
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