ianandris Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Well, I'm closing in on the 3rd month of no contact. I've got AT (annual training. I'm in the Guard) coming up the end of this week, and that runs through to the end of August. She still hasn't made any effort to contact me. I'm holding my ground. Though, if there ever was anything that needed to be said through NC, I'm pretty sure it's been said. I didn't crawl back to her once. It was a clean break. I can say without hesitation, without reservation, that I'm over her one hundred percent. The thought of her with someone else doesn't even register on my emotional richter scale. Funny thing, she hasn't been on myspace or facebook since June. Noone in the area has seen her around, heard from her at all. It's odd. Like once she dropped out of my life, she dropped out of everyone else's lives, too. I'm torn between being glad I haven't had to deal with her and being a little worried. It's a strange thing, to just drop off the face of the earth. The plan is to go ahead and break NC once I get back from AT, just see if she's still around. Plus, I still want my movies . Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Ian, you rock! Good to "see" you again. It's true that once you can imagine them f*cking somebody else, and it don't bother you - you're over them! Enjoy AT. -k Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 The plan is to go ahead and break NC once I get back from AT, just see if she's still around. Plus, I still want my movies . Why would you want to after three months? I mean you have gone so long with NC... I sometimes think about doing this, but IN my mind is that I am holding strong and the ONLY person that will break the contact is her. I guess I sort of did this week by sending an anonymous poem that described our relationship to a Tee. I had it sent from another state. All you know is she could have become fish food. Think hard before contacting her and if you are truly over her I can see your reason (s) for contacting her. Link to post Share on other sites
tealeafbud Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 i agree with ioncebelieved that you should reconsider "breaking NC". You can replace the movies and if you talk to her, you'll set yourself back from your own personal healing. Trust me on this. I know. I don't think anyone plans on breaking NC. I think it just happens. In your case, I would just move on and forget about her. Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 i agree with ioncebelieved that you should reconsider "breaking NC". You can replace the movies and if you talk to her, you'll set yourself back from your own personal healing. Trust me on this. I know. I don't think anyone plans on breaking NC. I think it just happens. In your case, I would just move on and forget about her. Thanks Tea! It is extremely difficult staying away and not contacting the ex!!!! I still think about it every so often, but I have come to far to screw up now and Monday it will be 6 weeks. If they really wanted to speak to us, NOTHING would stop them from doing just that. Hang tough and if you break it be prepared. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ianandris Posted August 8, 2008 Author Share Posted August 8, 2008 Well, I can see where you're coming from. If there are any feelings left at all contact with her will dredge them all right back up, and that's not healthy. BUT, I honestly feel like I'm completely over her. The movies, tbh, not a huge deal, but enough of a deal. I'm a poor college student, she's got my entire collection, and I want it back (All 3 seasons of Arrested Development and about 5 other movies. Not a huge collection, I know, but still. That represents a couple hundered dollars or so and I'm living off the GI bill, tuition assistance, and the Pell grant. Not a whole lot of discretionary funding in my budget.). I want to be in that spot where it honestly wouldn't matter if I ran into her at the mall or if she was hanging around in a mutual group of friends. I hate the idea of having to avoid normal activities because I might have contact with her. That doesn't seem healthy to me, and, to be frank, it seems like behavior of that sort would actually delay the healing process by revisiting the gaping wound left by her absence. If that wound is closed, if I've healed, what would it matter if she were making out with her new boyfriend in front of my face? I wouldn't care. Accepting that there isn't anything there demands action in the same vein. If there's nothing there, then there's no reason not to collect my movies. If there is something there, something to avoid, then I'm better off leaving it all there and forgetting about her. Plus, once I get them back, I'll have no reason ever to think about her again. Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted August 8, 2008 Share Posted August 8, 2008 Well, I can see where you're coming from. If there are any feelings left at all contact with her will dredge them all right back up, and that's not healthy. BUT, I honestly feel like I'm completely over her. The movies, tbh, not a huge deal, but enough of a deal. I'm a poor college student, she's got my entire collection, and I want it back (All 3 seasons of Arrested Development and about 5 other movies. Not a huge collection, I know, but still. That represents a couple hundered dollars or so and I'm living off the GI bill, tuition assistance, and the Pell grant. Not a whole lot of discretionary funding in my budget.). I want to be in that spot where it honestly wouldn't matter if I ran into her at the mall or if she was hanging around in a mutual group of friends. I hate the idea of having to avoid normal activities because I might have contact with her. That doesn't seem healthy to me, and, to be frank, it seems like behavior of that sort would actually delay the healing process by revisiting the gaping wound left by her absence. If that wound is closed, if I've healed, what would it matter if she were making out with her new boyfriend in front of my face? I wouldn't care. Accepting that there isn't anything there demands action in the same vein. If there's nothing there, then there's no reason not to collect my movies. If there is something there, something to avoid, then I'm better off leaving it all there and forgetting about her. Plus, once I get them back, I'll have no reason ever to think about her again. Think about this for a moment: I was in a LDR with my ex and it was over 360 miles one way. I gave her a watch that I LOVED!!!! It was to hold for me to come back and get when I wanted and the watch represented much more than that. It stood for our time together. Last year after her having the watch for months we hit a huge bump in the road and she sent it back in the mail. I always wanted to get the watch from her in person. We didn't talk for 3 weeks and repaired things. I have only worn the watch one time since she sent it back and I wore when I was up seeing her. I said all that to say this: Man, I cannot bring myself to wear that watch I loved so much because it hurt getting it back from her!!! I really loved that watch and wish she would have kept it! Dude, forget those items because it will be a painful reminder of who had them!! Make sense??? Did I mention that was my favorite watch??????? The overall value of your DVDs are probably just a bit more, but the sentimental value my watch stood far outweighs the value of your DVDs. Do what you want, but mark my words if you get them back and feel no gut punch, I will buy you some more DVDs!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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