Lauriebell82 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I don't know why this happens to me. Maybe it's low-self esteem or whatever. I'm happy a lot of the time, then when something unfortunate or upsetting happens to me, it throws me into this depression tailspin that I can't seem to get out of. I'm not looking for therapy or anything, I guess I am just wondering how others deal with emotional reactions to upsetting events. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 You just have to press on remembering that this is only temporary. Your depression will lift in time, so try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have gotten very depressed with some major events in my life but just make a point of doing things that lift my spirits during those times. You have to take care of yourself. Why? What happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 4, 2008 Author Share Posted August 4, 2008 You just have to press on remembering that this is only temporary. Your depression will lift in time, so try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have gotten very depressed with some major events in my life but just make a point of doing things that lift my spirits during those times. You have to take care of yourself. Why? What happened? Thanks for your response. I don't think it's one particular thing in general, it's more being very stressed out at work (my job is draining), fights with boyfriend, pet dying, friends moving away. I know that self care in my line of work is very important, so when I get too stressed out and something upsetting happens, it just throws me into this depressive state. I do this new areobics thing called Zumba (it's kind of like dancing) which does lift my spirits a little. It's just hard to shake things that depress me. Too bad I can't counsel myself, I'd be in perfect mental health if I could. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 4, 2008 Author Share Posted August 4, 2008 My life is an upsetting event that I deal with by drinking lots and lots of beer. LOL, well I hate the taste of beer, and I'm an addictions counselor so I would self medicate with alcohol/drugs. It is pretty easy to forget your problems when you are drinking, I will agree with that. Thanks for your response though, it did make me laugh. Link to post Share on other sites
citizen67 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 You need to remember that this too shall pass - everything ends, whether it is good or bad. I wish I had figured this out a long time ago. I am still working on fully accepting it and living my life in accord with it. Best of luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
Riley Freeman Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 life is a serious of ups and downs. you have to take the good with the bad, the most important thing to remember is "no situation is bigger than me, unless i allow for it to be bigger than me" Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I don't know why this happens to me. Maybe it's low-self esteem or whatever. I'm happy a lot of the time, then when something unfortunate or upsetting happens to me, it throws me into this depression tailspin that I can't seem to get out of. I'm not looking for therapy or anything, I guess I am just wondering how others deal with emotional reactions to upsetting events. I try to look at the upsetting times as a temporay situation. I ask myself during those times "Will this really matter in 100 years from now"?. Most often..I simply roll with the punches and take each day as it comes. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelybird Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 If I meet tough situations, or feel upset, I go to talk with Lord, and He always comforts me and have right words for every situation, things get better and better. Sometimes praying in spirit would give me many new perspectives and peace. Before I knew Lord Jesus, I drank alcohol, but that really didn't help, Now I'd rather face the problem, go to Lord and ask Him to help me to change or teach me how to solve certain issue If you stand on a firm rock, you will have confidence to cope any problems in your life Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 LB, I really hate to say it but I think this depression has more to do with your unhappiness with your bf then anything else. I think all that other stuff is just icing on the cake. I have been following your threads and sort of tried to stay out of it as much as possible, but I really think you will never be truly happy with this man. But I think I am only telling you what you already deep down know. I think you do a lot of accommodating his ridiculous behavior just to keep the peace and somehow convince your self that it is all ok...but it isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 5, 2008 Author Share Posted August 5, 2008 LB, I really hate to say it but I think this depression has more to do with your unhappiness with your bf then anything else. I think all that other stuff is just icing on the cake. I have been following your threads and sort of tried to stay out of it as much as possible, but I really think you will never be truly happy with this man. But I think I am only telling you what you already deep down know. I think you do a lot of accommodating his ridiculous behavior just to keep the peace and somehow convince your self that it is all ok...but it isn't. No it isn't about him at all. He really does make me happy aside from a fight here and there. But we get over it. I'm talking about stress and other bad stuff that happens. I think it's actually the opposite..the argument or whatever is icing on the cake. Living together is causing some of my stress, yes, but we are adjusting. Anyway, he's not the problem though, it's me and how I cope with stress..not very well. It actually helps to talk to HIM about whats bothering me and stressing me out. He usually is able to make me feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Sorry to hear your pet died. That's sad. I cope by allowing myself 1 full day to wallow in self-pity. (As long as it doesn't get in the way of work, or hurt my H in some way) I pull out all the stops though. Sappy movies, comfort foods, won't change out of my pj's all day. When I wallow, I really wallow. No wallowing is too great, or too hard, for me. Next day, I kick my azz and start working on solutions. I always feel better when I'm taking action. If my job is stressing me out, I try to find ways to reduce the stress (talk to my manager to get some tasks reassigned or pushed back, or spend a few hours overtime working on them to get them done and out of the way, etc). I've been really stressed lately since I'm unemployed and I keep getting rejections after interviews. We're barely scrapping by on what my H makes. We can't afford to relocate for a job so I'm stuck looking for one in a severely economically depressed area. I feel very insecure about my actual abilities in the field I've choosen as my