PORN..what's really the deal?

[dazed.1]

Do you think that porn breaks up more relationships that alcohol and its abuse? Or drugs, both prescription and recreational, and their use? Do you see porn as the biggest threat to successful relationships today?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I know this question wasn't for me but I am going to answer as if it was (sorry). I do not personally feel threatened by porn. I chose a man that loves being with a real woman. We do, we do not watch (though we have watched ourselves at times ).

 

But many people become obsessed with porn and I think it is equally as destructinve as alcohol and drugs because I think it is equally addictive. Like any other addiction you lose sight of the real people around you that you care about, and your main focus becomes your addiction.

 

Sure not everyone falls into that category but it is a slippery slope, and some people have addictive personalities. There is another man in my life that can not develop real relationships with women because of a lack of respect for women, and unreal expectations of what a woman is. I am sad that I might see him alone forever because he might never know how to love a woman, because he might never know how to respect a woman.

[demrea]

....a world that is so full of filth....?

 

question ...

 

are the acts being portrayed filth or the recording and distribution of those acts the filth?

[Mr. Lucky]

Sure not everyone falls into that category but it is a slippery slope, and some people have addictive personalities. There is another man in my life that can not develop real relationships with women because of a lack of respect for women, and unreal expectations of what a woman is. I am sad that I might see him alone forever because he might never know how to love a woman, because he might never know how to respect a woman.

But that circles back to my question. What if your man might be alone forever because he couldn't climb out of the bottle? Or put down his joint? Jersey and others see porn as the ememy when it seems to me that porn is just one of many traps that an addictive personality falls into at the expense of his relationship. Does the angst with which we view a porn star extend to the person that works in the brewery? Both facilitate access to choices that can lead to that "slippery slope"...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Lovelybird]

question ...

 

are the acts being portrayed filth or the recording and distribution of those acts the filth?

BOTH

 

it is dangerous for children come into this kind of world.

 

The mordern day people too easily get bored, too empty inside, so they seek instant satisfaction, but in the end they eat despair and depression

 

The only cure is to seek back their souls

[demrea]

 

BOTH

 

 

how do you feel about being judged about your choice of activity in the privacy of your own bed? who are you to say it is filth? maybe someone else will view your missionary sex as some sort of deviation. how are they wrong and you right about filth in the bedroom?

 

 

it is dangerous for children come into this kind of world.

 

 

in what sense? surely not due to people having sex?

 

 

The mordern day people too easily get bored, too empty inside, so they seek instant satisfaction, but in the end they eat despair and depression

 

not sure how this is relevant.

 

 

The only cure is to seek back their souls

 

 

in your opinion. religion doesnt sooth all people.

[Lovelybird]

how do you feel about being judged about your choice of activity in the privacy of your own bed? who are you to say it is filth? maybe someone else will view your missionary sex as some sort of deviation. how are they wrong and you right about filth in the bedroom?

depends on what kind of activity. If they are perversions, I would like to check my heart, and get them straight. why some people like to be humiliated, be abused? it is not only on sex apartment, mentally they also like to be abused. Perversion should be treated as disease, not something should be fighted for. If a person loves to be abused or abuse, should he continues this way? superficially he satisfied his lust needs, but later he would feel more despair

 

and watching porn isn't merely about 'privacy'. It involves other human being, consuming porn is consuming humanity, not a small matter.

 

how about having sexual relationship with a child? is it a private thing? what about watching child porn? is it a private thing?

 

religion doesnt sooth all people

God created human being, only God can fill the void. That's why people have so much trouble and twist and mental problems if they don't seek God.

 

people want to deny God, but in the end they are chasing after wind, never can satisfied in their heart, only more hunger, more despaire, more bitterness

 

Sex, money, carreer....none of these can really satisfy a human heart. Only love can, and anything contrary to love will deprive human of joy.

 

Perversion that hurt self or other will deprive you of real joy

Lust that only seek to satisfy self and deny other's dignity will deprive you of real joy

 

Sex is a real joy when love involves, and really care about each other, not use and deprive each other.

 

Can you comfortably say "it is private matter" when you know people use children to play a role in a porn movie? when you know people use and abuse women in the porn? when you know women are degraded in the porn?

 

It is everybody's responsibility to fight for right and humanity and justice

 

 

What do you think that women lose their real identity, playing slut in order to please men? aren't they influenced by the vast consuming of porn? why do you think they seek love by pretending super slut? didn't they buy into that crap in the porn?

[Jersey Shortie]

Believe it or not...some women like to be fisted...just not on camera...and lots of people enjoy sexual activities that I suspect Jersey and you might find deviant.

 

You shouldn't pretend you know about my sexual preferences based on what I think of porn. The fact that people often make the mistake to do so tells me that porn is a much bigger part of people's sexuality then they care to admit to themselves. I am also unclear as to how a woman possibly liking to be fisted in a real life sexual encounter has to do with pornography where millions of men and women can watch the activity? It's not something I find attractive but things done in the privacy of their home are a far cry from things seen for the masses. The envelop keeps getting pushed. How far will it go before we say enough? We already have 12 year old girls giving boys blow jobs on school buses.

 

How many more women today do you think take facials then their mother's generations? How many of your daughters will be envovled in even more hardcore sexual acts as the porn culture evovles even more? Fair questions I think. I am not saying certain sexual acts are wrong or bad or good and healthy. But you have to wonder how far the envelop will be pushed since the continuing trend is that it gets pushed futher and futher for each generation.

