Reflections of the Cheating EX

[BackonTrack]

I first came on these forums about 5 months ago with a broken heart.

It was worst than that, I had a broken heart, a messed up mind & no real way to cope.

 

My was having an affair with another man, she used all these weird justifications for her actions it was mind boggling. She even blamed me for everything.

 

The sad part about this entire thing is once he went inside of her, she kept seeing him, even fell in love with him, more so than me. I never would of expected this behavior from her, she sure fooled me.

 

Eitherway I went away for about 2 months & I suppose she knew what she was doing was wrong so she had to choose one someone, she choose him.

 

As time passed & I return home, I notice a startling change in her behavior, it appears in her mind she had moved on and we were no longer together. As time passed, I believe she fell in love with this man, she wouldn't come over & would be very confused.

 

She decieded to stay away from me, for what reason I do not know, I believe now it was because she still loved me and knew we would end up having sex, however me being the fool, I thought we were still in a relationship, I had no idea she was with someone else, actually I suspected but those supicious went away. I only say good in her.

 

I went away one more time and upon my return, things were very bad.

She did not pick up the phone, would not come see me, I grew fed up and decieded to break up with her, & she came running.

 

Once she came, I stripped her naked & asked if she was my baby and she replied "Yes", I cannot forget that, despite it all she was still in love with me. No sex though, she had to maintain self-respect, she couldn't be a whore but whatever.

 

Eventually, I found out about the affair through her best friend, the same bestfriend who despied me, whom I only seen twice in my life. That was the end for us.

 

The breakup lasted about 1 month and after about 2 weeks I noticed she wasn't coming back she I just ended it all. I eventually went mad about 3 weeks later, called the girl, drove by the girl house & email the girl stating I was sorry.

 

Boy was my mind messed up, eitherway its been about 4 months of NC since then and I'm doing better. I don't even miss her anymore or tear when I think about us. Its like its someone from my past whom I onced love but it didn't work out between us.

 

I honestly don't know what to make of my EX girlfriend, for a short time she loved me unconditionally, did anything for me, but something happen (her ****ing the OM) and she started to change. She grew confident, bold, on top of the world, in hindsight though, I think she was just confused.

 

Her confusion and betrayel caused the demise of our relationship, but the sad part is, I don't think she valued what we had. She threw it away just like that. I don't know if my ex was a whore or not. I don't know if my ex is a bad person or not. What I do know is she lied to me for months and blamed me for everything. I suppose its easier to blame someone else than to take responsiability for one's actions or to take a good hard look in the mirror.

 

So 5 months later, I am a new man, more sensative now, more mindful of females emmotions, a kinder person. I no longer have the mentaility that I am untouchable or on top of the world, I am ordinary, just like everyone else. She tore my world down & I had to rebuild myself and the person you see her is what came out of this experience.

 

That girl, I don't know what to say about her now, something happen to her, atleast in the way in which she treated me. I think for a time I was a doormat. I think for a time I became a doormat.

[orangesean]

This is not really informative. You were not the cheater and you are reflecting for her. You don't really say why your relationship was so conflicted, but this girl sounds toxic and maybe a little bit childish.

 

You also have dependency problems to continously come back to someone who has purposefully distant, multiple times, even!

[stolenheart123]

The person we once knew sometimes leaves the relationship a long time before we choose to notice. There were signs but we all make excuses for the person we love. Thats why love is so powerful. I hope you are in a better place now. To be cheated on hurts so much, but there is a reason why all things happen, and since you've grown from the experience then something good came of it.

[BackonTrack]

This is not really informative. You were not the cheater and you are reflecting for her. You don't really say why your relationship was so conflicted, but this girl sounds toxic and maybe a little bit childish.

 

You also have dependency problems to continously come back to someone who has purposefully distant, multiple times, even!

 

The truth of the matter is, I don't know why the relationship was so conflicted. I think its because my EX didn't know where she stood with me, actually she knew, she just confused herself.

 

I had no problems in the relationship, my ex appears to have grown unhappy, why I honestly don't know. There could be a whole lot of reasons, but I will never know.

 

Her main excuse for cheating was she wasn't sure if she was my GF.

Her reason for not stopping ranges from

 

"I felt so uncomfortable in your house" too

"I knew what I was doing was wrong but I just decided to let the cards fly where they may"

 

When the honest truth of the matter was, she liked the guy, then she liked ****ing the guy. Probably liked it more than ****ing me, explains why she choose him. I don't know. That girl is weird.

