Noob41 Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Hi all. Long time lurker, first time poster (actually fourth). I couldn't resisat this thread since I signed up for eHarmony as well. It's definitely different than other OLD sites but worthwhile if you're patient. Believe it or not, some men aren't attracted to athletic, buxom women. All those men are gay, but I digress ......... Give it time and enjoy it. Not as many nutjobs (but there still are some). And BTW, I've recently been out a couple of times with a Red Sox fan and she's quite charming ....... Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Did you guys talk over the phone or online? Otherwise it's bizarre for him to say "chemistry." What kind of chemistry can you get from an online profile? This would annoy me too. Btw, you know I'd react the same way...probably ten times worse. I hate guys. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Btw, you know I'd react the same way...probably ten times worse. I hate guys. Kinda makes dating counter-productive, one would think Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Maybe that was the Baller under an alias ? ........... ~Bad Art Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Kinda makes dating counter-productive, one would think that's why i'm on a dating strike until i outgrow my bitterness and grow a thicker skin...except for the fwb arrangement i have with my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Perhaps you guys are all right. Maybe it IS too soon. Clearly the sh*t isn't happening right now. No matter what I attempt, I'm getting smacked down. Im already feeling crappy, and I just seem to continue to get rejected. NOT good. I just want to move on, not continue to waste time, and just let life continue. I guess Im the only one who gets this. Universe has other plans... Hey Jilly, I know how you feel because I'm on the rebound too and I keep getting knocked down. It sucks. I think you should just stop trying for awhile and not force anything. I swear it's almost magical but when you're feeling insecure or down on yourself men can sniff it from a mile away...even through a computer screen! When you're not looking for a guy, they suddenly come calling. Besides which, why are you doing online dating? Personally I'd never do that -- I've only heard horror stories. You seem social enough that you'd have no prob meeting people in your day to day life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 5, 2008 Author Share Posted August 5, 2008 Did you guys talk over the phone or online? Otherwise it's bizarre for him to say "chemistry." What kind of chemistry can you get from an online profile? This would annoy me too. Btw, you know I'd react the same way...probably ten times worse. I hate guys. LOL. I was thinking of you when I responded to your thread about Harvard guy, and here I was, all tweaked over some complete stranger who didn't feel "chemistry" from my online profile. And no, we never communicated in any way! Eharmony works by matching people from questionnaires they complete, Shadow. Most of the "guided" communication on the site is via default questions, so you have limited opportunities to really get to know someone on a totally personal level. Not until the end. And I do meet plenty of people in my regular life - just not the right kinds... You think they are sniffing out my bitterness online? Man, that's tough to overcome. Where am I safe besides LS then? lol NOOB - GREAT call on the Red Sox fan. You know she will always speak her mind - lol. Did you meet her on eharmony? AC - Baller wouldn't have the intelligence to get through the questionnaire. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Strawberry Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Well, to be fair, when you close a match, there are so many options as to the reason, they don't let you write in the reason. Maybe the guy wanted someone closer to his own age and felt like he wouldn't have "chemistry" with someone 15 years younger. So don't go dissing this guy...or maybe he is seeing someone else and didn't want to start up with you, you never know. I close quite a few of them, too. I dunno, I swear I get about 30 matches a month on there and half of them don't respond at all and I don't even look at them, and others close them. so that is why I don't really care if they are closed by them, a lot do it, I will close them if I know from their photo or something they stated in their profile turned me off....or if they live too far away, I don't personally want to start out long distance. Link to post Share on other sites
Keridan Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 Bah, the guy is just a loser. Someone will inform him of that sooner or later. JB, you'll find a decent boy, but what happened to the celebate plan? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 5, 2008 Author Share Posted August 5, 2008 Thanks, Blue. I guess I expected to be far different. I've done the match thing - that's just totally open and random. Anyone can write anyone for any reason. When I've been on there, most guys would write me ONLY because of how I looked. They made that obvious in their opening lines. lol. I mean, guys who are 22 or 62 don't legitimately want to be dating women my age... And admitedly, I have selected guys off their photo, too. Perhaps that's why my love life sucks - lol. On eharmony, I thought BECAUSE it was a selective matching process, and not done by the members, that people would take a match more seriously. I didn't expect people to be dismissing each other all over the place. I have gotten about 20 matches in two days. Would I pick these guys out on match on my own? Honestly, not at all. BUT, I am trusting the system and that perhaps these men may be a better long-term match for me, rather than someone who has a "hot" photo. I am communicating