Savings ? comment!

[Trialbyfire]

Even Paris Hilton found a job of sorts. If this woman really lived in Paris and Geneva past the age of 18, there's no reason why she couldn't get a job anywhere else in the world.

[vonerik012]

It is hard to work in Paris unless you speak fluent French, and their economy is not the greatest. But she did have a job babysitting there. She has never lived with a parent since 18.

 

Actually, many would be jealous of her lifestyle. 3 bedroom condo on the beach in Ipanema, new car, money to travel, go to the gym everyday, read, go to the beach, get hair and nails done, etc. But with everything there is a balance, and she is a very difficult person to be with in a relationship as she has no concept of giving, working, etc. Living off her parents dime did that to her.

 

I don't think many would be jealous of the girl who lives at home working her life away in some boring town in the USA to save and finally buy a new car after 15 years of work.

[climbergirl]

While I'll agree that learning self support isn't rocket science, it does come easier to some than others. And unless the OP is managing all the finances, she really doesn't have a good grip on what things cost. She can have an assumption of what how things add up on a monthly basis, but IMO, a person who really manages money well is taking into consideration those 'surprise' expenses (loss of job, house repairs, medical expenses etc).

 

I don't know about you guys, but my parents never divulged what they paid for rent, clothes, food, utilities. I had a better appreciation once I moved out and based my expenses on needs rather than wants.

 

I've never said that the OP is pathetic, nor do I think she is, but my honest reply is that I would think twice about getting serious with anyone who spent their whole lives living with their parents. And those who think doing so is no big deal-would you really have no reservations of dating someone under similar circumstances? Just curious.

[Jilly Bean]

What's more contemptible, a person who works but lives at home and saves money or a brazilian g/f who never works, lives off her father and LDR b/f, who can't cook or clean, nvm getting up in the mornings to be with her supporting LDR b/f when she visits?

 

LOL!!!!! :D:D

 

So, Vonerik is Bones. Is he also I'm Bewildered and Woods, or is that combo one other entity?

[vonerik012]

Good question.. If living at home is perfectly acceptable, would you want to enter into a relationship with a man who was 35-40 and never been on his own?

[Trialbyfire]

LOL!!!!! :D:D

 

So, Vonerik is Bones. Is he also I'm Bewildered and Woods, or is that combo one other entity?

I think imbewildered is someone else but I could be wrong. The writing style is a little more confrontational, almost with a feminine catty flavour to it, like spikeychick....

[Jake Barnes]

Good question.. If living at home is perfectly acceptable, would you want to enter into a relationship with a man who was 35-40 and never been on his own?

what if he keeps bouncing back like a yo-yo?......but he pays his own expenses and buys some groceries, but doesnt pay rent

[Jilly Bean]

I think imbewildered is someone else but I could be wrong. The writing style is a little more confrontational, almost with a feminine catty flavour to it, like spikeychick....

 

Yeah, I thought spikey chick was Im Bewildered. But, I also caught Woods and Im Bewildered posting the EXACT same misogynistic ramblings, so I think they are the same. Spikey Chick is gone, it seems. I called him out on in it on a post, and he said that Woods must be emulating him to a T, or something to that effect. Laughable.

 

But Bones is Vonerik, correct? That's classic.

[Trialbyfire]

Same site/philosophy which I believe is cast in stone like a bible there, but different people, I think. I could easily be wrong though.

[lino]

Is agreement always necessary? Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Everyone is also entitled to dispute that opinion, like I'm disputing your opinion. Is popularity that important to you that your opinion is only meaningful if everyone validates you?

 

Not necessarily. Italians aren't poor and you'll find that there are a substantial population of asians that are also very, very wealthy. This doesn't stop them from living in an extended family unit under one roof. I suspect you're not current as to the living conditions of both China and India. They've embraced technology and have taken away many North American jobs from outsourcing, living the high life within extended family units.

 

So, who's in better financial shape? Think about it.

 

As for personal preferences, those are my preferences, not a blanket generalization of what constitutes a pathetic person or someone who isn't pathetic. Everyone needs to partner with someone they're happy with, who has the same or similar core values and life goals. If two people want to live at home until they get married, more power to them. If two people want already self-made partners, more power to them.

 

Do you finally understand what I'm trying to communicate to you?

 

I think you also might be a little hypocritical.

 

Take a stereotypical family living in Italy, since you like that example.

 

Man is 30ish works about 15-20 hours a week. His mom cooks for him. He spends his time playing soccer during the day with friends, working a few hours at night, going out afterwards with some family members and friends to have a few drinks, then sleeping until 12 the next day, etc. I agree, not a bad life.