[nopainnogain]

 

once she came, i stripped her naked & asked if she was my baby and she replied "yes".

 

 

.....lol... ...

[WiseOne1]

Once she came, I stripped her naked & asked if she was my baby and she replied "Yes"quote]

 

Dude^^ Thats a classic line, you are the man.

 

This is really sad and confusing, its very confusing and mind bottling, on how someone can say they love you and tell you how much they love you, and go and cheat.

 

It sounded at one time you guys were really in love with eachother. If she did throw you 2 away for sex thats a shame, but it also seems you and her had some sexual chemistry, so I doubt that the other guy was so better in bed than you.

 

It seems like maybe the attention from the other guy gave her a ego boost, made her feel untouchable, she became a diffrent person. But everyone comes off the high at some time, and when she does its gonna be your choice if you wanna be there.

 

I wish you good luck

[nowhereman82]

LOL @ the baby line.

 

Sorry, but classic like someone else said. Sorry she was a whore. Stay in there Dump it here, NC

[BackonTrack]

Ok well my personal reflection.

 

I've started another relationship recently. I noticed that I never really communicated with my ex in advance to make pre-arranged plans with her. I usually just called her & expected her to come at my every beckon call (she used that line when breaking up with me)

 

She did it for a while too, about 9 months, she was always there.

She stop doing it once she started ****ing someone else.

 

I guess she was a whore I guess deep within I always knew she was a premicious female, even though she played the "good-girl" routine to a TEE.

 

I don't even know why I am updating this forum, its like talking about an car accident that happen 5 years ago. I feel funny even still talking about it, it was so long ago.

 

I don't know what went wrong, actually it was a whole lot of things, minor things that festered along during the course of our relationship and only came to light once the "in-love" phase was worn out.

 

We had lots of things in common, just we were both young, she was subserviante to me for a time, I used her for sex and company & gave her food. I even stoped talking to her but she stayed. She stayed anyway.

 

Sooner or late, I think she wanted more, but it was never clearly put to me like

"listen you have to start doing this, that, this & that or i'm leaving"

 

it was more like

"BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!"

 

and my response typically would be

"why are you so angry" lol,

 

I've been playing victium allot, I don't know if my girl was awhore or not, she was just young, I won't bad mouth her. For a time she gave me her ALL, I used that all to have sex with her & go to the movies & eat food.

 

So for about 6 months, I was away for about 3-4 months, at different periods in time, during my away trips, she started datting someone.

 

On one of my away trips, I had a one night stand, actually I had sex with the girl 2 times. My second time, the condom broke & remember thinking to myself "God only gives you one chance", anyways I came back & started having sex with my girl using condoms.

 

I think it took her about 3 weeks, to figure out that I had cheated on her, and I remember one day she came over and was like "Let me give you a blow job", I was like OK SURE. So she goes down, looks all confident like she knows what she's doing & then I remember telling her "who have you been praticing with", so she looks at me with a look like "I can't believe you would say that" but in hindsight, i am 100% sure she was sucking this OM cock in an effort to please me, hence her respond when I did not climax "I cannot please you" then look sad.

 

I remember telling her "its ok baby, let me show you"

 

I didn't know she wanted to learn, I was going to show her these things in TIME, but sex wasn't that important at this point in time at our relationship.

 

Anyway, after this, my girl started trying again, why I don't know.

I was never going to leave her, I don't think she knew that though.

 

Eventually she started to get confused as to weather I loved her or not, at the same time she started having sex with the OM. At the same time she was changing, I ignored it, kept it moving. During this time, I don't think she was unhappy, I just think she wanted more & didn't know how to get it, became frustrated. During this time, I kept getting the vibe she was going to leave me, she called me one day when I was away, I knew she was said, I knew what she wanted, she wanted me to tell her she was my GF. I didn't hung up the phone, figured it was over.

 

SO i came back, she was still there, I thought I was safe, but in reality, she had made the decision in her mind to end things, still came around though, why i do not know.

 

Eventually she stop coming around, I didn't look to much into it, "i can go get her whenever I want, she's not going anywhere" but as time passed I realized that she was leaving me.

 

Anyway, I started to mature, I got my own place, I was starting a new life and I decieded I was going to do right by her, she stuck around for so long. At the same time, I was getting frustrated, broke up with her & she came running, at 4am in the morning.

