P2k Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I'm trying to pick the ring but I can't decide on a few things: 1) diamond: I was thinking of a heart shaped one. Some things I've found praise this kind of cut, others say it's a novelty and gimmicky. I just don't want to regret it 20 years from now. Opinions? 2) the setting. I saw a few really nice ones that have a couple pink stones for accents on a white gold band. I thought it was nice, but is it tacky? Same reason as above, I don't want to regret it. Any help/opinions are appreciated. I want it to be a surprise so I can't ask anyone I know. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I would avoid anything that's not simple and elegant. Solitaires are a classic style ring that people rarely regret purchasing. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 heart shaped is tacky.... go for elegant not "cute". Emerald Cut stones are my personal fav. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I'm trying to pick the ring but I can't decide on a few things: 1) diamond: I was thinking of a heart shaped one. Some things I've found praise this kind of cut, others say it's a novelty and gimmicky. I just don't want to regret it 20 years from now. Opinions? 2) the setting. I saw a few really nice ones that have a couple pink stones for accents on a white gold band. I thought it was nice, but is it tacky? Same reason as above, I don't want to regret it. Any help/opinions are appreciated. I want it to be a surprise so I can't ask anyone I know. Thanks You really need to look at what type of jewelry she currently wears. I am not talking about the stuff that sits in her jewelry box and never sees the light of day. Those 2 rings you were talking about are a little risky to buy...she could love them, but she also could really hate them. If you like the pink accent stones maybe you could try a safer bet and get canary diamond accents(bright yellow) or chocolate diamond accent( pretty deep brownish). White gold is a good choice these days unless all her current jewelry is yellow. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 This board is full of posts from women who hated their engagement ring for one or another reason. To any man in this predicament, I will highly, strongly and with great gusto, recommend that they just get the woman involved. It doesn't HAVE to eliminate the surprise and romance...though it might take a bit more creativity to pull it off. And then just be totally honest with something like, "I really didn't want to screw up and get you a ring that doesn't do justice to how much I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you...and you know how we men just really don't have a clue about that stuff, so..." I got to select my engagement ring - and I promise it didn't make anything less special . Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 If she loves you as much as you love her, she will be happy with anything you pick out. I want to be married so badly that even if my boyfriend came to me to propose with a ringpop ring, I would still be the happiest girl ever. Just to know someone loves me enough to want to spend the rest of his life with me is good enough. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Tell me your budget and what she already wear and I will try to find some links to show you some ideas. I used to work in the jewelry industry and was rather good at helping men at this. Link to post Share on other sites
Desperado620 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Can't go wrong with classic solitares, princess cut or round cut are usually the most popular/common. In a lot of stores you can purchase your loose diamond and have it put in a temporary setting for the big surprise, then shop with her later for the perfect setting. If you're thinking about colored gemstones for her side stones, be sure you know which color is her favorite and/or which one she wears most often. This will be your best clue as to what stones to get for her. I would stick with a solitare. You can always go crazy with a wedding band, as far as colored stones or extra bling. As far as metals, get whatever she wears most often. If she usually wears silver, get white gold. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 To any man in this predicament, I will highly, strongly and with great gusto, recommend that they just get the woman involved. I so agree with this... The woman has to wear the ring on her hand for the rest of her life.. She should be wearing a ring that she feels she loves.. not one that she feels forced to wear becuase she got married... Unless you know her well enough to make this choice then you should get her involved in the choosing.. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 This board is full of posts from women who hated their engagement ring for one or another reason. To any man in this predicament, I will highly, strongly and with great gusto, recommend that they just get the woman involved. It doesn't HAVE to eliminate the surprise and romance...though it might take a bit more creativity to pull it off. And then just be totally honest with something like, "I really didn't want to screw up and get you a ring that doesn't do justice to how much I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you...and you know how we men just really don't have a clue about that stuff, so..." I got to select my engagement ring - and I promise it didn't make anything less special . It's not about the ring though...it's about what the ring signifies. