I don't know anymore

[Owl]

That I'm nothing to him

 

Then WHY are you with him?????

 

Why settle for someone who treats you that way?

 

If you know this, if you can see this...then its TIME.

 

Time to end it completely. Tell him to go back to his wife, and that you're DONE.

 

It'll hurt in the short term...but you'll be far, far better off without someone who treats you like this than you will be with him.

 

There is NOTHING stopping you from doing this right now. NOTHING.

[Tomcat33]

Your post really hit me. Sad to say but it sounded so much like my xMM.

He would talk about our future child. How i was the 1. All about his childhood. He did listen and wanted to know about me, but he mostly talked about our FUTURE together. Never once did he mention his current family during this time. He even talked about marriage, even though I don't believe in it (did once) but after being with him, I didn't believe that anyone could be faithful.

 

I am glad that I walked away. I am free to do what I want. I was always single, but now I don't have to be guilty about dating or going out dancing and drinking, or talking to my male friends.

 

 

I think we all dated the same guy!

[2sure]

I think we all dated the same guy!

 

We all dated the same crisis. Sure breaks the myth: All the good guys are married!

[Owl]

all the good guys are married!

 

 

yes i am!!!

[bentnotbroken]

When his W spoke to me, she told me that he was just flattered because of my age. I have never felt threat over a realtionship by a 'younger woman' & would imagine it..............to be honest I don't know, it's never happened to me so can't possibly imagine what she is going through.

 

I swear to God I hate what I have done to her & his children, it makes me question my morals & principles.

 

I have no excuse.

 

 

There things that make all of us question our morals and principles at some point. That is how we grow and evolve into what we will eventually become. You said you have no excuse, great admission. NOW do not look back. You have faced your past, it is time to move into the future. Learn from this and grow. Raise your daughter in a way that she understands that we make life choices that we will regret, but those regrets don't have to hold us hostage for the rest of our lives.

[Tomcat33]

Sure breaks the myth: All the good guys are married!

 

 

Of course it does some of them are divorced!!!:laugh:

 

I don't buy that for a second, there are as SO many great single guys out there, was never one to think all the good guys are "taken" a guy is as good as you want the relationship with him to be provided he comes with a good set of qualities that appeal to you, the rest is up to you to make or break.

 

In fact I am going out with a really sexy and intellectually captivating tv comedy writer tonight!!! SOO exciting.

[noforgiveness]

Of course it does some of them are divorced!!!:laugh:

 

I don't buy that for a second, there are as SO many great single guys out there, was never one to think all the good guys are "taken" a guy is as good as you want the relationship with him to be provided he comes with a good set of qualities that appeal to you, the rest is up to you to make or break.

 

In fact I am going out with a really sexy and intellectually captivating tv comedy writer tonight!!! SOO exciting.

 

soooo picturing michael moore.:laugh:

[Tomcat33]

soooo picturing michael moore.:laugh:

 

Soooooo not even close.

 

Think tv actor Vincent Ventresca. Michale Mooore is brilliant anyway I would go out for coffee with him it would be SO interesting!!

[dylanatalanta]

There things that make all of us question our morals and principles at some point. That is how we grow and evolve into what we will eventually become. You said you have no excuse, great admission. NOW do not look back. You have faced your past, it is time to move into the future. Learn from this and grow. Raise your daughter in a way that she understands that we make life choices that we will regret, but those regrets don't have to hold us hostage for the rest of our lives.

 

Well I spoke with him this afternoon & he said he wanted to maintain a friendship, I said I couldn't because of my feelings. He kept putting the ball into my court "if you want me to stay away then just say it" knowing full well I would find it hard..................but I did, so not promising that I won't crack but he has said he will stay away & if he does it will be a lot easier, but do promise myself that if he gets in touch I'll try v.hard to ignore

[2sunny]

Well I spoke with him this afternoon & he said he wanted to maintain a friendship, I said I couldn't because of my feelings. He kept putting the ball into my court "if you want me to stay away then just say it" knowing full well I would find it hard..................but I did, so not promising that I won't crack but he has said he will stay away & if he does it will be a lot easier, but do promise myself that if he gets in touch I'll try v.hard to ignore

 

great job honey!

 

i'm sure it's not easy to resist when you really want to give in to him. i'm proud of you for staying strong! he will continue to come after you - it is your decision to make what happens after that. i do believe though, that you deserve more than what he can give you.

 

he's leaving the door open for his own benefit. remember that his actions and decisions are selfishly driven.

 

you need to look out for your best interest now and that of your daughter's as well.

 

(((hugs)))

[dylanatalanta]

great job honey!

 

i'm sure it's not easy to resist when you really want to give in to him. i'm proud of you for staying strong! he will continue to come after you - it is your decision to make what happens after that. i do believe though, that you deserve more than what he can give you.

 

he's leaving the door open for his own benefit. remember that his actions and decisions are selfishly driven.

 

you need to look out for your best interest now and that of your daughter's as well.

 

(((hugs)))

 

Thank you

 

Is it a repetitive cycle for MM to behave like this? I suppose they want us to chase them & feel that we need them!!!

[dylanatalanta]

Thank you

 

Is it a repetitive cycle for MM to behave like this? I suppose they want us to chase them & feel that we need them!!!

 

Which I have done time after time after time after time.................

[dylanatalanta]

I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!!!!!

 

The bit I didn't add was he also told me "I'm not going to leave my W".

 

Sorry to give the gory details but he came round to see me on Tues morning & had sex with me 3 times, I know what you are all going to say...."you know he's a married man"!!! & yes I do know but now i feel like he has taken advantage of me knowing I think he's Mr Bloody Wonderful & knowing I'm still hoping that he will leave.