 

I think she was keeping me on a string, while she contiuned exploring, at the same time, she was still in love with me, mainly because when I saw her, I striped her naked and asked if she was my baby, she said yes, then i began playing with her & it was just like old times. This lasted about 1-2 hours. Eventually though, that feeling went away, so strange that I felt it go away, then she began playing games with me, that night I told her don't call me again.

 

So I invite her over, she's coming back to me now, maybe I am the person she always thought I would be?? But the bestfriend told me my ex moved on and I remember thinking to myself "how the hell did she move on when she's upstairs at my house right now & we just had sex 3 days ago"

 

Anyways, once things came to the surface I broke up with my ex, she put on a good front, and tried to defend herself, acted as if she had options and if contiuned questioning her, she would leave, so I told her to shut the **** up, and get out, then broke up with her on 3 separate occasions.

 

Eventually she decieded she didn't want back, and now began to dismiss me politely. So I'm thinking to myself who the hell she think she is, she better answer my questions, so I called her up, she actually stood up for herself, It was suprising. I was like "Go baby" in my head, oh my god I want you more!!!.

 

Anyway, one day she told me she needed space, she really didn't mean it, I knew she didn't mean it but I was messed up emmotionally, I wanted to spite her, so I fired her and told her to have a nice day + I was looking for a reason to get rid of her, I thought I had, but she tricked me into calling her, she got to me and made me lower my guard.

 

about 1 week later, I called her, broke down, told her lets work it out.

She told me off.

 

Other stuff happen ie me going mad, me sending her crazy emails (2) after she told me we have no future together.

 

Haven't heard from her in 5 months. Eitherway, during the course of our relationship, despite what I wrote her, I was nice to her, but I think I put her on a pedistol, I am not sure if I did that or not, I think I did that.

 

I never really got to know the real her, our relationshp never matured, partly because I saw no future with her, I just wanted to use her for the time being and have sex with her + she didn't have a life. Eventually though, I realized I couldn't leave her and I remember thinking to myself "I can't leave you now, your going to have to break up with me"

 

I didn't know what life was really about, actually I knew, I don't know what I am talking about, but as I am writing this, I am realizing that I am thinking about what I could of done, or what I should of done etc etc, but in reality, I didn't do anything wrong or so wrong.

 

The one thing I should of did was once I got back, got my testing status taken care of the next day, the other thing I regret was driving by her house and calling her telling her to break up with me in person.

 

Those are really the two damaging points I did during our relationship.

PS, I was clean.

 

Everything else, I don't feel bad about, I was only nice to that girl, but whats funny is how the tables turned during our relationship, she was madly in love with me, then i became madly in love with her, all the time she's ****ing two men, playing me like a fool and stringing me allong.

 

and like a sad puppy, I took the bones off her plate, well thats not entirely true but that was my situtation until I actually got the material things to back-up all the trash I've been talking during the course of our relationship, actually tahts not true, I don't really think my ex cared about that.

 

I think in all honesty, my ex ****ed the OM, felt bad, but kept doing it, she was exploring, all the while I'm doing my own thing, not really worry about her as long as I was having sex, trying to gain some money & in the back of my mind, I'm thinking to myself I have to get some money so I can live a better life, and I have to take care of my EX.

 

Early on I realized, she listen to me TOOO much, I was changing her preception on lifle, so much so that I had to be careful how I talked to people, be careful how I interacted with people, everything she was experiecing with me was all NEW to her, it was all NEW, she lived a sheleted life, I showed her the real world.

 

In the end though, my ex wanted me to be real with her, I tried to in the begining, but she couldn't handle it. Later on though, looks like she was ready, our relationship never got a chance to mature.

 

So how can I sum up my EX?????

She was one very confused girl. In the end though, she wasn't confused anymore, told me to **** off.

 

At the same time, I think I was a learning experience for her, I am not even mad at her, she stuck with me for a while and she didn't know nothing. After a while though she learned, used everything I thought her on someone else and made a better relationship than what we had, actually I don't know if that is true but it has to be, I'm using everything I learned on my new relationshp now. Its like she took ALL my experienced, and improved on herself, took that knowledge, went exploring, then decieded to come back.

 

All the time, everything was pretty hidden, she was lieing to her friend, parents, mother, father, sister, everyone, me. I think the only one she didn't lie to was the OM. Actually she lied to him too, as I was still ****ing her, not often, once in a while.

 

Damn, those don't sound like the characteristics of a good partner, but its the truth. I find it hard sometimes to accept thats how she is but thats how she is.

