Overly Jealous.... :(

[LittleWingedOne]

before my boy and I started dating we worked together, had a few encounters and then stopped talking because of an incident (nothing to mention though). that summer he got together with this other girl we worked with and never did anything together but some kissing. we're dating now but i still get upset about her because of a journal entry where he described how happy he was to see her and that she was the most beautiful person he ever met.

now he's back at the store i work at for the night and will be working with her in small spaces for hours. i know he'll never do anything but the thought of them kissing and then the journal... it makes me sick. i dont know why.. im a jealous person sometimes but this is harder.. i feel like a stupid teenager

 

am i crazy? heh (ps: he told me to read the journal, im no snoop)

[Gzus]

That really sucks, girl. I'm madly in love with my wife, but if I worked real close to a girl I'd crushed on before, I'd probably be flirting pretty seriously. Im a guy. But I would never cheat. Maybe he won't either, as you said. Either way, good luck to you. Don't let it eat you up and sure as hell don't sit around at home thinking about what he could be doing- youll drive yourself crazy and your mind will play tricks on you.

[Gzus]

uh, how you doin today, winged one?

[vertigocidic]

I say just go out and find yourself a new man. It is such a waste for someone as beautiful as you to be heartbroken for a silly boy.

[Grrlish]

before my boy and I started dating we worked together, had a few encounters and then stopped talking because of an incident (nothing to mention though). that summer he got together with this other girl we worked with and never did anything together but some kissing. we're dating now but i still get upset about her because of a journal entry where he described how happy he was to see her and that she was the most beautiful person he ever met.

now he's back at the store i work at for the night and will be working with her in small spaces for hours. i know he'll never do anything but the thought of them kissing and then the journal... it makes me sick. i dont know why.. im a jealous person sometimes but this is harder.. i feel like a stupid teenager

 

am i crazy? heh (ps: he told me to read the journal, im no snoop)

 

LWO, it sounds as if you trust him because you said "i know he'll never do anything " so try to build on that.

 

You chose to get together with him, knowing about the girl. I guess I'm assuming that you knew that he got together with her before you decided to get into a relationship with him.

 

Truth is that even if you didn't know about her, or know her, that you were not together and he probably would have been with someone else. It's harder because you know her and she's 'present'.

 

I'm pretty sure that my boyfriend has probably dated or slept with women that he has worked with and, frankly, I'd rather not know who. I don't really need to be picturing them together, as you are. I can feel your pain.

 

Work on it, within yourself. Stop your thoughts immediately when they start. Think about how much you care about him and the things that he does that make you care about him.

 

Separately, would it be fair or reasonable for you to ask him to find a new job, away from her? It might depend on the status of your relationship, job opportunities where you live, and how much he likes his job. Either way, if it's a fair request, make sure that it comes out as such, as a request, not a demand. Or if the two of you have talked about your feelings of jealousy, perhaps you can present it as an option.

 

If him changing jobs is overkill or out of proportion, then it's up to you to decide if you can live with it and work on your jealousy. Whether he changes jobs or not, it's probably best to work on the jealousy anyway, for this relationship and, in case it doesn't work out to be forever, for future relationships.