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 It's not about the ring though...it's about what the ring signifies. That is what women like men to think... but I can tell you that it only works if she likes the ring.. if she doesn't like it or she hates it she will not be happy... Also.. the older you get the more set in your ways you get on your likes and dislikes... I have experience in this field.. The first engagement I had ( mid 20's ) I picked out the ring.. it went back and a new one picked out by her.. Thankfully the wedding never happened but I learned a lot from that. The second one I let her pick it out.. she was happier than a lark... The third and current we picked it out together.. spent 4-5 hours picking it out.. then picked it up a few days later only to return it a day later .. The damn thing looked like 3 mushrooms sitting on her hand and we both hated it then we/she spent another 2 hours picking out something she really liked.. ( and I liked better as well ) If I had to pick it out and her like it I would've been in trouble and not been able to make it happen Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 That is what women like men to think... but I can tell you that it only works if she likes the ring.. if she doesn't like it or she hates it she will not be happy... Also.. the older you get the more set in your ways you get on your likes and dislikes... I have experience in this field.. The first engagement I had ( mid 20's ) I picked out the ring.. it went back and a new one picked out by her.. Thankfully the wedding never happened but I learned a lot from that. The second one I let her pick it out.. she was happier than a lark... The third and current we picked it out together.. spent 4-5 hours picking it out.. then picked it up a few days later only to return it a day later .. The damn thing looked like 3 mushrooms sitting on her hand and we both hated it then we/she spent another 2 hours picking out something she really liked.. ( and I liked better as well ) If I had to pick it out and her like it I would've been in trouble and not been able to make it happen well i would be happy with anything he gave me...b/c i would absolutely kill to have him want to marry me. people don't realise how lucky they are Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 people don't realise how lucky they are THAT'S the problem! They really don't. They sometimes end up focusing on the material thing instead of the deeper meaning of what the ring signifies. The difficulty is that when men "screw up" in this department, it just causes too much insanity, resentment, bottled up feelings, etc., and it's NOT worth that aggro to try to do it alone, and be all romantic and surprise her. I'm not saying it's a good thing or a positive sign, just that men would be extremely wise just to give up trying to "get it right" on this particular issue...and just let her pick the ring. Of course, it's also easier to have the feeling that "I'll take whatever I get" when one is wanting something really badly enough (not just a promise of marriage.) But then...once we achieve our primary goal, now we start looking around at the details...and it can go seriously downhill from there, is what I've learned from all these here posts about engagement rings. I didn't realize it could create so many hassles until coming to LS. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 THAT'S the problem! They really don't. They sometimes end up focusing on the material thing instead of the deeper meaning of what the ring signifies. The difficulty is that when men "screw up" in this department, it just causes too much insanity, resentment, bottled up feelings, etc., and it's NOT worth that aggro to try to do it alone, and be all romantic and surprise her. I'm not saying it's a good thing or a positive sign, just that men would be extremely wise just to give up trying to "get it right" on this particular issue...and just let her pick the ring. Of course, it's also easier to have the feeling that "I'll take whatever I get" when one is wanting something really badly enough (not just a promise of marriage.) But then...once we achieve our primary goal, now we start looking around at the details...and it can go seriously downhill from there, is what I've learned from all these here posts about engagement rings. I didn't realize it could create so many hassles until coming to LS. And my advice to the OP is thos- pick out what you like and if btches or complains about it, maybe you should think twice about marrying her. I never realised how material people were until I joined LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 And my advice to the OP is thos- pick out what you like and if btches or complains about it, maybe you should think twice about marrying her. I would think most women would be happy with any ring.. but again.. if the ring isn't really a good ring or an ugly ring.. you have to feel for the girl.. There are tons of rings out there that a guy can think they look great but if you put them on someones finger it could make her finger look like your Grandmothers.. Sometimes it isn't a matter of materialism as it is someone's taste.. ugly is ugly... becuase you love a guy does that mean a woman should wear an ugly ring ? Obviously there are materialistic people but I'm not talking about the size of the rock or whether or not the band is gold or platinum , I'm talking about the taste of the ring.. That is why I suggested to the OP if he really isn't confident he knows her exact taste of jewelry then maybe he needs to get her involved... otherwise he should go ahead and do it... Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I would think most women would be happy with any ring.. but again.. if the ring isn't really a good ring or an ugly ring.. you have to feel for the girl.. There are tons of rings out there that a guy can think they look great but if you put them on someones finger it could make her finger look like your Grandmothers.. Sometimes it isn't a matter of materialism as it is someone's taste.. ugly is ugly... becuase you love a guy does that mean a woman should wear an ugly ring ? Obviously there are materialistic people but I'm not talking about the size of the rock or whether or not the band is gold or platinum , I'm talking about the taste of the ring.. That is why I suggested to the OP if he really isn't confident he knows her exact taste of jewelry then maybe he needs to get her involved... otherwise he should go ahead and do it... ugh- why am I the least materialistic person ever and yet no one wants to marry me? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 ugh- why am I the least materialistic person ever and yet no one wants to marry me? You should try online dating ....hahahahahahaha... Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 You should try online dating ....hahahahahahaha... I have a boyfriend but he doesn't want to get married ever... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 lovestruck, I think you should start a thread about this. It appears to be an issue bothering you so why not? OP, I also agree that if you want the perfect ring that she loves, include her in the choice. Beyond that, if you have to surprise her, as others have mentioned, refer to her choice of jewelry, although even that can be risky since engagement rings have a ton of significance to them, therefore her taste might differ for this. Link to post Share on other sites
