nowhereman82 Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 She wants to see whats out there and have you to fall back on. It's ultimately your choice but if you do meet with her....keep it natural, don't feel pressured to do any actions. Keep it friendly, keep it in your control, and keep it short before things get awkward or silent. Show that though you are hanging with her, that you arent desperate, you have a life, and you don't need her. It will do you good and her. Regardless if it means you get back together. Don't do it if your only goal is to get back. Link to post Share on other sites
BurningRoses Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Okay as a former "party girl" I can tell you, it is nice to have a "stable guy" to fall back on. I know it sounds nigh on cold but in the lives of some women, a wild hair forms and begins to grow straight up our a*& at some point or another. It is not a conscious decision, and our actions become totally instinctual and , some would say, wild. We dance, drink, flirt, adventure, generally act like there is no tomorrow. This whirlwind can become too much for us though. Usually when we commence these periods, we subconsciously seek out a sweet and understanding male (or female) critter, as a bit of a safe harbor. Someone we can call at 3 am if we are in trouble, or have "quieter" times with. We are not being malicious, we don't even realize that we are in essence "using" this person. Unfortunately, real and lasting feelings for this person are not really an immediate option. Becoming so swept up in the moment takes a lot out of you. Part of us eventually will either a) feel guilty and go NC at some point b) suddenly move c) use the aforementioned critter until it completely freaks out and goes NC d)all of the above. There is a rainbow however, if we have a conscience or any level of personal growth, we do look back. And we do feel terrible when we realize what we did. Some of us even try to make ammends. My advice is, don't be a doormat, dear. Give her her space, try not to get jealous (I know easier said than done), and let her make her mistakes. If she knows you are there but does not mentally connect you to her "adventures" ya got a better shot. If , however you get caught caught up in her drama, forget it kid and move one Link to post Share on other sites
Melrapuo Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I've decided to pretty much just move on. I've realized that she's throwing herself at pretty much any guy. Apparently she told him (and her friends) that she really likes him, and I guess is looking for a relationship. She hasn't even been single for a month, and I'm not sure if she means this or not. In a weird way, I hope that she at least ends up with someone who treats her nicely. I know, its weird. She treated me like ****, but I still do care for her. At the same time, I know I gave her everything, and I think my depression towards the end was due to the fact that she wasn't giving it back in return. I guess I liked her family more than her heh, cuz they are really nice people. Anyway, I don't mind being single at this point. Maybe just some attention would be nice though. : ) Thank you guys for your support. Link to post Share on other sites
tommiw Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I've decided to pretty much just move on. I've realized that she's throwing herself at pretty much any guy. Apparently she told him (and her friends) that she really likes him, and I guess is looking for a relationship. She hasn't even been single for a month, and I'm not sure if she means this or not. In a weird way, I hope that she at least ends up with someone who treats her nicely. I know, its weird. She treated me like ****, but I still do care for her. At the same time, I know I gave her everything, and I think my depression towards the end was due to the fact that she wasn't giving it back in return. I guess I liked her family more than her heh, cuz they are really nice people. Anyway, I don't mind being single at this point. Maybe just some attention would be nice though. : ) Thank you guys for your support. This is exactly like my situation. I've become a friend to my "partygirl" ex, I've even had sex with her, but I don't want to be a doormat. I'll just be not needy and try to live my life exactly like I would if she was just a normal friend. Link to post Share on other sites
nowhereman82 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 This made me think of the song Self Esteem by Offspring. Here is a snipit that came to mind. Check it out on youtube if you never heard it. Now I'll relay this little bit It happens more than I'd like to admit Late at night, she knocks on my door She's drunk again and, looking to score Now I know, I should say no, but It's kind of hard when she's ready to go I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb I'm just a sucker with no self esteem *btw not calling you a sucker or nothen lol* Link to post Share on other sites
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