with almost ALL of my matches, and trying to keep an open mind. Most of the men I normally date are very good looking. Clearly picking men off (initially) physical attraction isn't working out. I thought this would be a refreshing change. Granted, as you said, I don't know why he closed the match. Chemistry could mean a lot of things, and I understand that (though I think it means he didn't find me attractive - lol). Not everyone is as evolved as the new me - lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 Bah, the guy is just a loser. Someone will inform him of that sooner or later. JB, you'll find a decent boy, but what happened to the celebate plan? Thanks, K. You're like my cyber BFF. Oh, I'm still celibate. But, woman cannot exist on chocolate, hot wings and tequila alone (I know, it's been my diet since Baller and I split). But, I am willing to give a good guy a shot! Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 JB, you'll find a decent boy, but what happened to the celebate plan? This JB does not want a decent boy. :laugh: Anyway, other JB, it is good that are you getting past your bitterness and evolving by talking to every match. The thing is not everyone is attracted to everyone. In my experience, the ones I've commuicated with do not work out; however those that initiate communication, I'm not attracted to them. Not just by the picture but also by what they wrote. I would also suggest turning on stretch match, flexible match, or something. You'll cast a wider net and might meet someone you've never considered? Maybe I should get back on eHarmony so there maybe some JB JB action. :bunny: :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 I would also suggest turning on stretch match, flexible match, or something. You'll cast a wider net and might meet someone you've never considered? Maybe I should get back on eHarmony so there maybe some JB JB action. :bunny: :lmao: What's the flexible match, or stretch match? I actually picked a few states for matches. JB on JB action? HAWT!!! But, thanks for the support. I am trying to not be so shallow and just pick a guy off a hot photo like I would do in real life, or on match. Ultimately, I think we find the right person if we can mutually tolerate each others issues. lol When I was home last week, I had a blind date for the Red Sox game. The guy was SO not my physical type. I NEVER would have gone out with someone like that. HOWEVER, I had a ball with him. He was so funny, and so playful, and so respectful and sweet. I think it changed my mind about not being so quick to dismiss a guy who's not Fabio. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 What's the flexible match, or stretch match? I actually picked a few states for matches. JB on JB action? HAWT!!! But, thanks for the support. I am trying to not be so shallow and just pick a guy off a hot photo like I would do in real life, or on match. Ultimately, I think we find the right person if we can mutually tolerate each others issues. lol When I was home last week, I had a blind date for the Red Sox game. The guy was SO not my physical type. I NEVER would have gone out with someone like that. HOWEVER, I had a ball with him. He was so funny, and so playful, and so respectful and sweet. I think it changed my mind about not being so quick to dismiss a guy who's not Fabio. Flexible matching, whatever they called it, allows eHarmony to be more relaxed when it came to your "match settings" Instead of very important, you might get an important and someone looking for a conservative might get an moderate for example. The other thing you can try is to go from guided communication to fast track, this allows some free form and the ability for both of you to bypass the Q&A. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Thanks, K. You're like my cyber BFF. I was going to sign up for that. Looks like I lost out again. Lucky K. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 JB on JB action? HAWT!!! But, thanks for the support. Darn... I was hoping for some BJ JB, JB JB, or JB BJ action! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 I was going to sign up for that. Looks like I lost out again. Lucky K. Um, you already hold your own position of esteem with me, silly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 Darn... I was hoping for some BJ JB, JB JB, or JB BJ action! :lmao: Don't we all, don't we all. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Um, you already hold your own position of esteem with me, silly. Yes, but not as your BFF. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 Yes, but not as your BFF. Oh, your position is MUCH better and higher. Does this not please you, Scarecrow? Link to post Share on other sites
Noob41 Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 NOOB - GREAT call on the Red Sox fan. You know she will always speak her mind - lol. Did you meet her on eharmony? Are you kiddin'? eHarmony's for wackos. Actually, I met her on Yahoo Impersonals. The environment's a little less serious there than on eHarmony. What I did like about eHarmony was the personality profile they do on you after you answer all their questions. I have to say, mine's pretty darn close. It says I am, among other things, a procrastinator. That sounds so awful. Like, "I gotta close my blinds so my neighbors don't see me procrastinating all the time," kinda awful. In any event, it's interesting you say she'll speak her mind. She's been kinda shy so far (but she did take me to a baseball game on the 1st date -- how kewl is that?). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 In any event, it's interesting you say she'll speak her mind. She's been kinda shy so far (but she did take me to a baseball game on the 1st date -- how kewl is that?). Then she's a pink hat. Link to post Share on other sites
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