career. etc. etc. etc. I cope by pushing myself (which I'm not doing at this exact moment) to work on my skills for my career, by bettering myself, by cold calling companies rather then waiting for them to post jobs. To read articles and books written on my field. To spend a few hours writing cover letters, and tailoring my resume, etc. It helps me to feel better when I'm taking pro-active steps in my life. The times I feel the worst are when I'm not doing anything to make my life better. Sounds like you're doing the right things though. Zumba and pampering yourself on occasion. Talk to your boss about the stress you're having at work and see if they'll work with you. Heck, I've gone to bosses before and flat out told them "I don't need you to do anything at this point, but I need to know that if I run into serious problems that you'll back me up because this assignment is really stressing me out." For some reason that got rid of about 80% of the stress I was feeling about the task I was trying to do. OH.. OH... Ask for help from family, friends, and the SO. I ALWAYS forget to do that one. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Don't know if this helps, but I like to go surfing a lot when things aren't going right for me Link to post Share on other sites
brothermartin Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Right now I'm going through a really tough period to, so I know where your coming from. What makes me feel better is logging onto LoveShack and finding people with problems unlike my own and giving them the most useful and compassionate advice I can. If that dose'nt work, I watch TV and do shots of Hypnotiq until I can't remember what was wrong in the first damn place! Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 My life is an upsetting event that I deal with by drinking lots and lots of beer. "a 40oz to freedom is the only chance I have to feel good even tho I feel bad" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 5, 2008 Author Share Posted August 5, 2008 Sorry to hear your pet died. That's sad. I cope by allowing myself 1 full day to wallow in self-pity. (As long as it doesn't get in the way of work, or hurt my H in some way) I pull out all the stops though. Sappy movies, comfort foods, won't change out of my pj's all day. When I wallow, I really wallow. No wallowing is too great, or too hard, for me. Next day, I kick my azz and start working on solutions. I always feel better when I'm taking action. If my job is stressing me out, I try to find ways to reduce the stress (talk to my manager to get some tasks reassigned or pushed back, or spend a few hours overtime working on them to get them done and out of the way, etc). I've been really stressed lately since I'm unemployed and I keep getting rejections after interviews. We're barely scrapping by on what my H makes. We can't afford to relocate for a job so I'm stuck looking for one in a severely economically depressed area. I feel very insecure about my actual abilities in the field I've choosen as my career. etc. etc. etc. I cope by pushing myself (which I'm not doing at this exact moment) to work on my skills for my career, by bettering myself, by cold calling companies rather then waiting for them to post jobs. To read articles and books written on my field. To spend a few hours writing cover letters, and tailoring my resume, etc. It helps me to feel better when I'm taking pro-active steps in my life. The times I feel the worst are when I'm not doing anything to make my life better. Sounds like you're doing the right things though. Zumba and pampering yourself on occasion. Talk to your boss about the stress you're having at work and see if they'll work with you. Heck, I've gone to bosses before and flat out told them "I don't need you to do anything at this point, but I need to know that if I run into serious problems that you'll back me up because this assignment is really stressing me out." For some reason that got rid of about 80% of the stress I was feeling about the task I was trying to do. OH.. OH... Ask for help from family, friends, and the SO. I ALWAYS forget to do that one. The more I think about it, I think it's job stress which is getting me down. I was a student for 7 years and now that I have my masters degree I am trying to adjust to life as just a full time worker. That paired with the fact that I have 40 clients on my caseload, I think I'm going a little nuts. I discuss all this with my boyfriend/family and it helps to have their support. I do ask people if I have questions, but as a counselor, clients bombard me with questions and asking me to do things for them. It's hard to juggle all that, and sometimes I feel very overwhelmed. I am afraid to show my bosses that I am that overwhelmed because I don't want them to think I can't handle the job or that I'm not a good counselor. Dealing with heroin addicts is NOT an easy thing to do everyday, so I need to do some self-care which I'm trying to do. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 OP, disconnect one day a week. No plans, no people, no regrets for whatever you choose to do or not do. I call it a veg day. My wife works in a really stimulative environment and gets overloaded, so Sunday is her designated veg day (she's off Sundays and Mondays). She chooses what she wants to do that day. I have no say or input (I suggested this). Interaction with me is optional When I was under extreme stress caring for my mom, I'd buy a cheap ticket on a red-eye flight and do a mileage run. I'd get 24 hours of space from that stressful care. One would think the rancor or airports and airplanes would be stressful, but, compared to what I was going through, it was amazingly peaceful, and I could connect with strangers in a completely non-invested way. That was my self-medication, along with an occasional shot of vodka Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 OP, disconnect one day a week. No plans, no people, no regrets for whatever you choose to do or not do. I call it a veg day. My wife works in a really stimulative environment and gets overloaded, so Sunday is her designated veg day (she's off Sundays and Mondays). She chooses what she wants to do that day. I have no say or input (I suggested this). Interaction with me is optional When I was under extreme stress caring for my mom, I'd buy a cheap ticket on a red-eye flight and do a mileage run. I'd get 24 hours of space from that stressful care. One would think the rancor or airports and airplanes would be stressful, but, compared to what I was going through, it was amazingly peaceful, and I could connect with strangers in a completely non-invested way. That was my self-medication, along with an occasional shot of vodka Thats a good idea to just take a day for myself. Just go to the mall and do whatever I want to do without having to worry about anyone else. Maybe I'll take my day on Sunday because I have plans Saturday. Wow thanks for the idea, I'm going to try it. Link to post Share on other sites
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