 

But if you met a man in the USA with this lifestyle, you would call him pathetic. Or at least 90% of American women would. Part time job, little money, no goals, no high education or "status" job. Living life care free with parents, and having fun.

 

What is fine in one culture, is not fine in another.

 

That isn't a stereotypical Italian house anymore. 40+ years ago, yes it was.

In Italian cities the mummies boy stereotype no longer exists. In small towns or rural areas you can still find it a lot though and in Southern Italy it will be much more common than in the North.

Italian men work full-hour weeks now much more than in the past and don't live at home with their parents until the mid 30s anymore.

[openingup]

Zicke- are you just jealous that she can afford a new car and you can't? Why is everyone who is living at home in their 20's & 30's getting flack for it on this board?

 

Because it's someone ELSE'S home.

[openingup]

No? I don't know anyone who stayed at home past high school. Even my friends who didn't go off to college moved out and got their own apartments. In fact, I don't think I've ever known anyone even socially who lived at home past school.

 

Cosign. And like you, I'm debt-free and have a stellar credit rating. Imagine what heights we would have reached if someone else had paid all of our bills for 10, 15, 20 years?

 

We'll never know - we had some self-respect.

[Lishy]

Good question.. If living at home is perfectly acceptable, would you want to enter into a relationship with a man who was 35-40 and never been on his own?

 

I would run a mile!!!!!!!!

[mental_traveller]

It's an issue you should be concerned about, but it's not enough to totally derail a potential relationship. It's very common for one person in a relationship to be useless with money - so long as this is recognised early, and its decided that the more financially responsible one controls the budget, then that's not a problem.

 

Since he seems good in other ways, I would say don't fret too much about it. Having no savings is not like having an outright debt mountain. It can be fixed just by not spending much for the next year. On that note, you ought to discuss with him about getting a new car. The depreciation on those things in the first year or two is horrific, especially in this economy. Get a 2-3 year old fault-free car from a reliable manufacturer and save a fortune. Get an economical car not an SUV. That may well solve the affordability issue. A car is to get you from A to B, not to guzzle all your cash.

[mental_traveller]

That isn't a stereotypical Italian house anymore. 40+ years ago, yes it was.

In Italian cities the mummies boy stereotype no longer exists. In small towns or rural areas you can still find it a lot though and in Southern Italy it will be much more common than in the North.

Italian men work full-hour weeks now much more than in the past and don't live at home with their parents until the mid 30s anymore.

 

I know someone living in Italy, just moved out from their parents' place at age 33.

 

However, I agree that in a more individualistic, less family-focused culture like the US, staying with your parents until that age is a sign of a slight lack of maturity and ambition.

[mental_traveller]

Because it grossly goes against natural order.

 

Humans are the only ones who keep their young around as long we we do. In any other species, the young are reared for days, months, a year or so tops, and then they are independent and never see their parents again.

 

Even among humans, staying at home past the *usual* age of 18 is frowned upon and regarded as odd.

 

It's actually pretty common in the majority of the world to stay with parents beyond 18. In many cultures people don't leave until they get married in the 20s or even 30s.

 

I think you are confusing "natural order" with "typical in the west". Even though I personally agree with you and couldn't wait to move out asap, not everyone is like that.

[lovestruck818]

Some people have a yearning for independence. I am one of them. I will NEVER relate well to a man or woman who lives at home with mommy and daddy, and then actually sucks off of them. Mexican immigrants come here at 16 to work , live, and actually send money back home to their parents.

 

And you are telling me 25 yr old Americans just can't afford to be self sufficient? If you are making 6 dollars an hour for more than 3 months in your life in the USA, you are a loser. I don't think this person will be saving much for a home by living at home either.

 

Sure, why not live at home until retirement age? Or wait for your parents to die and give you the house, so you never have to pay rent or interest on a mortgage. Those would be smart financial decisions!

 

If you are the type that has your parents support you until your 30's, I feel you are pathetic. And so will millions of others. But if it works for you, keep doing it. Maybe find a man who also lives at home, and you can make a good couple. Or just move the husband into your home. That would save more money too. I mean isn't that why we are on Earth? To save money?

 

But some people go to grad school and have to pay for it and financially can't afford to move out. My boyfriend for example. He is still payingoff grad school debt, whereas if he didn't go to grad school and went into the wrokforce right after college, he would have 3 additional years working and to save money.

[lovestruck818]

I left home at 17, when I graduated highschool and went to University. Does this make everyone else who left home at age 18+, pathetic? Especially those who didn't get an education? Or for that matter, does that make everyone who didn't skip grades, stupid? Ummm...I think not...

 

someone who doesn't get an education and moves out, IMO, is more "pathetic" that someone who goes to college and then lives at home.

