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a smack in the face


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I am 26yo with two young children - 5 and 2. My husband and I have been married for almost two years, and together a total of 7. He just told me yesterday that he is not happy. He wants to be friends, he wants me to still go to his cousin's wedding, and he still wants to come to my sister's. I am no angel and we have talked about splitting before, but now it is a reality. I love him, and I regret ever taking him and our relationship for granted. He will not be completely straight with me about how he feels. It is almost as if he is pretending like nothing was ever said yesterday. I just want to know where this is going. I need to grieve if necessary. He wants to meet me and my son for dinner. He also still wants to celebrate our two year anniversary. Is this just a cop out? Why won't he just tell me what he wants to do?

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May be too difficult to tell you the truth - or he just doesn't know - or is confused - or is pulled in two directions.

 

Confronting him on the issue may just have him re-coil back or send him packing.

 

Instead - I would suggest that you be happy, loving, affectionate and supportive of him during this period... Such attention could snap him out of it... or have him re-think his mind.

 

See if his behavior and attitude change from your subtle changes.

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That seems to be the one piece of advice that everyone is giving me.

I just don't know if he is testing me. I mean it is very well possible that he has been thinking about this for a while, and he had time to grieve his loss, no?

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I wouldn't spend too much energy speculating (if possible). the truth may come out later.

 

I think all marriages have times where one or both spouses are not happy. If you truly love your H and want to try to snap him out of it - show him your love and affection.

 

Get a babysitter and go on a romantic date with your H.

 

H may be overwhelmed with the kids, with work, anything.

 

Do something different and liven it up a little. See if that changes his attitude.

 

You have 2 kids and been together for 7 years - sometimes things get boring. There is too much at stake to just sit back and see what happens - or to be confrontational and push it into something worse...

 

... Today could be the turning point to a better marriage.

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