 

 

 

You guys talk about this like there wasn't "deviant" sexual behaviour before porn.

 

Not at all. I made no mention of such a claim. I however understand that porn has become a more invasive particpant in everyday life. More so today then any point in history. More men then ever are spending more time looking at more images of porn. From my female personal perspective, there is something scary about that. Watching the man you care for enjoy the degrading of another woman, is scary. How much more pervasive is porn going to become? How much more "hardcore" porn is going to become the "norm". Alot of the "hardcore" porn is on one level or another, degrading to women.

 

 

 

And I wasn't talking about the guy that owns the septic company...I'm talking about the poor shmuck making minimum wage...used as a piece of meat by his boss to clean those tanks believing he has no other future.

 

Again, your comparison of a man that makes an honest days work from cleaning a septic tank to pornstar makes no sense. It shows your own prejudices actually. There is nothing degrading and embarressing about doing a good hard honest day work, even if it's a dirty one. Perhaps you should watch that show Dirty Jobs. Those men are to be respected for what they do, not called "poor shmucks". No one is calling these men names like "bitch" or "whore". 4 women aren't doing a train on a man.....I could go on. No woman is profitting or exploting a man who chooses to clean a septic tank. No man feels the need to get butt implants and condemn his natural body to do a better job at his job so that he can meet some over idealized standard that no woman can even meet.

 

AND...for the record...the girls and guys working in porn are making "honest" money. It's no crime to have sex on camera for money. AND...for the record...women are paid far more highly than men in the porn industry.

 

The women are paid more highly because men would do it for free and women need more of an incentive because it comes at a bigger cost for women. The women aren't paid more highly because they are so well respected for their profession. And I don't think they are making nearly the money you are tryign to implay. The average "pornstar" career for most of them is 6 months to a year. That tells you something about the toll it takes on a person.

 

Most men call these women whores and have no respect for them while ironically getting pleasure from them and thinking they are better then these women. These women are someone's daughter, sister, gf, wife even. Is that how you would want to see a woman in your family treated?How can men be okay with watching women treated liek that if men really respected and cared for women? Porn is men and women pandering to the worse common denomiators in themselves: greed in money and greed in sex.

 

 

Having said that...there are a lot of small, fly by night companies cranking out porn for an easy buck...and many of them are far less than reputable. But the bigger, more mainstream companies have mandatory std testing, good pay, benefit packages, health care...and the women are treated like movie stars.

 

Well then maybe all us women should do porn. Since it's such a wonderful life style. Is that what you are suggesting?

 

While I have no doubt about the benefits you mentioned you don't want to acknowledge the pitfalls. You want to paint this fantasy wonder porn happy land. When the truth is, and I think most men understand this about women, any woman that is oaky with letting x amount of men have sex with her for money, has some emotional issues. In MOST cases. No little girl grows up aspiring to be nothing mor ethen three holes and a pretty face to a group of men. NO WOMAN OR LITTLE GIRL WANTS THAT.

 

AND...there is loooooots of amature porn where the performers look just like you...and me...and your neighbors...contrary to your belief that it is only these young, skinny, breast augmented women.

 

Most porn is young skinny breast augmented women. Most men with wives, girlfriends, daughters, sisters who are anywhere from 16-90 are looking at these images. Nice way for men to show what they really think about women and their place in the world to them.

 

 

 

AND...kudos to you if you are actually avoiding dealing with big businesses like WalMart, etc...you should be commended.

 

I like supporting local business.

 

By the way...BDSM is a multi million dollar a year industry...and it involves, whips, beatings, being tied up, caged, etc...would you suggest that all these people were abused as children? The men and the women?

 

I never said all were abused as children. I am sure some were. If you have read any pop-pyschology books you'd discover that often such sexual appeitites are there for deeper physchological reasons. They could have had other issues steaming from this. They could have been abused as a child. They could feel worthless as a human being. There are a million ways that could have lead them up to that point.

 

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Hard to argue Jersey with anything you've said here. Within the context of how I've come to understand that you see porn, it all makes perfect sense. But I always come back to this thought - why, out of all the "lifestyle" choices that can sidetrack a relationship, do you have such a laserlike focus on porn ???

 

Do you think that porn breaks up more relationships that alcohol and its abuse? Or drugs, both prescription and recreational, and their use? Do you see porn as the biggest threat to successful relationships today?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

I see it as a bigger threat, maybe not the biggest but a bigger threat then drugs. Mainly because the nature of what porn is. Men and women. That takes it to a different level. Women aren't really treated like human beings in porn. Do you know how it can seem to woman to see that? And see the man you love enjoy that?

 

I think alot more men view porn then ever before. It is sad. I see the way women feel about their bodies, always being told they aren't good enough unless they have this or that. Trying to have confidence in who they are but when their own man buys into the stereotype, it's hard to fight alone.

 

I see the hurt alot of women feel knowing they are up against some ideal porno fantasy world that their men keep going back time and time again no matter what she does for him. How men defend it while saying it's not important to them. But the fact that they defend it like they do speaks otherwise.

 

I think it creats disconnect for men and thats partly why men like it. But is that healthy? It's so easy. How many men jerk off instead of getting the real thing? How many men claim that real life sex is better but use porn interchangbly with their gf/wives or say how super hot the women on in it implying that these women, on some level, are better then what the woman in their life can offer. How much porn is degrading to women then not.

 

Men send quite alot of mixed messages when it comes to porn with their words and actions. I don't think men even want to admit how much porn is a part of their life, how much they really do like it compared to real women and how much they use it and are dependent on it.