 

I've made it so easy for him & I wish he was stood in front of me right now so I could punch his f***ing lights out!!!! I feel so mad i want to scream!!!!!!

[dylanatalanta]

I don't think I have ever felt such a mixture of extreme emotions, 1 min i want to cry, the next angry, then confused, then cry again. Over what????? a man that hasn't got the bottle to go one way or the other!!!! A man that sits on the fence with his 'EGO' benefiting from having two women fight for his so called love!!!!!

[noforgiveness]

email his wife. Tell her you had sex with him 3 times on Tuesday.

 

This is so wrong on so many levels. He is pretending to work it out with his wife professing to her you are nothing while screwing you. The man is sick.

[noforgiveness]

oh and after his wife throws his two timing ass out please do not pick up the pieces for him. You do not want a man like this. Especially by default.

[whichwayisup]

The bit I didn't add was he also told me "I'm not going to leave my W".

 

What he is offering you is for you to be the OW in his life. To have sex with him, have fun with him, be HIS friend...Be there for HIM. HIM HIM HIM. See the pattern? Yet, he won't leave his wife or make any real effort unless it's on his time frame. You are HIS friend but he isn't YOURS.

 

What a fool he is.

[dylanatalanta]

email his wife. Tell her you had sex with him 3 times on Tuesday.

 

This is so wrong on so many levels. He is pretending to work it out with his wife professing to her you are nothing while screwing you. The man is sick.

 

To tell her would be good to screw him over!!! But I feel guilt for her

[wildsoul]

The bit I didn't add was he also told me "I'm not going to leave my W".

There's your ticket to freedom if you want to get off the A-train. Take it girl! Cling onto that statement as a fact. Use it to keep you afloat during the times when you miss him. Let anger burn your bridges. Whatever. He drew the line in the sand and told you he's not leaving. Believe him. Even if he backtracks (and he will) believe him.

 

Otherwise, he will assume you are choosing to be with him even though he told you his is not going to leave his W.

[dylanatalanta]

I told him today when it got a little heated that his wife deserves to know the truth, he looked at me & said "you're not a nasty person you wouldn't tell her", I told him that I wouldn't contact her but if she ever contacted me again that I wouldn't lie for him

[noforgiveness]

To tell her would be good to screw him over!!! But I feel guilt for her

 

What do you think would be better for her? To continue living a lie and fixing this farce of a marriage or be able to determine her own future on facts not lies?

 

Feel sorry enough for her to be honest with her.

[2sunny]

to tell her (the W) would be wasting your time. she has proven that she will take him back even if he's cheating.

 

he's selfish - that we do know.

 

you need to set your own boundaries and stick to them so that you can take care of YOUR OWN happiness. no one else can do this for you. you will be proud of yourself and it will help you to heal.

[dylanatalanta]

There's your ticket to freedom if you want to get off the A-train. Take it girl! Cling onto that statement as a fact. Use it to keep you afloat during the times when you miss him. Let anger burn your bridges. Whatever. He drew the line in the sand and told you he's not leaving. Believe him. Even if he backtracks (and he will) believe him.

 

Otherwise, he will assume you are choosing to be with him even though he told you his is not going to leave his W.

 

 

I will & like you say he will be in touch again beacuse he has done it again & again. The first two times I believed his statement, now I just count the days till he will back-track on his feeble lies

[NoIDidn't]

Ditch that zero!!!

 

He told you he's not leaving his W after having sex with you THREE TIMES? Did I read that correctly?

 

He just told you in so many words to take what you can get from him because he will always have to put her and their things/events/family first.

 

This is just disgusting. I don't blame you for wanting to beat his brains out.

 

EWWWWWW!!!

[Tomcat33]

I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!!!!!

 

The bit I didn't add was he also told me "I'm not going to leave my W".

 

Sorry to give the gory details but he came round to see me on Tues morning & had sex with me 3 times, I know what you are all going to say...."you know he's a married man"!!! & yes I do know but now i feel like he has taken advantage of me knowing I think he's Mr Bloody Wonderful & knowing I'm still hoping that he will leave.

 

I've made it so easy for him & I wish he was stood in front of me right now so I could punch his f***ing lights out!!!! I feel so mad i want to scream!!!!!!

 

Yes you have made it very easy for him, and at least you are able to see that now which means you can actually do something about it and change that.

 

I would not tell his W a single thing as some suggested, it's not worth the hassle for you she will only burry her head down deeper in the sand see you as the "homewrecker that feeds her lies" (she doesn't trust you and never will she trusts her H) and he will go deeper with his lies you will make it easier for him to cover more up and make it look like he is the innocent one here. AND on top of it in the end you will feel even worse because it will get you absolutely NOWHERE.

 

 

Focus on staying away from him, focus on a gameplan to keep him away, focus on standing up for yourself and for what you are worth and deserve, let him stew over in his mess out of sight out of mind it's NOT your problem anymore. Let him continue to lie and play this charade he calls "marriage recovery" sooner or later his world is going to come crashing down. If he realises he can no longer have you and knows NOTHING about you this is when his real panic will set in, he will be flipping in his shoes trying to figure out how you could be over him so quickly it will do his head in, MUCH like he is doing your head in now.

 

It's time Dylan, it's time for a taste of his own medicine. It's time to see him stew.

 

And by the way he will continue to make contact for a long time to come dont believe him for a SECOND this is the last time and that he will respect you, BULL he won't respect you at all, because all he thinks about is his own needs.