I don't know anymore

[Tomcat33]

I think the question was for BNB not for the rest of us to ALSO speculate on.

[bentnotbroken]

Sorry!!! Can I ask why you talk to me & offer support?

 

 

I follow God's lead. And he laid it on my heart to answer your questions and give you a view from the other side. Plus I have developed a sort of radar, for lack of a better word, for people who are trying to do the right thing and make the right decisions, but are confused and truly struggling. You presented yourself in a way that didn't place blame on his W or on outside circumstances. You put it where it should be. That earns my respect.

 

 

My love of God helps me do things that I don't always find comfortable or even appealing.(not saying that about you, but the ow in my situation) We are all sinners and make bad choices. It doesn't have to be the end of life. It can be a beginning. I learned something from everything that I have done wrong. Sometimes it took a smack to the back of the head to see it, and other times it took a gentle turning of my head in the direction that I was supposed to be going.

 

I don't think you need the smack, others yes, you know. I think you need the gentle turning of your head to see the blessings that are waiting for you, once you decide you want them.

 

I am no sweetie by any means. I think TC will probably tell you that. But I do obey my Lord a lot more than I used to and he says you need something that apparently I have. So let's just see where it leads us, shall we. I am game if you are.

[bentnotbroken]

Same reason as me. She cares. She doesn't want to see you continually get hurt by this MM. As much as you love him, he can't give ALL of himself to you - Noone wants to see you settle for less, settle to be the OW when you need and want more.

 

Myself, Bent, TC, Sunny, and many others DO care and that's why we're all trying to help you, to see ALL sides and angles of your situation, to hopefully help you make the right decision for you and your daughter.

 

 

Thanks WWIU. That was kind of you.

[whichwayisup]

I think the question was for BNB not for the rest of us to ALSO speculate on.

 

That's funny - I saw earlier you answered for BNB, but editted it.

 

I just took it upon myself to answer her question even though it wasn't directed at me, I thought it would make her feel better to know that everyone does care about her state of mind and her pain right now. Something tells me BNB or dylanatalanta will mind that that I answered.

[dylanatalanta]

I follow God's lead. And he laid it on my heart to answer your questions and give you a view from the other side. Plus I have developed a sort of radar, for lack of a better word, for people who are trying to do the right thing and make the right decisions, but are confused and truly struggling. You presented yourself in a way that didn't place blame on his W or on outside circumstances. You put it where it should be. That earns my respect.

 

 

My love of God helps me do things that I don't always find comfortable or even appealing.(not saying that about you, but the ow in my situation) We are all sinners and make bad choices. It doesn't have to be the end of life. It can be a beginning. I learned something from everything that I have done wrong. Sometimes it took a smack to the back of the head to see it, and other times it took a gentle turning of my head in the direction that I was supposed to be going.

 

I don't think you need the smack, others yes, you know. I think you need the gentle turning of your head to see the blessings that are waiting for you, once you decide you want them.

 

I am no sweetie by any means. I think TC will probably tell you that. But I do obey my Lord a lot more than I used to and he says you need something that apparently I have. So let's just see where it leads us, shall we. I am game if you are.

 

Definately.....I like talking to you, you make it seem a bit easier:)

[Tomcat33]

That's funny - I saw earlier you answered for BNB, but editted it.

 

I just took it upon myself to answer her question even though it wasn't directed at me, I thought it would make her feel better to know that everyone does care about her state of mind and her pain right now. Something tells me BNB or dylanatalanta will mind that that I answered.

 

 

Yeal but the question was how long were you an OW for or something like that? Anyone can answer to correct and say "actually she was never and OW she was a BS"

But if someone asks a personal question of another member like "how do you feel" I can prob guess how a person feels but I wouldn't answer for them, that's just me....:laugh:

[Lizzie60]

Head over heels for him!!!!

 

Yes it was def a slap in the face & it stung big time!!

 

Part of me feels (the bitchy side) that she won & is laughing, she txt me a couple of times when she found out in March & told me he never loved me, I felt like telling her it didn't seem like he loved her very much either!!

 

That's the thing, in the beginning I felt really bad for what I was doing to her M, part of me still does & part of me hates her!

 

 

Hum.. this sounds like a tug-o-war between two women for the same 'spineless loser'..

 

I say let her have her loser.. and move on.. life is too short to waste it on an idiot like that.

[whichwayisup]

I know BNB well and obviously she didn't mind I put my 2 cents worth in. But, if it bothers dylanatalanta, I will apologize for answering BNB's question that was meant for her. lol.

[bentnotbroken]

Definately.....I like talking to you, you make it seem a bit easier:)

 

 

 

I don't want to mislead you and make you think it will be easy, it won,t. But I am willing to work hard to help anyway that I can. As long as you are aware that I am my faith and it does guide my thoughts and actions. If there is no problem, let's hang.

[dylanatalanta]

I know BNB well and obviously she didn't mind I put my 2 cents worth in. But, if it bothers dylanatalanta, I will apologize for answering BNB's question that was meant for her. lol.

