PORN..what's really the deal?

[blair08]

I will say this one last thing, and then I'm done here too.

 

I understand if there are people who like it, and those who don't like it. and each has their own debate on the issue.

 

However, there are some people, some of the ones that love it, they act like its the most sacred thing in the world to them. Kind of like getting a visual picture, where they are running around with all of these porn vids under their arm, looking around cursing, and yelling saying,. "damn you all to h*ll that don't like porn." And then just holding their collection closer to themselves, like its the love of their life.

 

 

Maybe its because that's all some people have in their life, for whatever reason.

[Jersey Shortie]

Do you think sexual intercourse in general treats women as "less than human"?

 

Not at all. I'm unclear how you came to that question.

 

Let's think about it, porn stars are having sex, sex feels good for BOTH men and women.

 

How much porn out there is geared to worrying about if the woman feels good?

 

Perhaps men enjoy blowjobs more than women. But women also enjoy cunninglus(wrong spelling I'm sure) more than men.

 

I don't think blowjobs are degrading. But I bet you find more blowjob porn then you do cunniglus porn even though they are both out there.

 

 

The kissing, touching and penetration part of it, both people enjoy.

 

Absolutely! But is' navie to assume that just because these acts are happening in a movie that the woman must be enjoying it.

 

 

Both parties are getting paid even for the activities they don't particularly enjoy, especially the over extended hours of sex. So exactly who is really getting "used" here?

 

Well first, just because you are getting paid, doesn't mean something isn't degrading. Secondly, I think men and women are getting used and using. it's kind of sad.

 

And what part of the sexual acts do you find degrading? thinking about it , I can only come up with gangbangs, and the types of blow jobs where the girls are choking but the rest seems like perfectly enjoyable activities for both parties.

 

I think most porn is degrading. I don't think most men would even want their woman in a porno that was just having regular sex. Men look down on those woman for the most part.

 

 

 

 

I've asked her this question before, and she couldn't give me an answer. I told her I can only assume that any act other than vaginal intercourse is degrading to her. She had no reply. I'm sure she'll have something to say about it, though, which doesn't directly address your specific question.

 

You shouldn't waste you're time with posters like JS. She represents the segment of society that will always be opposed to porn. I hope some of the other, more reasonable women on this board can be persuaded that porn is not as evil as JS and her kind make it out to be.

 

Don't assume because i didn't answer one of your questions that I had no answer for it. Perhaps I did give you an answer but you didn't like the answer given.

 

Why is a woman more "reasonable" if she accpets porn? Because it best suits your own agenda?

[Rorocher]

How much porn out there is geared to worrying about if the woman feels good?

 

Ummm..all porn is geared to worrying about if the woman feels good. BOTH parties are being touched, sucked and licked and both parties moan and groan, women more so than men. Women are encouraged to moan a lot more to express their pleasure because a man's enjoyment is actually fueled by the fact THE WOMAN ENJOYS WHAT HE'S DOING TO HER.

Perhaps you will get it if you actually watch porn.

 

 

I don't think blowjobs are degrading. But I bet you find more blowjob porn then you do cunniglus porn even though they are both out there.

Cunninglus porn is as rampant as blowjob porn. A man goes down on a woman, she returns the favor and the sex commences. In lesbian porn, all they do is go down on each other, for hours on end.

 

 

Absolutely! But is' navie to assume that just because these acts are happening in a movie that the woman must be enjoying it.

She may or may not be enjoying it but it's a movie for crying out loud, THEY ARE PAID TO ACT. Just like in any regular movie. You are paid to convey an emotion either you feel like it or not. It's called acting albeit crappy acting. Talk about one not being able to seperate fantasy world from reality. What makes you think the man is enjoying it?. How enjoyable do you think it is to stay erect for hours at a time? To be called on to spring into action on command?. All the actors are acting just as they are paid to do. Most women that go into porn actually enjoy sex, more so than us regular folks. They also have the endurance and tolerance to allow certain things to be done to them.

 

Well first, just because you are getting paid, doesn't mean something isn't degrading. Secondly, I think men and women are getting used and using. it's kind of sad.

Oh so now you think men are also getting used? I thought it was only women you were feeling sorry for. Degrading work or not, it's a business and it's a service, if no one chooses to work in it, guess what, the business goes under.

 

 

I think most porn is degrading. I don't think most men would even want their woman in a porno that was just having regular sex. Men look down on those woman for the most part. Men look down on women who CHOOSE to participate in an activity in exchange for money.

 

And you are the bleeding heart advocate for porn star women? Are you seriously kidding? Is that really why you are against it? because the poor poor pornstars are being degraded? me thinks not.