 

As for me, I handled my relationship pretty good, except I never before been in a situtation when a female allows two people inside of her at the same time, so her actions were completely illogical in my simple minded brain.

 

My ex was so confused, she confused me. Sometimes I want to text her to see if she will respond, to see if I can hit it again, to see if she would spend the night with me again.

 

I don't think she would, I don't know, we didn't end on a good note + I went mad & our bond wasn't that strong, actually it was but she wanted out, fooled me into letting her go too.

 

She also had something to prove to me, she wanted to prove that my words didn't affect her, she wanted me to respect her, she wanted to still be in my life, but I said **** that, get out now!!, then she tricked me into calling her, then I told her **** that get out again!!, then I told her to come back & she did, then I told her to **** that get out!!!!, and she did & I told her to come back, this time she told me to **** off, I went mad.

 

So who was at fault? I don't know, I know **** started to get ****ed up once the OM got in the picture, atleast in my eyes. Maybe it got ****ed up because she realized I cheated on her, then again she had sex with her ex while I was away, so I figured we were even. I don't think she thought he counted though.

 

I don't know man, I don't know anything.

 

On one hand, I think my ex wanted to break up prior to things (she did say this)

Then she went exploring, liked it, continued it for a few months. I hadn't notice, I was busy traveling.

 

So once I got everything, who did I come back to me? The person in my heart, my EX, but I found out certain information, I had no choice but to end things off principle but my heart couldn't do it. Made me keep telling her to come back.

 

I don't know, she's confusing, one hand she wanted to break up, one hand she didn't, on one hand she loved me, on the other she was angry with me, meanwhile, this whore is ****ing & sucking someone else. I don't think she knew what she wanted.

 

Its like she was waiting on me to do what I wanted to do with her, even in the end, she gave me that option, its like she put everything in my hands, I told her to **** off, then I realized I loved her and put the power back in her hands, she told me to **** off.

 

At the end of the day, my ex was one of those ambitious females, all I had to do was **** her two good times & she'll shut up. That OM knocked away all my hard work in keeping her on a leash until I was ready for her.

 

So 1.4 years later, I am ready to take it to the next level, 60,000 in the bank. New life experiences, I know what I want, lets do it but I found out certain information. Never got a chance to take it to the other level at the same time my ex was not cheating, she was having a full-blown relationship.

 

That damn whore, she should of broke up with me before she started dating this other dude.

 

All I know is, that whore cheated on me.

Thats all I know.

[nopainnogain]

OMG. Our stories are so similar. Especially the BJ part. Like for 4 years she didnt know much then all of a sudden she started blowing like a porn star lol.

 

I love the title of this thread BTW

[BackonTrack]

LOL, I mean, I can't really blame her. She wanted to learn, she should of asked me. Sucking cock comes in handy for females, I suppose she'll learn that lesson later on in life.

 

She's still learning, she's not yet defined, she's young, she's not whole.

I didn't really want to whore her out, I could of, I didn't want her to have to go through that.

 

Females only want to settle once someone treats them really bad, then they know what a good dude is, she doesn't know anything, she hasn't been punched in the face, kicked out a car, nothing, she's fresh out the starting gate.

 

I took her, showed her about life, had no intentions of staying with her, treated her nice, thought her what I knew, then I chilled for about 1 year, got my **** together, realized I loved her, realized I wanted to do right by her, was going to step it up a notch, advance her, get her a vechile, put her on salary, go on vacations together, probably even would of bought her a new wardrobe, after all she deserved it, she was with me for so long.

 

 

OH well, her lost, I have to find another.

[WiseOne1]

LOL, I mean, I can't really blame her. She wanted to learn, she should of asked me. Sucking cock comes in handy for females, I suppose she'll learn that lesson later on in life.

 

Someone had to teach her, I thought my ex what I knew, she took it, threw me away, found someone else.

 

She's still learning, she's not yet defined, she's young, she's not whole.

She's like a teenager at 21.

 

It will be a couple years before she matures and realizes she ****ed up.

But damn she's so stupid, I would of advanced her career, her life, fast tracked her, but oh well, she has to do it on her own now.

 

Lol, see all you have to learn to say is " Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.

Girl how you shake it, got a dude like (ohhhh) It's a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera ,All I wanna know is, sexy can I.

 

Anyways, it seems like you and your ex shared some pretty intense times, some of them should be put in the next "American Pie: movie. Lol....

 

But dude with the money and the 2 other females you seem like a Don. You were handling things.

[nopainnogain]

Sweat a broad. I keep em perspirin..shes admirin,I do the firin and hirin.....