vedderbetter Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I hate diamonds. I hate the diamond cartel, everything thing they stand for is evil empire, and the fact that they tell you these little chips of carbon are the most valuable and rarest thing on earth and people actually believe it. They're not rare - natural untreated rubies and sapphires are FAR more rare. The diamond thugs just control the product supply to keep the prices over inflated. You buy a diamond for 5000 retail, the best you can hope to sell it for is a grand. If you're lucky. The appraised value is worthless. Besides, diamonds only became The Engagement Stone in the 1920's through very clever advertising by (surprise!) the DeBeers diamond cartel. For centuries emeralds, rubies and sapphires were the choice of the upper nobility as wedding rings. So, I have a three carat natural unheated sky blue sapphire from a conflict free mine in a white gold setting. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It has more sparkle and life than a diamond and when I go out, I always get someone's comment on it. Because every other woman here in the OC is walking around with the exact same Tiffany solitare 1 carat diamond, like they got them off some soulless assembly line. I don't want the same ring 10 thousand other women already have. I wanted a custom ring with a rare gemstone to symbolize the fact that my DH is also one in a million. Diamonds blow. There are other (I think better) options and, yes, it still "counts" as an egagement ring if you don't have a diamond. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I hate diamonds. I hate the diamond cartel, everything thing they stand for is evil empire, and the fact that they tell you these little chips of carbon are the most valuable and rarest thing on earth and people actually believe it. They're not rare - natural untreated rubies and sapphires are FAR more rare. The diamond thugs just control the product supply to keep the prices over inflated. You buy a diamond for 5000 retail, the best you can hope to sell it for is a grand. If you're lucky. The appraised value is worthless. Besides, diamonds only became The Engagement Stone in the 1920's through very clever advertising by (surprise!) the DeBeers diamond cartel. For centuries emeralds, rubies and sapphires were the choice of the upper nobility as wedding rings. So, I have a three carat natural unheated sky blue sapphire from a conflict free mine in a white gold setting. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It has more sparkle and life than a diamond and when I go out, I always get someone's comment on it. Because every other woman here in the OC is walking around with the exact same Tiffany solitare 1 carat diamond, like they got them off some soulless assembly line. I don't want the same ring 10 thousand other women already have. I wanted a custom ring with a rare gemstone to symbolize the fact that my DH is also one in a million. Diamonds blow. There are other (I think better) options and, yes, it still "counts" as an egagement ring if you don't have a diamond. I pretty much agree. I have a thing for smoky topaz - must be the perfect shade. And a thing for citrine. I have 2 uncut chunks in my office that I found myself in the back creek along with some real emeralds... not the treated kind like in the stores. Diamonds are way way over done. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 If you're concerned about conflict-free stones, buy Canadian diamonds. This way you get the best of all worlds. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Classic cut and good setting. You can always change the setting later, even pass it on to your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 well i would be happy with anything he gave me...b/c i would absolutely kill to have him want to marry me. people don't realise how lucky they are To some extent that is true...however this is not a ring that you can just put away when you want. She will have to wear this ring on her finger everyday for the rest of her life. She may be alright with a less then satisfactory ring for a little while because she is happy he proposed to her, but if she doesn't like the style at all it will bother her more and more the more she wears it. My H picked mine out with careful thought about what styles I tend to already wear. The fact that he paid such close attention to my tastes just touched my heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 I am not going to get to pick out my ring..therefore I have given my bf some hints as to the kind I want. But if he gave me the most ugly ring in the whole world I would love it and wear it the rest of my life. I would NEVER tell him that I didn't like the ring or take it back. He was thoughtful enough to buy one and make it a surprise. Do you want the proposal to be a total shocker suprise? (thats what my bf wants) If so I'd start dropping some random hypothetical questions regarding a ring. My bf suddely asked "so how do guys know their gfs ring size if they want the thing to be a total suprise?" Yeah, so stuff like that. I agree with everyone when they say a solitaire round or princess cut..you know your gf best. What do you think she would like? Link to post Share on other sites
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