I need to vent! In-laws drive me crazy!

[FlyingToaster]

Hey,

It's been a little while since I last posted. I have some issues with my in-laws and this past week was no exception. I just need to vent a little bit 'cause I know I can't change them.

 

This past week was a big week for my H's family. There's a huge event that they all go to and it's been tradition since my H and I have been married 4 years ago that we host a big cookout prior to heading to the event. This year we chose to have cookouts 3 nights in a row. Since I love to cook, I was excited to do all the food preparation. It's a bit of a control issue for me, I know. But I'm also very aware of the lack of responsibility with this family. I can ask them to make something for a particular night, and what ends up happening is that they'll make something else, and will bring it at a different time. So I'm resigned to take care of everything myself.

 

Well, the usual things happened; people got there late, stayed later, and didn't offer to help out. One exception is my H's older sister. In my opinion, she's the only one who has any wits about her.

 

My H's twin brother was there with his two kids and 2nd wife. He has a boy and girl. They are very close in age (5 months difference) because the boy is adopted. He also has some physical challenges. One of them is being deaf. That is corrected with a hearing aide. He CAN hear us. I emphasize that because it seems all too often this family uses that as a crutch when it's convenient. Especially when it comes to correcting him. Even though their daughter can hear, she's not been disciplined all that much either.

 

The night of the final cookout we also celebrated our son's 2nd birthday. My SIL brought a bunch of gifts for him, as well as 'un-birthday' gifts for her other niece and nephew, and she even brought some gifts for my niece. She actually gave my niece one extra gift because her birthday is this week. All this really upset her other niece (6 years old) and she eventually had a fit and threw her gift down on the floor and attempted to 'grind' it into the ground. My SIL came un-glued and told her how badly she was behaving. She started howling and all her Daddy and stepmom did was console her.

 

We all started on our journey the next day. As usual, my BIL couldn't keep his kids under control and also as usual, we end up keeping them out of trouble while he's on the phone (his wife had to go elsewhere and was meeting up with us the next day). He doesn't see this as a problem or concern.

 

The next day we all went in our own separate vehicles and on different time schedules to the big event. My parents were joining us there and as the day progressed, my mother, son and niece went back to the hotel with me in our car, and my H and dad came back in my parents' car. As I was heading back, my H calls me to say that his brother lost his son. He was attending to his daughter and the boy took off. My BIL had to call security to help him find him, and he was found over an hour later safe. The irony of this is that my BIL's 1st wife, these kids' mother, has had issues with him taking the kids to this event because she feels that he can't watch them and that this exact thing would happen. Wouldn't that be one of a divorced parent's worst nightmare to have your ex-spouse lose them?

 

Since my H is my BIL's twin, he called on him to help find him so my father had to take him back to the event (30 min. drive). By the time they got there, my H's nephew was back with his father. He was not disciplined whatsoever for his actions. My H said he was just so happy to see his nephew, he just gave him a hug. I'm happy he's safe too, but I sure would let him have it for running off.

 

This is what's so frustrating for me. This family has never disciplined those kids. The boy has no self-restraint, and if somebody tells him no, he will walk away. There have been times when we've been at a park and he will get angry and wander away. Once he's found they end up rewarding his behavior because they're so glad they've found him.

 

My BIL being on the phone doesn't help. His daughter is so demanding of his attention, and I truly feel that it's in part because he's always on the phone. When he's over visiting us he gets on that phone the minute he sees that somebody else is watching them. He doesn't see this as a problem and gets really ticked off if anybody gets on him for it.

 

The other thing that gets me is that these kids are eating crap. For breakfast, all they had was soda and Little Debbie snack cakes. Nutrition at it's finest! The girl refuses to eat anything we prepare for her if it's not hot dogs and mac-n-cheese, so Daddy has to run to the store and get a frozen dinner for her.

 

I'll be really curious to see if my BIL tells his ex-wife about losing their son. I feel he should, but he's now making light of the whole ordeal. I really think that he was lucky this time, and that if he doesn't get after his son about wandering off, he may not be so fortunate next time.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Take Care