 

 

 

I quit, I'm not even being antagonistic. I really thought I could get you to somehow explain your side in a way that is enlightening. Maybe those of us that don't have a problem with porn can actually understand the other side enough to reason with them and agree to disagree. But yeah, not happening. not with that weak argument.

[Jersey Shortie]

Ummm..all porn is geared to worrying about if the woman feels good. BOTH parties are being touched, sucked and licked and both parties moan and groan, women more so than men. Women are encouraged to moan a lot more to express their pleasure because a man's enjoyment is actually fueled by the fact THE WOMAN ENJOYS WHAT HE'S DOING TO HER.

Perhaps you will get it if you actually watch porn.

 

If you think all the moaning that women do in a porno is expressing their real pleasure, I don't think you are being realistic.

 

Honest question for the ladies here. How many of you have watched a porno and thought that what the men were doing to the woman in a movie was a true and good way to turn a woman on?

 

To answer it for myself, porn seems more about turning men on then really doing the true things that turn women on. Alot of porn is wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

 

 

Cunninglus porn is as rampant as blowjob porn. A man goes down on a woman, she returns the favor and the sex commences. In lesbian porn, all they do is go down on each other, for hours on end.

 

Well you have your thoughts and I have mine. You think cunninglus is just as rampant and I don't. What do the other men and ladies here think? As for lesbian porn, lesbian porn isn't about bringing women pleasure for the goodness of pleasing women. It's about a man getting pleasure from the act going on. You make it sound like men created porn just so they could bring ladies pleasure.

 

She may or may not be enjoying it but it's a movie for crying out loud, THEY ARE PAID TO ACT. Just like in any regular movie. You are paid to convey an emotion either you feel like it or not. It's called acting albeit crappy acting. Talk about one not being able to seperate fantasy world from reality.

 

I don't remember aruging that they were acting. We were on the topic of who is getting pleasure. First you say they all are getting pleasure now you are ssaying they are paid to act that they get pleasure. I'm confused by your comments.

 

 

What makes you think the man is enjoying it?.

 

Come on. I don't even have to answer this one.

 

Most women that go into porn actually enjoy sex, more so than us regular folks. They also have the endurance and tolerance to allow certain things to be done to them.

 

How do you know that that is truth and fact?

 

 

 

And you are the bleeding heart advocate for porn star women? Are you seriously kidding? Is that really why you are against it? because the poor poor pornstars are being degraded? me thinks not.

 

I'm an advocate for women..whether it's women in porn or not. I jsut wish men respected women a little more and didn't get off so much to seeing women treated like less then get upset when we question what they really think of women. It has more to do with having relationships with real life men who look at porn then porn itself.

 

 

I quit, I'm not even being antagonistic. I really thought I could get you to somehow explain your side in a way that is enlightening.

 

And you did! Thank you.

[The Collector]

Honest question for the ladies here. How many of you have watched a porno and thought that what the men were doing to the woman in a movie was a true and good way to turn a woman on?

 

Did you read the list I posted? Romantic meals, chocolates and flowers weren't on it.

[porter218]

Porter218, above is what you said in response to this part of the OP's post (I assume the bolding is yours):

 

"An undisciplined mind cannot and will not be able to separate fantasy from reality"

 

You point seems to be that, for "a lot of men", sex is some kind of mindless "compulsion". Like Jersey and many other posters here, your real opponent isn't me and the men I know, but rather some cartoonish caricature of a straw man that you have created to serve your purposes. It's just as worthless as the occasional "women use sex to trick men into marriage and then lose all interest in it" quotes that one sees here. Real people defy the easy categories you seem to want to shove them onto...

 

Mr. Lucky

No, what I am saying is there is an element of that in their sexual desires. Out of all the men I know in my generation this holds mostly true. I am not trying to make a blanket statement. My views are not as severe as JS. I actually do beleive not all men are made this way, but an unfortunately large # of them are. I am not trying to claim that this is how these men are all day long, I understand that there are real emotions and other driving forces behind their desire for sex as well. I am just not trying to write a freakin book when I write a post on LS in order to fully describe what I mean.

[Lizzie60]

Do you think sexual intercourse in general treats women as "less than human"?

 

Honestly, I still don't get it. And I'm even beginning to rethink this whole blanket "degrading to women" assumption. Let's think about it, porn stars are having sex, sex feels good for BOTH men and women. Perhaps men enjoy blowjobs more than women. But women also enjoy cunninglus(wrong spelling I'm sure) more than men. The kissing, touching and penetration part of it, both people enjoy. Some women enjoy a threesome, all varieties of it so they perform in it. Some women favor kinkier aspects of sex so they perform in it. Both parties are getting paid even for the activities they don't particularly enjoy, especially the over extended hours of sex. So exactly who is really getting "used" here?

 

And what part of the sexual acts do you find degrading? thinking about it , I can only come up with gangbangs, and the types of blow jobs where the girls are choking but the rest seems like perfectly enjoyable activities for both parties.

