bentnotbroken Posted September 14, 2008 Share Posted September 14, 2008 I don't understand the deal with your sister. What was your reaction upon seeing MM and W kissing and being close? Sounds like your sister ran in there and meddled because she was emotionally caught up in your drama. Was she avenging you? What were you feeling and saying to her before she busted into the diner? Her sister, was being a sister. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2008 Share Posted September 14, 2008 What's done is done, it really doesn't matter anymore. His wife knows and now Dylan needs to step away, actually walk away, heal herself and not concern herself about his life anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted September 15, 2008 Share Posted September 15, 2008 Personally, I think you did the right thing, Dylan. Seriously...I know many people won't agree with it, but it was the only way to finally get this whole thing sorted out. It hurt you tremendously...I don't doubt that one bit. I don't get the impression you did this to 'get' him...or to 'hurt' her. It sounds to me like you did it to finally get this whole situation RESOLVED...one way or another. Take care of yourself. Don't let this scum sucking weasel work his way back into your life...because I'd bet you a lot that he'll try that sometime in the next two months...mark my words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 15, 2008 Author Share Posted September 15, 2008 Thank you Owl that post means a lot. If I had to give a reason for why I did it then I suppose looking back on it now, it would be because I saw it as a way out, when I came face to face with his W it became about her & nothing else, I can't even remember looking at him. She asked me questions & I answered them as honestly as I could, the only source of information I offered was in anger aimed at him, I shouted at him that he had asked if my daughter would take his name when we married. The hot chocolate in the bath came up because she asked about an e-mail he had sent her of roses, she asked me if he had sent them to me & I told her he had on several different occasions, she said the one time he sent them to her she knew he had sent it by mistake & knew the e-mail was intended for me, then she asked about the bath & I told her that we had talked of a trip to the beach & coming home to hot chocolate in the bath. If I had intended to act like a vindictive little girl then I would have hurled the sex stories into the equasion, I saw how that man spoke to her & how insincere he was for the first time. If he should come crawling in a couple of months then that makes me feel sick to my stomach, all I can see is the pain in that womans face & that I helped to do that, I am not a religious person but I pray that she will find the strength to find herself & to know that she deserves a love & a life that he is simply not capable of giving. But again thank you for your post it really does mean a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 You are blessed to have a sister who is willing to step in the fire for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 Thanks BNB - not so blessed when I can hear her rummaging through my wardrobe for something to wear on a Saturday night. My sister is 21 with the head of a 51 year old on her shoulders, blood is thicker than water they say. My Mum informed me last night that she had phoned him @ work, he actually answered the phone & my Mum said "so you think the only thing you have in common with my daughter is sex - you aren't good enough to clean her shoes" he told her not to call this number again to which she told him "I have no desire to speak with you, you arrogant b****rd but if you so much as look in my daughters direction again I'll be stood in your office". Think that might have done it if nothing else did!!!! ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 OMG. Why is your family going on the attack AFTER you and him were broken up? MM and his W should get a restraining order against you. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 I kind of agree with wild - It's time for your family to stay out of it - Unless the exMM contacts you and bothers you. You two are officially over, the affair is over and his wife knows the truth. It's time to move on, don't look back and let your mom and sister know they need to leave him and his wife alone as well. Your mom is angry, I get that, but she also isn't realizing that it took two to have the affair...MM can't have all the blame about the affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 I kind of agree with wild - It's time for your family to stay out of it - Unless the exMM contacts you and bothers you. You two are officially over, the affair is over and his wife knows the truth. It's time to move on, don't look back and let your mom and sister know they need to leave him and his wife alone as well. Your mom is angry, I get that, but she also isn't realizing that it took two to have the affair...MM can't have all the blame about the affair. I get my Mum being angry, I wish she hadn't done it, but then as I have a daughter I don't know what I would do if I saw her go through the same thing. My Mum never supported my decision to have an A with him, in actual fact over the last 10 months it has caused a lot of strain on our relationship, so she doesn't blame him for the whole A she knows the part I have played, she blames him for the promises he made to me & my daughter, she is actually more defensive I think over her granddaughter than she is me. It isn't the first contact she has had with MM, he rang her just before July to apologize for the way he had treated me & that he loved me, she told him he had a whole lot of proving to do before she would accept him. My Mum simply wants him to stay away so that maybe I'll meet someone & she can stop worrying about me, personally I don't think that deserves a restraining order, she's worried - that's all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 Oops sorry & nobody from my side has contacted his W ever & they never would, they have nothing against her. