ohmy3 Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 isn't rude to not go to someone's wedding (that u can) but there reception? i surely think so , my husband is, and it took me some thinking if i'd go or not, i know the family of the younger guy by name and such, that's it , he dose know the guy w/ in last yr. (more socially basis) that is getting married, he'd told the guys @ there last fire meeting (wedding or reception) is ok, i just find it very odd, he is hell bent on going to the recep. so i told him i take kids to fair, i am not going to sit at home while he goes (not that i can't go), i find it uncomfortable ....... i am not thrilled he's hell bent on going, he got very mad @ me @ 1st thinking i was telling him HE can't go cz i wasn't, he can't see that i find it odd for me as i state above, he was only concerned-angered as when i said i'd take kids to fair instead, he thoguht i was saying he shouldn't go (not a thought of kids/fair) last thing before school starts in a week or so . any thoughts? i must say to i am certain he knew i'd say no about going as i am that way in things like this........ people i don't know - he'll be gun hoe to go, if he knows em' however w/ me an opposite no he'll complain and such....... Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 I think it is rude. He is basically implying that he don't give a crap about these people getting married but he just wants the free food & boos. Link to post Share on other sites
vedderbetter Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Completely rude and tasteless. You might as well walk up to the newly married couple and say "I don't care enough about you to come to your wedding, but I decided to show up to eat your expensive food and get drunk at your open bar. By the way, I didn't bring a present either. Cheers suckers!" Only a totally ill-mannered arsehole would think this was acceptable behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 I'm curious about the present H will bring to the reception. Something tells me he'll be curious about that pile of boxes and cards too Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 Why doesn't he want to go to the wedding? My brother recently had a christening for his son and an after-party. I skipped the christening because I don't want my nieces and nephews to think I support religion by association; and only went to the after party. I think that's valid. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 I really didn't take that great notice of who came to my ceremony... there was too much else to think about. My ex and I had a civil ceremony because neither of us are religious people. There were quite a few relatives, etc that didn't come to the ceremony because it wasn't religious, and they didn't agree with that. They came to the reception to celebrate after- and that was fine with me, I was not offended. For me, the ceremony was about my husband and I- and the party was for everyone else. So- since it's not important to me- it's not disrespectful or rude to me. It's only offensive to the couple if they feel they want everyone at the ceremony as well as the party. Link to post Share on other sites
sfsassy Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 I really didn't take that great notice of who came to my ceremony... there was too much else to think about. My ex and I had a civil ceremony because neither of us are religious people. There were quite a few relatives, etc that didn't come to the ceremony because it wasn't religious, and they didn't agree with that. They came to the reception to celebrate after- and that was fine with me, I was not offended. For me, the ceremony was about my husband and I- and the party was for everyone else. So- since it's not important to me- it's not disrespectful or rude to me. It's only offensive to the couple if they feel they want everyone at the ceremony as well as the party. My mom and stepdad had a ceremony in Quebec with just immediate family, than a big party/reception in San Francisco with like 100 people, so in that case, obviously not everyone came to the wedding, as my mom and stepdad wanted the ceremony to be really intimate. However, when/if I get married I want it to be a gathering of family and friends, and it would be rude if someone just came for the party part. I know if it ever happens for me, I will actually be looking at the people I have loved as I walk (roll!, lol) down the aisle. However, I think it depends on the couple. If you don't know, than you should go to both. I think it would be incredibly bad form to just go to the reception, without asking the bride and groom first. A Christening is different because that is strictly a religious ceremony. I've gone to many Christenings, and it is more common for people to pop into the after parties. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 I have done that before when it is blazing hot or freezing cold, and the church is tiny, old, and only seats about 120. Guests typically stand outside once the church fills. So why stand outside and sweat or shiver, when I can't see the ceremony anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
sfsassy Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 I have done that before when it is blazing hot or freezing cold, and the church is tiny, old, and only seats about 120. Guests typically stand outside once the church fills. So why stand outside and sweat or shiver, when I can't see the ceremony anyway? Well, the couple should plan better in this case, so everyone can go inside. I just don't think it is right, unless you know it is alright with them. Maybe it is just where I live or something, (Though San Francisco isn't known for its conservatism, lol) but no one I have ever known has considered skipping the ceremony, and just going to the reception The ceremony is why people have the reception in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 he dose know the guy w/ in last yr. (more socially basis) that is getting married, he'd told the guys @ there last fire meeting (wedding or reception) is ok, I think it's just a matter of personal values. As well, I'm not sure I interpreted correctly but it seems that the groom had said (at the last fire meeting) that it is okay if the guys only attend the reception? In which case, IT IS OKAY. I think maybe there is a tendency for guys look at it differently, anyway -- to them, they definitely do want to celebrate their mate's marriage, and they see the celebration as being at the reception, not at the church/ceremony. (And maybe even many grooms see it that way, too -- that the "ceremony" part is mostly for the bride. NOT that this is a good way to look at it, and NOT that ALL men may have similar thoughts. Just maybe that is part of it.) Are you saying that you would have gone, if your hubby had opted to go to the ceremony as well? Because, if a coworker/friend of mine was getting married, and even if my hubby didn't know anyone, I would still expect him to accompany me to such a formal event as a wedding reception... regardless of whether or not HE thinks we also ought to have been at the ceremony. (He does not get to force his values on me, but my difference in values doesn't excuse him from doing his bit as part of the couple that we are.) Link to post Share on other sites
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