 

 

I don't get it either.. porn is porn, it is not degrading to anyone.. they have chosen that 'job' because it is a job.. they might have some pleasure but bottom line.. it is a JOB, and a very lucrative one too.. unless it is perversion, I have never seen sex as degrading.. I find it odd that people still think as sex being evil or dirty... really

 

When they film a porn movie.. the 'actors' are told what to do.. how to place their arms, legs. etc.. they constantly talk to them.. the sound effects 'moaning' are added after the movie is done..

 

When it feels like it last for hours.. that's also a 'trick of the trade' .. they repeat some scenes over and over..

 

Those films are edited.. they are done the same way mainly as any other films.. they are 'actors'... so even if they had a bad day, and they don't feel sexy that day, they have to perform.. simple.. whether they enjoy it or not..

 

And porn is fun to watch..

[Mr. Lucky]

But I bet you find more blowjob porn then you do cunniglus porn even though they are both out there.

While I think that almost all discussion on a topic like this is worthwhile, the fact that we are reduced to debating the prevalence of blow job vs. cunnilingus porn might be a sign that Elvis has left the building...

 

Mr. Lucky

[redfathom]

I quit, I'm not even being antagonistic. I really thought I could get you to somehow explain your side in a way that is enlightening. Maybe those of us that don't have a problem with porn can actually understand the other side enough to reason with them and agree to disagree. But yeah, not happening. not with that weak argument.

 

I think a lot of peope on here did share their opinion but you don't feel enlightened because that's not what you really wanted. You wanted everyone on here to agree with your side. When you say "reason with them", you mean convince them that you're right. As of right now I think you are agreeing to disagree. I think you just wanted validation not enlightenment, but again, that my opinion.

[JackJack]

While I think that almost all discussion on a topic like this is worthwhile, the fact that we are reduced to debating the prevalence of blow job vs. cunnilingus porn might be a sign that Elvis has left the building...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

The post went way off the original question to begin with pages ago. However, anytime a post is made in reguards to porn, it will get that way at some point. You've got people who enjoy it, people who don't, and people who are on the fence about it, as I stated earlier on. People who post about porn, no matter the question, ought to know its gonna stir all kinds of feelings, and that everyone will have different opinons on it.

 

I do not know why it is after pages and pages have gone by, people still continue to argue about it. Maybe some like to hear the ringing in their own heads, I really don't know. Personally, I don't know what there is left to discuss. I wonder how mentally draining it becomes for people to go around and around about it. Obviously not very.

[Rorocher]

I quit, I'm not even being antagonistic. I really thought I could get you to somehow explain your side in a way that is enlightening. Maybe those of us that don't have a problem with porn can actually understand the other side enough to reason with them and agree to disagree. But yeah, not happening. not with that weak argument.

 

I think a lot of peope on here did share their opinion but you don't feel enlightened because that's not what you really wanted. You wanted everyone on here to agree with your side. When you say "reason with them", you mean convince them that you're right. As of right now I think you are agreeing to disagree. I think you just wanted validation not enlightenment, but again, that my opinion.

 

Wow!, now people can read minds too? The prevalence of porn in our society has long validated my stance. There is no need fishing for it here.

[audrey_1]

Without reading this entire thread, since there are so many on porn, I'm simply going to post what happened to me this past weekend. I shocked the guy I'm dating a little when I asked him whether he preferred porn to sex with a real woman. He had a "deer in headlights" look, and he said nothing feels better than the real thing. (thank goodness) But then, I asked him, since we're long distance, and also only casually dating, and recently stopped having sex, if he'd send me some of his video clips. His mouth dropped, he got quiet, and he said he'd think about it. :lmao:

[The Collector]

Great set of traps you set there Audrey - but not sure what kind of idiot would say they preferred porn to sex with a real woman though. Perhaps it was the slam-dunkness of your question that accounted for his 'deer in the headlights' look.

[audrey_1]

Great set of traps you set there Audrey - but not sure what kind of idiot would say they preferred porn to sex with a real woman though. Perhaps it was the slam-dunkness of your question that accounted for his 'deer in the headlights' look.

 

Well, I wanted to see if he stuttered. Because if he did, the answer would probably have been that he preferred porn to sex with real women. But he was pretty quick to say the real thing. I didn't think of it as a trap, just that I'm not afraid to acknowledge it. I've seen his video collection. We downloaded a movie to watch through iTunes, and it cataloged his entire porn library, which came as a surprise to both of us, but BAM! There it was. This was a couple months ago. If it becomes competition for me, and the action I get lessens but he's just as active with porn, he's getting traded in for a new dating partner. Seriously. And there's no need for me to start a thread to vent about it, either. It'd be a waste of time. Simply ... next.