 

Id like to recommend a song for you....not sure if rap is your cup of tea but go to youtube and search "brotha lynch lose a hoe gain a hoe"

[WiseOne1]

Sweat a broad. I keep em perspirin..shes admirin,I do the firin and hirin.....

 

Id like to recommend a song for you....not sure if rap is your cup of tea but go to youtube and search "brotha lynch lose a hoe gain a hoe"

 

Lol Dude, i got a better song. Ray J, Sexy Can I.

 

Thats my Orlando, Miami, Chicago, LA theme, the women respect that song.

[BackonTrack]

Lol, see all you have to learn to say is " Sexy can I, just pardon my manners.

Girl how you shake it, got a dude like (ohhhh) It's a kodak moment, let me go and get my camera ,All I wanna know is, sexy can I.

 

Anyways, it seems like you and your ex shared some pretty intense times, some of them should be put in the next "American Pie: movie. Lol....

 

But dude with the money and the 2 other females you seem like a Don. You were handling things.

 

LOL wiseone your funny bro.

 

I think I'm over rating this whole thing, it was my first relationship, I have nothing to compare it too, maybe I didn't do anything in reality with my ex to deem it intense, I have no idea, U read my story, U seem to have good advise, I don't know, I don't know anything bro, all I know is

 

She cheated and left.

Thats all I know, everything else was either a lie or I imagined our relationship. Because the way I was feeling, I would never in life had left her, she obviously didn't feel the same way.

[nopainnogain]

Good song wise one but it has nothing to do about a cheating EX:confused:

[nopainnogain]

My ex and I met at del taco back in the day when I was 21 and she 18 a senior in high school. Barely new each other for a week and went out. I brought her home late and her parents kicked her out. We had sex so I coulda kicked her to the curb but I saw potential in her.

 

I took her in and we lived together 5 years. I taught her a whole lot. as well as she taught me. However she taught me the evil side where as I taught her to get ahead in life. I mean,My sis got her a great job at disney studios.

 

After she started foolin with my best homey behind my back 4 years in the tables turned. And I took her back and she ended up giving her coworker head.

[WiseOne1]

LOL wiseone your funny bro.

 

I think I'm over rating this whole thing, it was my first relationship, I have nothing to compare it too, maybe I didn't do anything in reality with my ex to deem it intense, I have no idea, U read my story, U seem to have good advise, I don't know, I don't know anything bro, all I know is

 

She cheated and left.

Thats all I know, everything else was either a lie or I imagined our relationship. Because the way I was feeling, I would never in life had left her, she obviously didn't feel the same way.

 

Yea you have nothing to compare it to. My first GF ever "First Love" Crushed me, and I think the reason im taking this breakup so good, because i've been in love before so I felt the pain..

 

My first love really hurt me, I couldnt have took counseling, it took me 1 year and 2 months to get over her, and I really did some stupid things to try getting her back, I use to cry like a little bitch everynight, and not once, not once!! Did my heart rate ever drop, my heart was beating like I was on drugs for that whole 1 year and 2 months. Painfull experience.

 

Once you get another experience you can compare, and If you end up getting hurt again one hurt is gonna make the last one feel like a bee sting.

 

Sometimes I think I never loved my current ex, because I wasnt terribly hurt, I didnt react like I did with my first ex. Im sure I loved my current ex way more than I loved my past ex.

 

Dude may I say, you just lost your relationship virginty, your gonna find a girl that your gonna love wayyy more than her.

[WiseOne1]

My ex and I met at del taco back in the day when I was 21 and she 18 a senior in high school. Barely new each other for a week and went out. I brought her home late and her parents kicked her out. We had sex so I coulda kicked her to the curb but I saw potential in her.

 

I took her in and we lived together 5 years. I taught her a whole lot. as well as she taught me. However she taught me the evil side where as I taught her to get ahead in life. I mean,My sis got her a great job at disney studios.

 

After she started foolin with my best homey behind my back 4 years in the tables turned. And I took her back and she ended up giving her coworker head.

 

Dude thats messed up.

 

Whoa, thats messed up.

[nopainnogain]

Thats just a little bit.

 

-She also crashed my car.(1982 pontiac trans am metallic blue on TT2s)

-Before she crashed it she scratched,dented(accident),kicked,and broke my windshield

 

- Would take her out ,treat her great then when we get home she would fall asleep

-in the closet alcholic(didnt find out till the end)

-threw pizza at me

-slapped me for the passenger seat being moved when she got in the car(thought i had chicks in there,jelous:confused:)

-verbally abused me

-lie over BS....

