love of my life

[BJC1213]

my girlfriend of 2 years is extremely flirtacious, and it bothers me alot when im not with her and i know shes sitting on other guys laps and hanging all over them. she knows it bothers me, but she says that its part of her "personality" and doesnt want to change. i know she would never cheat on me but the thought of other guys getting the impression that she would bothers me. i love her soo much and feel that shes the one, but i dont know what to do if she says that she doesnt want to change. someone just tell me if thres a problem or if its just me being a jealous boyfriend.

[bish]

my girlfriend of 2 years is extremely flirtacious, and it bothers me alot when im not with her and i know shes sitting on other guys laps and hanging all over them.

 

If that is what she is doing, its unacceptable behavior for someone in a committed relationship. I wouldn't bother with someone as fickle, but thats me.

 

 

she knows it bothers me, but she says that its part of her "personality" and doesnt want to change.

 

Then dump her. hanging all over other guys and not giving a crap if it bothers her significant other is grounds to be kicked to the curb. And flirts like you're gf don't have a good track record of being faithful.

 

Get rid of her. Let the playas have her.

 

 

i know she would never cheat on me

 

Think again. Especially after how you described it.

 

 

but the thought of other guys getting the impression that she would bothers me. i love her soo much and feel that shes the one

 

If she doesn't care how you feel and won't stop rubbing her butt on other guys laps, then no, she is NOT the one.

 

 

but i dont know what to do if she says that she doesnt want to change. someone just tell me if thres a problem or if its just me being a jealous boyfriend.

 

Its one thing to be jealous if she simply converses with other guys. Its quite another to be bothered by flagrant and obvious flirting. She flirts with these guys for a reason. She wants their attention.

 

Does she sit on other girls' laps and hang all over them too? of course not, her girlfriends don't have penises.

[BJC1213]

but shes never cheated on anybody before, she says that she doesnt want to hurt me but she likes who she is and doesnt want to change. i dont think she would ever cheat on me, but stuations have happened where her flirting has brought other guys to try things, and i guess thats what bothers me most about it. she has never done anything to make me think that she wouldnt be faithful and i think she will always be faithful, but i just dont know what to do about this situation, can it ever be resolved?

[Bryanp]

If you were always flirting with other women and putting them on your lap and hugging them; do you think your girlfriend would stand for this? If you said I won't cheat on you but it is part of my personality to put women on my lap and squeeze and hug them; do you honestly think she would think it is acceptable? When she does these things with other men she is sending out a message to other people that you are a fool and to pitied for being her girlfriend. This behavior shows she has little respect for you. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

[rproctor]

How old are you guys? Im betting still fairly young, like teens, maybe early 20s... She is immature, even if she is NOT cheating on you, and wont cheat on you, her actions and personality about this are very much immature. Also, chances are, if she goes that far, if she had a few drinks, she might not be able to distinguish the difference. Dont fall for it man, seems sketchy.

[AAlike]

One thing to consider - I've noticed that women, especially women in their early 20's, tend to do this as a sort of assertion of power in the relationship. I remember a few years back when a good friend of mine first met his eventual spouse, we used to go out on occassion as a crew, and him and I would often go play darts or golden tee or whatever, which she couldn't stand, as she wanted him to pay attention to her. Her rebuttal in these situations was oftentimes to "coincidentally" start talking to some guy. This actually bothered me more than it my friend - I used to think he was the biggest sap and her the biggest b*tch...he, on the other hand was so used to it and realized that she'd outgrow it - which she did.

 

Not to mention, women, especially young ones, have a need to feel "hot" more than guys do. or, perhaps more accurately, guys get a sense of physical validation or accomplishment just from the fact that they're sleeping with someone...I don't think that women get the same. Do you make it a point to tell her how attractive she is on a regular basis?

 

Granted - I'm not trying to excuse her behavior...whether she's doing it for power or validation, it's obviously having a negative effect on you, which in and of itself should make her stop doing it ideally. I'm just saying that she might not be doing it with purely malicious intent, and I don't think that it predisposes her towards cheating. What has her response been when you've told her that you are uncomfortable with this?

[bish]

but shes never cheated on anybody before

 

Not that you know of. And in any case, by your description, she is definitley the type.

 

 

she says that she doesnt want to hurt me but she likes who she is and doesnt want to change.

 

Then let some other fool put up with her crap.

 

 

i dont think she would ever cheat on me, but stuations have happened where her flirting has brought other guys to try things, and i guess thats what bothers me most about it.

 

Of course it gets guys to hit on her, why do you think she does it?

 

 

she has never done anything to make me think that she wouldnt be faithful

 

Even basically giving a guy a watered down lapdance?

 

 

and i think she will always be faithful, but i just dont know what to do about this situation, can it ever be resolved?

 

Nope. She flirts, she likes to flirt, doesn't care what you think about it and won't change. She flirts because it does something for her.....makes other guys interested.

 

There is a saying, "there is no hurt in a little flirt".....to which I say, bulls##t.