[blair08]

Well, I wanted to see if he stuttered. Because if he did, the answer would probably have been that he preferred porn to sex with real women. But he was pretty quick to say the real thing. I didn't think of it as a trap, just that I'm not afraid to acknowledge it. I've seen his video collection. We downloaded a movie to watch through iTunes, and it cataloged his entire porn library, which came as a surprise to both of us, but BAM! There it was. This was a couple months ago. If it becomes competition for me, and the action I get lessens but he's just as active with porn, he's getting traded in for a new dating partner. Seriously. And there's no need for me to start a thread to vent about it, either. It'd be a waste of time. Simply ... next.

 

 

I think its good you asked him that. Its always good to know what you may or may not be up against when in a relationship. I see so many people who don't ask questions reguarding important things, and then later on get married and then act really surprised when an issue comes up they knew nothing about all because it may have not been discussed.

[J2FT1]

I see it pretty simply. Porn is just something to help masturbation along. No more, no less.

 

Seriously. I've been saying this for so long. It's a catalyst for an orgasm. Women's catalyst for an orgasm is the vibrator. It's simple as that. No guy realisticaly wants to travel to THAT porn studio and bang that chick.

[porter218]

Seriously. I've been saying this for so long. It's a catalyst for an orgasm. Women's catalyst for an orgasm is the vibrator. It's simple as that. No guy realisticaly wants to travel to THAT porn studio and bang that chick.

No this comparison isn't correct. The vibrator for the woman would be compared to the hand for a man.

[The Collector]

No, the comparison for a woman's hand is a man's hand. The comparison for a vibrator would be one one of those vibrating fake vaginas.

[soserious1]

I've asked her this question before, and she couldn't give me an answer. I told her I can only assume that any act other than vaginal intercourse is degrading to her. She had no reply. I'm sure she'll have something to say about it, though, which doesn't directly address your specific question.

 

You shouldn't waste you're time with posters like JS. She represents the segment of society that will always be opposed to porn. I hope some of the other, more reasonable women on this board can be persuaded that porn is not as evil as JS and her kind make it out to be.

 

I don't think porn is evil, my emotions go 2 places when I think about porn.

 

1. intense burning shame... next to the women that sexually excite my husband I am, to put it plainly,so far below them in terms of looks that I am brought to my knees weak with humilation and shame by some of the stunning beauties he views and how physically inadequate I am in comparison.I cannot blame him for looking and being intently aroused by them and I cannot look in my mirror and honestly get offended because he prefers looking at them and wishes to avoid looking at/touching me.

 

2. I am grateful that my husband has access to something that excites him visually, sexually when I clearly cannot.In the end, when all is said and done, it doesn't really matter who he looks at or even for that matter who he sleeps with, protesting about it isn't going to make him desire them any less or desire me more.

[blair08]

I don't think porn is evil, my emotions go 2 places when I think about porn.

 

1. intense burning shame... next to the women that sexually excite my husband I am, to put it plainly,so far below them in terms of looks that I am brought to my knees weak with humilation and shame by some of the stunning beauties he views and how physically inadequate I am in comparison.I cannot blame him for looking and being intently aroused by them and I cannot look in my mirror and honestly get offended because he prefers looking at them and wishes to avoid looking at/touching me.

 

2. I am grateful that my husband has access to something that excites him visually, sexually when I clearly cannot.In the end, when all is said and done, it doesn't really matter who he looks at or even for that matter who he sleeps with, protesting about it isn't going to make him desire them any less or desire me more.

 

 

I'm sorry I don't really know your story other than what you've told here, so forgive me if this has already been asked, but why are you still with him? You seem so miserable and hurt. The way you feel must effect other areas of your life as well, right?

[Jersey Shortie]

No, the comparison for a woman's hand is a man's hand. The comparison for a vibrator would be one one of those vibrating fake vaginas.

 

Completely agree!

[rainfall]

I dislike porn because I feel it is there for use when your SO no longer satisfys you. All it does is set an unrealistic expectation in a man's mind of what an attraticve women should look and be like.

[Mr. Lucky]

I dislike porn because I feel it is there for use when your SO no longer satisfys you. All it does is set an unrealistic expectation in a man's mind of what an attraticve women should look and be like.

If your SO is so easily swayed, aren't you worried about the attractive women he sees in mainstream movies and print? What about the attractive women he might see in real life ?

 

Mr. Lucky

[The Collector]

I dislike porn because I feel it is there for use when your SO no longer satisfys you. All it does is set an unrealistic expectation in a man's mind of what an attraticve women should look and be like.

 

Same could be said for the men in chick-flicks and romance novels.

[rainfall]

Same could be said for the men in chick-flicks and romance novels.

 

Probably so I guess it is a good thing I find them very stupid and sappy.