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 Oh no, I don't agree with the restraining order after one phone call, but if she continues to call or harrass him, then he could get one against her if he wanted to. Anyway, I do hope you focus on healing now. What happens with exMM and his wife isn't anyone's concern anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 wwi - no she won't call him again, I think if she ever spoke to him again it would be a day to soon, she just wanted to tell him to stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 ... personally I don't think that deserves a restraining order, she's worried - that's all. A judge might disagree with you. So far, after the breakup, there have been 2 incidents of your family intruding upon MM and his W. They have a right to reconcile their marriage in peace. If you're smart, you will get your family in check pronto. It's on you to end the drama cycle. You got this whole thing going. You need to put on your big girl panties and end it once and for all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 Sorry WS 1 incident, my mother rang him. I ended my side of this on Saturday & have no intention of going anywhere near him - things were said by him on Saturday to me that I do not wish to post on here, things that concerned wrecking my life in his words. I do not need to get my family in check thank you, they supported me & cared about me & I'll go to hell & back before I let somebody beat them down for doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 ... as I looked over I saw him put his arm around her, my sister said that she felt like walking over & telling his W the truth, as I looked over I saw him kiss her & sat there as though he didn’t have a care in the world, I snapped & told my sister to do it, she walked off & I started shaking & just wanted to hide. You say that no one from your side has ever contacted the W. That is a flat out lie. When you got jealous of MM being physically affectionate in public with the woman he is married to, you sent your sister in to confront her. Very agressive bunny boiler behavior. Seriously, you and your family need to go NC. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 you sent your sister in to confront her Actually, I think her sister got peeved and took it upon herself to go over and talk to MM and his wife. Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think Dylan told her sis to talk to them.. D, I hope he didn't threaten you. Try not to let what he said upset you too much, k. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 I snapped that I couldn't go through with this A anymore & if you want the truth I snapped on the Friday evening, I picked my daughter up from school & came home to read an e-mail from him that read he was having doubts about staying in his marriage, & the following e-mail asked if I would have a threesome with him involving him having a blow-job by another woman & then for him to cum all over my face - so yes WS I SNAPPED. Do not assume to judge me by the information I offer on here because you don't know the information I choose to withold. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 F**k it WWI I'm getting judged for all sorts on here so what the hell. I had an abortion 2 years ago, I had a relationship with a man that had been separated from his W for 2 1/2 years, during our relationship he decided to reconcile with his W for their 4 year old child, when we split I found out I was pregnant, on Saturday he said he would ruin me by telling my Dad. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 I snapped that I couldn't go through with this A anymore & if you want the truth I snapped on the Friday evening, I picked my daughter up from school & came home to read an e-mail from him that read he was having doubts about staying in his marriage, & the following e-mail asked if I would have a threesome with him involving him having a blow-job by another woman & then for him to cum all over my face - so yes WS I SNAPPED. Do not assume to judge me by the information I offer on here because you don't know the information I choose to withold. GEEZ! This guy is truly trying to push your buttons. He is an A1 creep! Did you respond to this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 No I didn't respond but went a bit loopy Friday night Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 F**k it WWI I'm getting judged for all sorts on here so what the hell. I had an abortion 2 years ago, I had a relationship with a man that had been separated from his W for 2 1/2 years, during our relationship he decided to reconcile with his W for their 4 year old child, when we split I found out I was pregnant, on Saturday he said he would ruin me by telling my Dad. I am sorry you went through that.. Sounds like maybe you need the restraining order against him! What a jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dylanatalanta Posted September 16, 2008 Author Share Posted September 16, 2008 & that I might add is what got my Mothers back up Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 Unless I'm mistaken, I don't think Dylan told her sis to talk to them.. Read her post again (I did and quoted it just below.) Dylan made the final call. Her sister expressed the feeling of wanting to do it. But it was Dylan who said yes--do it. It's not right to allow/encourage family members to go on the attack, while hiding and claiming no responsiblity. And to further justify the agression, she is trying to make it seem like a noble thing about family defending family. Bullsh*t. That's a sidetrack so that Dylan and her family can feel like they are in the right for seeking revenge. I have some sympathy for crimes of passion, but Dylan has had many chances to end this trainwreck peacefully and has not. I think her right to claim victimhood ended after the whole work blow up (when she and her MM got busted by their employers.) Rather than realize that her A was causing her and her Uncle's biz consequences, she willingly continued on with the A. I understand the nature of addictive R's. But once all the cards are really on the table, I think it's time to own up to your part in the game. It's long past the time when Dylan can claim any rights to victimhood. And rather than own up, she is encouraging her mom, sis, and the people here to take pity on her. Worse, she is sanctioning them to avenge her, then denying that she has anything to do with their actions. Bunny boiler, I tell ya. :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
wildsoul Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 I snapped that I couldn't go through with this A anymore & if you want the truth I snapped on the Friday evening... Which Friday evening? Did he send you that email before or after the big blow out in the diner? Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted September 16, 2008 Share Posted September 16, 2008 Does it matter? Your prior post said it all. Well put WS. The fact that her family WOULD avenge it says even more. Link to post Share on other sites
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