jjwest69 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 My seperated wife agreed to meet me, we talked friday after i appologised and said i would be more consistant with her and that my anger has settled and i would like to see how she and her son are doing. Then on sunday she called before our meet up and was all angry, she said that she has relised that i was very controlling and i have the control over this meeting and that i organized this. And because she is alone now she see,s that i was controlling and she can make her own dissisions now. I said to her that my intention was not to be controlling and that oviously we where married and we made dissisions togeather and of course you are going to see this because you are alone now and you have to make your own dissisions.She also ask what my intention was in meeting her, I said it was because i would like to see how she and my step son are doing and to say hi.. She said do you want to be friends. I think what she was saying is,if my intention was anything else that she does not want to see me.She also said it would be harder for me and you should not see me.. I do want to win her back and try to show her that i love her .... We ended it by me saying , When you are ready to talk and see me you call me....I dont think she will ,very sad....I have run out of ideas to win her back..... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I suggest you work on you for a while, show her not in words that you're not angry, and controlling, but in actions. Go to counselling. Deal with your anger issues, learn how to listen, communciate and compromise. Then, ask her to do counselling with you to try to fix your marriage. Give her time and space, let her call you and make arrangements to see you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Agreed with WWIU... no surprise there. You did good. You kept your cool, accomplished what you wanted to accomplish. You invited her to a conversation and showed her you can talk without being pushy. The ball's in her court now. In the meantime, just work on you. Self-confidence is an attractive trait, and you get it by learning to be comfortable in your own skin. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Agreed with WWIU... no surprise there. You did good. You kept your cool, accomplished what you wanted to accomplish. You invited her to a conversation and showed her you can talk without being pushy. The ball's in her court now. In the meantime, just work on you. Self-confidence is an attractive trait, and you get it by learning to be comfortable in your own skin. Agree with WWIU and LJ ~work on yourself. Back up, back-off, take a deep breath. The reasons we have a 50% divorce rate for first time marriages, is that we're not taught how to be married! They don't teach it in elementary school, middle school, (Junior-High), high school, nor college. They don't teach it in church. Nothing~ Zilch~Nothing~Nadda. Its only after divorce (and even then some don't research and go on to their second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth marriages) that we learn about "MarriageBuilders" ~ "DivorceBusters" and books about cross-gendered communication The reason most marriages fail? Is because we marry too young and don't have a clue as too how to make marriage work. Link to post Share on other sites
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