[lovestruck818]

no, all italians are not poor. But in their country, incomes do not match the cost of living. Thats why 60% of children between 18-35 live at home. I believe that is where the term "mammas boy" also originated.

 

Each country has acceptable norms. Wearing a halter top is ok in miami. It is not ok in riyadh, saudi arabia. 30 people living in one house is ok in new delhi, but i believe it would be against city ordinances in atlanta, ga. Women can't drive in many nations. They can drive here.

 

I am german. We all tend to move out early. Our parents raise us as strong men and women, and we can fend for ourselves easily. The idea of sacrificing life experience to save money is silly. The parents typically do not center their entire lives around kids, as they have their own lives they like to live in peace.

 

Through my experiences, children in the usa that live at home until 35- 40 are not normal, ambitious, strong, or self sufficient. They are not doing it to help their parents financially. They are not doing it because it is socially accepted and well respected as in poor parts of china and india. They suck off their parents. They never grow up. The parents are also co dependent, and allow this behavior.

 

Go to brazil and ask a girl if she likes living at home until marriage. They hate it. But they don't have a choice.

 

but not eevryone who lives at home mooches off their parents though!

[Art_Critic]

someone who doesn't get an education and moves out, IMO, is more "pathetic" that someone who goes to college and then lives at home.

 

Not going to college and moving out isn't pathetic in the least little bit.. education has nothing to do with being pathetic..

I think maybe you are using the wrong word.

[lovestruck818]

Not going to college and moving out isn't pathetic in the least little bit.. education has nothing to do with being pathetic..

I think maybe you are using the wrong word.

 

but I would like to hear one good excuse, one good reason why people don't go & get college-educated these days. If it's financial reasons, that's bologna- you can get aid or take out a loan. If it's b/c someone doesn't like it- too f'n bad, there is a lot of stuff in life we aren't going to like. If it's b/c of it's hard, boo-frickity-hoo...the challenges in life are what makes one a stronger person. Not going to college to me just pathetic and stupid.

[Art_Critic]

but I would like to hear one good excuse, one good reason why people don't go & get college-educated these days. If it's financial reasons, that's bologna- you can get aid or take out a loan. If it's b/c someone doesn't like it- too f'n bad, there is a lot of stuff in life we aren't going to like. If it's b/c of it's hard, boo-frickity-hoo...the challenges in life are what makes one a stronger person. Not going to college to me just pathetic and stupid.

 

I didn't go to college... I'm a pretty good guy... I put a lot of food on quite a few peoples plates as well as their families plates..

I also do good work and some of that good work has made a mark in society today..

 

So...I'm not pathetic because I didn't go to college..

If I'm pathetic it would be for another reason other than working my ass off for up to 120 hours a week trying to make a difference

 

You sound like you have no idea how the world works outside of your little universe of LI..

[vonerik012]

Lovestruck...

 

I went to college and have a degree. So i am not being defensive.

 

However, for millions, the entire "get a degree" thing is a money making scam.

 

There is little regulation. Schools can turn out 1 million accounting majors a year, knowing there will only be 50,000 job openings. So then suckers are left paying off school debt, without a job.

 

You are a sales girl. Did you really need a degree? Many successful stockbrokers never even went to college, and they make much more money than you.

 

We can all view whomever we want as "pathetic".

 

I view people who live at home until 35 or 40 as pathetic. You view people who did not graduate college as pathetic. I think you said your boyfriend lives at home, doesn't work, and doesn't drive or pay on dates, and he has school loans to pay off. Thats pathetic.

 

I view chronic pot smokers as pathetic, although their friends might not.

 

If you actually had to struggle to make it on your own, you have little respect for people living with mommy and daddy forever.

[Art_Critic]

You are a sales girl. Did you really need a degree? Many successful stockbrokers never even went to college, and they make much more money than you.

 

I wonder how many of her customers or people that buy what she sells have been to college ?..

No all.. that is for sure..

See lives today partially on pathetic people.. Those same pathetic people help pay for her mortgage, they help her pay for her car and lifestyle...

 

They put money in her pockets but she calls them pathetic and stupid.....

[Cherry Blossom 35]

but I would like to hear one good excuse, one good reason why people don't go & get college-educated these days. If it's financial reasons, that's bologna- you can get aid or take out a loan. If it's b/c someone doesn't like it- too f'n bad, there is a lot of stuff in life we aren't going to like. If it's b/c of it's hard, boo-frickity-hoo...the challenges in life are what makes one a stronger person. Not going to college to me just pathetic and stupid.

 

That's a pretty short-sighted view, Lovestruck. There are many people who don't go to college and manage to create productive lives for themselves and their families. So if Person A doesn't go to college, but works to put food on the table, saves money for a rainy day, and devotes their time to volunteering in the community pathetic? By your definition, they would be.