 

No bothers honestly......you all make me smile;)

[2sunny]

I think the question was for BNB not for the rest of us to ALSO speculate on.

 

WWIU is not speculating on my behalf. i feel she knows me well enough by now to understand i would have dylan's best interest/happiness in mind for the long haul.

 

i too am a betrayed wife - but i try not to allow it to cloud judgment for each individual's situation.

 

in other words - i try not to judge and try not to use broad brush strokes. each situation has it's own merit to consider.

 

how are you doing dylan?

[Tomcat33]

I know BNB well and obviously she didn't mind I put my 2 cents worth in. But, if it bothers dylanatalanta, I will apologize for answering BNB's question that was meant for her. lol.

 

 

I can't answer for Dylan but can say just wanted to hear BnB's answer and see what she had to say herself since I was also very interested in Dylan's question to her.

 

I didn't want her to just copy what you said I wanted an answer from the heart from BNB not influenced by what you had said, and she did just that and I liked what she had to say much more than anyone's speculations.

[dylanatalanta]

I don't want to mislead you and make you think it will be easy, it won,t. But I am willing to work hard to help anyway that I can. As long as you are aware that I am my faith and it does guide my thoughts and actions. If there is no problem, let's hang.

 

Then I welcome your offer. I have to be up in 6 hours for work so as much as I have enjoyed tonight I am reluctantly going to sign off & hopefully will speak to you all tomorrow!!

[dylanatalanta]

WWIU is not speculating on my behalf. i feel she knows me well enough by now to understand i would have dylan's best interest/happiness in mind for the long haul.

 

i too am a betrayed wife - but i try not to allow it to cloud judgment for each individual's situation.

 

in other words - i try not to judge and try not to use broad brush strokes. each situation has it's own merit to consider.

 

how are you doing dylan?

 

Truthfully................. really having fun!!!!

[Tomcat33]

Have a good sleep Dylan!

 

{{{{dylan}}}}}

[whichwayisup]

I didn't want her to just copy what you said I wanted an answer from the heart from BNB not influenced by what you had said, and she did just that and I liked what she had to say much more than anyone's speculations.

 

You should know her well enough that she can't be influenced by me or anyone else. She's herself and I'm me. Two different people who express themselves differently but strive for the same goal.

 

Thanks Sunny!

[dylanatalanta]

Have a good sleep Dylan!

 

{{{{dylan}}}}}

 

Thank you, talk soon.

[Tomcat33]

You should know her well enough that she can't be influenced by me or anyone else. She's herself and I'm me. Two different people who express themselves differently but strive for the same goal.

 

Thanks Sunny!

 

 

The only person I know well enough is ME.

 

nite nite all!

[bentnotbroken]

Then I welcome your offer. I have to be up in 6 hours for work so as much as I have enjoyed tonight I am reluctantly going to sign off & hopefully will speak to you all tomorrow!!

 

 

I'll be around. School starts for my youngest tomorrow(sniff, sniff) I don't have a baby anymore, and I have to pick up her doufas BF:eek: Isn't HS great?

[dylanatalanta]

Hi all

 

Do lots of O/W have moments of weakness? Cuz I just had one!!

[Ms. Red]

Yes, I believe they do. I was determined & held strong to NC once I made the decision to end it w/ the MM I was with. But sometimes I missed the jerk late at night when alone & when certain songs would play.

 

I still 2 years later have these certain moments that something deep inside gets triggered & I miss the way he made me feel.

 

Just keep coming here & posting. There's always someone up at all hours to talk to you. Just stay determined & think of something that pissed you off about him & that will snap U out of it. LoL Take care & I wish you well. =^-^=

[dylanatalanta]

He e-mailed me this morning & said he had a meeting & could he call in for a coffee, I said yes (please don't shout at me). He has just left I asked him wht he didn't leave & he basically said he didn't have the guts, he said I was the unknown. He said he was going to be strong because I deserve better & never forget him because he will never forget & always love me. When he left he asked for a hug, a hug that lasted about 10 mins & a very passionate kiss, that did me in & I went back on all I had just said to him!!!

[dylanatalanta]

Is he playing games???????? Or is he finding it hard to let go?????????

 

Why say it has to be over & then e-mail to come & see me? If I wanted to end a R with someone it wouldn't be with a kiss like he just gave me!!! I would stay away full-stop especially if I knew that person was hurting.

 

Because my head is screwed up it feels like mixed signals!!!

[dylanatalanta]

Yes, I believe they do. I was determined & held strong to NC once I made the decision to end it w/ the MM I was with. But sometimes I missed the jerk late at night when alone & when certain songs would play.

 

I still 2 years later have these certain moments that something deep inside gets triggered & I miss the way he made me feel.

 

Just keep coming here & posting. There's always someone up at all hours to talk to you. Just stay determined & think of something that pissed you off about him & that will snap U out of it. LoL Take care & I wish you well. =^-^=

 

Do you ever hear from him now?

[dylanatalanta]

How old are your girls?