subtitled Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 hey, i know this might take a while to read, but i'd really appreciate your advice. i'm totally unexperienced in this stuff! well i'm from australia... and i'm in my last year of school (so i'm 17, 18 in feb). There is a cd store in the middle of a mall that i have to walk through everday to get to school from the train station. it has no walls, and is in the middle of the thoroughfare. there's a young guy who works there who i like and i'm not sure what he thinks of me. i'll have to give you a history of our movements so it makes more sense... well he's worked there for about a year now, and i've always thought he was pretty cute, but never actually got to talk to him because id buy a cd when he wasnt there. a while ago i enquired about The Ultimate Clash cd and he was very interested in the idea of a 17 year old knowing about the clash, he said thats pretty cool you're into them, i'm what only a few years older and i only just got into them... so i thought cool, he's only like 19/20 then a few weeks ago, i went to buy another cd and he couldnt find the disc to go in the case, so said he had a copy of it at home he got free but hadnt listened to yet if i wanted it.. so he said come back in the next day and pick it up so i did, and i wanted to show him i liked him kind of, so i gave him a chupa chup and he was really cute and embarrassed and said thankyou, got the cd out, pulled out some other cds from his bag, one was the velvet underground and i said oh thats a good album hey and he said yeh, it is. you should get into these guys - interpol and i said yeh i'm into them too and anyway, he gave me the cd and introduced himself and shook my hand and stuff. so i was chuffed got talking about music etc. he said he was going to see lou reed play a gig in september... at the time i thought argh its probably an over 18 gig, but it turns out its not and i'd love to go... but i'd love to go with *him* more! i'm thinking of maybe asking whether he thinks its worth me going cos i dont know how much it is and i dont have anyone to go with (HINT HINT) is this tactless? what else can i do to get him to say something? other info: we've spoken three times this week, just randomly when i walked through the mall and the last time i thought he would just say hey and so i said hey and kept walking but he said "so how are you today?" and we got talking again and his hand was actually shaking, putting cds in a thing, i dunno he's really quiet/shy, but still talkative. i dont know if hes just a nervous character, or actually likes me. also, he catches my train in the mornings i found out. but i dont know where he gets on lol. anyone have advice? Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 There's a simple answer here: You won't know until you try. Swallow your fear, tuck your nerves in, and ask him outright. Seems to me that there are signals that he's interested, but if, as you say, he appears shy, he may not initiate anything, so the best way to know if he's interested is to ask him. Go on, what's the worst that could happen? Life is no Dr Pepper ad. Let us know how you get on... xxx Link to post Share on other sites
Author subtitled Posted August 8, 2003 Author Share Posted August 8, 2003 Dr Pepper... we dont have that in aus ! thankyou for your support! I'm just not sure if asking him outright would be a bad move. If he says no and it's really awkward i have to walk past him at least 3 times a week!! and last time i asked a 21 year old out he stood me up even though he liked me (age barrier) and it was really crushing... i feel sort of insecure about it. i basically want to know if his behaviour is indicative of his feelings.... but i dont want to rush into it. i've been hurt so much in the past and only had one actual relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 You are the one who will have to decide what's best. You'll never know if you don't ask, and we are all plagued by insecurities. You are pretty young and dealing with stuff like this gets easier with experience If he says no and it's really awkward i have to walk past him at least 3 times a week And what 's the worst thing that could happen? You feel a bit awkward, it's natural. i basically want to know if his behaviour is indicative of his feelings.... but i dont want to rush into it So often on this board posters want to know how to know what someone else thinks without asking them. I'm afraid that as yet there is no mind reading technology available!!! Two options: Take a chance, or do nothing and see what happens. Read my footnotes Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 Originally posted by subtitled Dr Pepper... we dont have that in aus ! Yes we do silly We just don't like it much so it isn't very popular or sold widely. Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 Do you know which commercials I mean then: You know "Go on, what's the worst that can happen?..." Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 8, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 8, 2003 Please take the chance and ask him. He will no doubt be very pleased that you asked him. If you guys have music (and other things) in common, it could be a really great experience for you both to enjoy the concert together. Gathering from the quality of your post, it appears that you are a decently intelligent gal, and that you are friendly and approachable. He may just be a shy fella when it comes to girls, he may worry a little about your age, etc. However, imagine what a great friendship this could be for you both. Would you want to pass up a great opportunity like that? Let's face it, it's not like you would be having sex together, you wouldn't be looking for the guy to plan a family with you. Right now, you guys would merely be spending time together doing things that (potentially) great friends would do. And, who knows? In some years down the road, who knows what this great friendship might mature into? Afterall, time is very much on your side. Even if he says no, he will remember that you asked him. You will too. Even if a turndown leads you both to a bit of unease for a while, if you both approach it as good friends, as a "no biggie" type of thing, that uneasy feeling will subside with time. I think you will agree that it is better to be uneasy for a little while over something you did say, rather than be uneasy for a long time over something you didn't. I think you both will have benefited in the long run if you ask him. Take that chance, be honest but casual, and tell him that, unless he has made other plans, you'd really enjoy taking in the concert with him. Rock on! Curt Link to post Share on other sites
Author subtitled Posted August 8, 2003 Author Share Posted August 8, 2003 so we do have dr pepper... possibly it's just me with my aversion to cherry flavoured things, my brain just blocks it out thanks Curt! I'll see what happens on Monday. I will bring up the concert and go from there... :S and report back if something happens! Link to post Share on other sites
cliche_boy Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 courage isnt lack of fear, its the decision that the reward is greater than the fear. So do it, if you think its worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 18, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 18, 2003 Any updates on your situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author subtitled Posted August 20, 2003 Author Share Posted August 20, 2003 well.. i haven't actually asked him about the concert because i found out it was $80 and i dont want to spend that much to meet up with him...! However, i've been talking to him everyday. On Friday, we ran into each other away from the record store. He was just leaving to go home, walking through the mall. I was on my way to an exam and was reading some notes, looked up only to see him saying hi! We had about a 10minute chat, he asked me about my exams/school etc. and i asked him what school he went to and it turns out he went to my local high school (which i don't go to) and that he lives two suburbs away and was friends with my old piano teacher's son! He said he had another cd to give me too which was nice. Kings of Leon. said he'd have it on monday for me and might see me on the train (as we discovered we caught the same train...) However, i had an exam on monday, and so didnt see him on the train as i wasn't on the regular timetable. I didn't see him in the store either, but he did work. Tuesday - he caught my train but i didn't realise until after and i'm not sure what carriage he gets on. I talked to him on my way through the mall and then back again, but he didnt mention the cd.. i figure he thought i wouldn't be there. I also said hey today and he said 'hey how are you doing?' +ofcourse, cute smile.. but i had to go because my friends were waiting. anyway, i was thinking that maybe if he gave me the cd tomorrow, instead of giving him a chupa chup in return like last time, then i might make him a mix tape (cd) of bands i like and think he would enjoy too, and have on the inside "direct all queries, complaints, abuse, praise to: .......(my phone number)" just have to see what happens. i have issues with asking him out. i'm insecure about rejection, especially when he really is there almost everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 20, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 20, 2003 Well, sounds like things are progressing. Make sure to do the thing with the tape. Really sharp of you to think of that idea. I like it And hey...everyone's afraid of rejection. Just have faith, and go for it. You guys like each other a lot. Don't let fear ruin the possibility of a great friendship/relationship. Make that compilation cd/tape, and enclose the instructions. We're all in your corner. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
Author subtitled Posted August 21, 2003 Author Share Posted August 21, 2003 yeh, my friends think it is a good idea too... i'm sensing bad vibes though, as he used to always appear really nervous/shy yet talkative, but this week he has seemed much less so in both aspects, and has really only talked chit chat... it's really depressing being back in school uniform after being able to wear normal clothes during my exams for two weeks, and it being really obvious i'm younger than him in that respect. anyway, he said he'd bring the cd in next week, so i'll give him the mix cd then. i will take the plunge... (i think..!) Link to post Share on other sites
faithful Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 yeh, my friends think it is a good idea too... i'm sensing bad vibes though, as he used to always appear really nervous/shy yet talkative, but this week he has seemed much less so in both aspects, and has really only talked chit chat... it's really depressing being back in school uniform after being able to wear normal clothes during my exams for two weeks, and it being really obvious i'm younger than him in that respect. anyway, he said he'd bring the cd in next week, so i'll give him the mix cd then. i will take the plunge... (i think..!) just do a subtle but hot stare and then smile.maybe do a girlish giggle.then LEAVE THE STORE its a great tease Link to post Share on other sites
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