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Update! To "Seeking New Perspectives"


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My original post -- http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t156651/

 

(I know most of my entries in that thread are incredibly long, sorry.)

 

A lot has happened.

 

The ex-gf waffled on her decision for several weeks and finally recanted her decision to force us to stay in this hot, cramped condo. It will be easier for her to stay where she is and to keep her daughter in her current school for one more year, so after two months of yanking us around, that's what she's decided to do. I'm not thrilled that I lost two months of valuable house-hunting time when I'm kind of on the clock, but hey, don't think I'm not grateful. And, of course, knowing that we're not losing his daughter or facing an ugly court battle for at least one more school year took a big weight off my partner's shoulders.

 

We found out the baby is healthy, and is definitely, no-doubt-about-it, a boy. His half-sister was disappointed but I'm sure she'll get over it, and I've assured her she can go ahead and dress him up like a doll anyway.

 

Two days ago, while we were discussing whether it would take some of the imminent pressure off of us to just rent for six months or a year while the condo sells and not worry about buying a new house immediately, I mentioned that it would also give us a little personal breathing room, in which to take more time to come to relationship decisions. My partner was puzzled until I explained to him that the fact that our original marriage discussion had fallen by the wayside and he seemed so reluctant to address it again had been bothering me this whole time. I thought maybe if we rented for a while it would give us more time to sort out our feelings about that before we threw a whole bunch of money into a new house.

 

That's when he told me that whether we rented for the next ten years or bought a house tomorrow, he wanted us to get married.

 

It's not official yet. He wants to propose 'for real' this time, and surprise me with a ring, and I'm not supposed to tell anyone in our real lives until he does (which is really f'in hard). I jumped in to blather on for a little while about how he should take more time and really think about it and not do this because I want him to or because I'm pregnant, and he basically told me to shut it, that he is a big boy and I need to stop assuming he doesn't know what he wants; that he knows what he wants, and he wants to propose marriage, but in his way and on a certain day, and in the meantime can I just give him some examples of ring styles I happen to like? Then he apologized for clamming up about it for so long and said he has been nervous and kept feeling like there was no right time, since everything in our lives has been so crazy and stressful for so long, but that he is figuring out the right time, and he wants to make it special for us.

 

So. It may not be 'official,' but it works for me. He was sweet and reassuring and earnest and clear about what he wants, and that's all I ever wanted from the moment--any performance with a ring or whatever is pretty much gravy. As far as I'm concerned, we're engaged. I'm not only going to have his baby, I'm going to marry him, and I couldn't be happier.

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I'm not only going to have his baby, I'm going to marry him, and I couldn't be happier.

Congrats! (I guess you gotta go to being UNstung now, huh? ;))

Wishing you both a long and happy life together...and of course, healthy pregnancy and all good wishes to the kid(s), too :bunny::love::bunny:

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