[WiseOne1]

Thats just a little bit.

 

-She also crashed my car.(1982 pontiac trans am metallic blue on TT2s)

-Before she crashed it she scratched,dented(accident),kicked,and broke my windshield

 

- Would take her out ,treat her great then when we get home she would fall asleep

-in the closet alcholic(didnt find out till the end)

-threw pizza at me

-slapped me for the passenger seat being moved when she got in the car(thought i had chicks in there,jelous:confused:)

-verbally abused me

-lie over BS....

 

Lol at the passenger sear thing. LMAO

 

So dude the night you had her out late, did you have sex with her that night?

[BackonTrack]

Anyways, it seems like you and your ex shared some pretty intense times, some of them should be put in the next "American Pie: movie. Lol....

 

But dude with the money and the 2 other females you seem like a Don. You were handling things.

 

WiseOne1, bro your 18 turning 19.

You know it doesn't matter about money and the 3 other females.

Yeah money comes in handy, gives you more option, you can go places together, live a better life, create more experience to enhance your personal growth, with the 3 other females, well to be honest with you, they might of well been invisible to me.

 

I wasn't ready to begin a relationship, I mean I could of, but when I was with them, all I did was hang out, have sex, then go in my living room, look out my window & think about my ex.

 

2 of them hates me (I was using them for sex), one of them got fed up with me, she wanted me for like 2 years & I treated like crap, she was a real women, mature in everyway, she wouldn't take my **** + she had options.

 

I realized I had to take time out for myself before I damage any futhure relationship, took me about 4 girls I've messed up on before I realized it.

 

Of the 3, I have one left, the one I have left, wanted me for 8 years, she's helping me get over my recent EX, she helped allot, but I know I can't love her, I think I am going to end up hurting her.

 

The funny thing is, I don't think she's going to show me that she's hurt, my ex tried to hide it, she did a good job too until the end, I tried to hide it as well, but after a while I didn't care, she knows how ****ed up I was.

 

In hindsight though, in the future, can't let them see you sweat. Thats one thing I learned.

[nopainnogain]

Yes ,with no rubber either. That shoulda been a red flag lol.

 

She played the innocent girl pretty good for 4 years or so until crap hit the fan.

 

looking back I also remember she said she always wanted to be a spy. That explains her being so sneaky.

 

There is so many more crazy stories but im trying to put it all behind me.

[nopainnogain]

WiseOne1, bro your 18 turning 19.

You know it doesn't matter about money and the 3 other females.

Yeah money comes in handy, gives you more option, you can go places together, live a better life, create more experience to enhance your personal growth, with the 3 other females, well to be honest with you, they might of well been invisible to me.

 

.

 

Scarface- "first comes the money ,then comes the power ,then the pu$$y":D

 

I had it all backwards arghhh

[nopainnogain]

 

In hindsight though, in the future, can't let them see you sweat. Thats one thing I learned.

 

 

thats for sure.

[WiseOne1]

WiseOne1, bro your 18 turning 19.

You know it doesn't matter about money and the 3 other females.

Yeah money comes in handy, gives you more option, you can go places together, live a better life, create more experience to enhance your personal growth, with the 3 other females, well to be honest with you, they might of well been invisible to me.

 

I wasn't ready to begin a relationship, I mean I could of, but when I was with them, all I did was hang out, have sex, then go in my living room, look out my window & think about my ex.

 

2 of them hates me (I was using them for sex), one of them got fed up with me, she wanted me for like 2 years & I treated like crap, she was a real women, mature in everyway, she wouldn't take my **** + she had options.

 

I realized I had to take time out for myself before I damage any futhure relationship, took me about 4 girls I've messed up on before I realized it.

 

Of the 3, I have one left, the one I have left, wanted me for 8 years, she's helping me get over my recent EX, she helped allot, but I know I can't love her, I think I am going to end up hurting her.

 

The funny thing is, I don't think she's going to show me that she's hurt, my ex tried to hide it, she did a good job too until the end, I tried to hide it as well, but after a while I didn't care, she knows how ****ed up I was.

 

In hindsight though, in the future, can't let them see you sweat. Thats one thing I learned.

 

Your right, HBK, The Heart Break Kid, is in his prime, turning 19 next month. Im wondering if I should visit my ex on my b-day, I dunno.

 

But your day will come, So what do you think about your current relationship?