Author D-Lish Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Aw, well don't fret fellow LS's. I don't have grandiose ideas of us walking into a sunset together. It's only that I haven't allowed a "nice guy" into my life in forever... and he is a nice guy. I'm not going to do the LDR thing. I thought about it long and hard and it's just not what I want. He had asked for my address- and he did send me flowers today. I knew he would- just had that feeling. I know he is smitten. I on the other hand have to get my dream job, continue to remain sober, and focus on more important things. We talk lots- and I enjoy his "pseudo-company" on the phone and msn... but it's not enough to build a relationship on. His friend continues to see my friend- and that is cool. I do want to build something meaningful with someone local though. No more of those lonley nights and insecurities I endured before. I guess maybe I can see this as a bit of a break though- I felt drawn to someone whom I deemed an individual who would treat me great. That's new. That's a good thing. No LDR's for me though. I did it with my ex husband- and then I did it with someone who lives a 4 hours plane ride away last year. Neither of those offered me fulfillment. I feel a calm sense of happiness brewing within me. Making good choices about EVERYTHING I do is my top priority. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 It's okay D, you just had too much expectations too soon. LDR's don't work, one of my best friend's been through a 1 yr and a half relationship with another guy in another country, 3,000 miles away. They'd only met once and broke up not long afterwards. Now she's happy with a guy who lives 2 hrs away, and would call her from time to time instead of expecting her to be on AIM 24/7. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 thought about the long and hard and it's just not what I want. there is hope for the shorter guys afterall ... D-lish Half the battle is knowing what you want.. Knowing your own limits is a good thing D.. You sound like your head is in a good place with this guy... Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 LDR's don't work. I would say that they are challenging but can work - it just takes the right amount of time spent together, honest communication and focus on the task at hand (your job). Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 I guess it's just a step in the right direction to choose to spend a little time with someone who has something meaningful to offer me. As some of you might know, all I've done is date undesireables for the past couple years, and have done so on purpose. I just haven't felt open to the notion of letting anyone worthy get inside my head. It seems now, that I have decided to take a break from dating and work on me...that I notice guys coming out of the woodwork all around me. Why does that happen? On a bad note- I was out with my best friend and the guy she is seeing (my dude's best friend) along with a ton of others....and she left early because she has to work tomorrow. And my dude's best friend was drunk, and confided in me that he wanted to be with me. He said he liked my friend, but I was his first choice. That sucks royally- because that complicates things immensely. I don't like the local dude- and my best friend is talking about how much she adores him. I told him straight up that I am not interested- but I don't know whether to toss it off as a drunken meaningless confession or not. He got really sappy and crap with me- and now I am faced with how to deal with his intentions with my friend. She is very fragile with regard to her ego... and I couldn't comprehend telling her what he said. I don't plan on telling her for that reason- I think she'd blame me. But I am worried that this other guy that I initially thought was a pretty solid guy is going to hurt her. They are sleeping together and spending lots of time together- and now he has to go and tell me he likes me. I was just firm with local dude- and asked him to respect his best friend and mine. I couldn't comprehend moving in on my best friend's partner. The funny thing is that I talked to my guy tonight and he was going off about how his best friend was a stand up guy who had his back. Little does he know. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Ok, So your guy's friend is sleazy. More the chances that your guy is some sort of player. (and he sent you flowers delivery, hmm..) But, we'll have to wait and see on that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Lish Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 Ok, So your guy's friend is sleazy. More the chances that your guy is some sort of player. (and he sent you flowers delivery, hmm..) But, we'll have to wait and see on that one. Nah, I don't believe my guy is a player. I believe him to be naive when it comes to relationships. My guy is more of a puppy dog type. Shy, sweet, and quite opposite from his friend. I was drawn to my guy initially because he is pretty genuine. My problem has never been NOT being able to spot players- I normally spot them and play them. I wasn't attracted to local guy initially because he did have the player vibe going on. I thought he was nice- but used to getting by on his looks. My guy is a bookworm and I am quite sure used to being overlooked because his friend is the charmer and the looker. I liked my guy because of his intellect and humility. He is smart and sweet- just lives too far away... Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I On a bad note- I was out with my best friend and the guy she is seeing (my dude's best friend) along with a ton of others....and she left early because she has to work tomorrow. And my dude's best friend was drunk, and confided in me that he wanted to be with me. He said he liked my friend, but I was his first choice. That sucks royally- because that complicates things immensely. I don't like the local dude- and my best friend is talking about how much she adores him. I told him straight up that I am not interested- but I don't know whether to toss it off as a drunken meaningless confession or not. He got really sappy and crap with me- and now I am faced with how to deal with his intentions with my friend. She is very fragile with regard to her ego... and I couldn't comprehend telling her what he said. I don't plan on telling her for that reason- I think she'd blame me. But I am worried that this other guy that I initially thought was a pretty solid guy is going to hurt her. They are sleeping together and spending lots of time together- and now he has to go and tell me he likes me. I spend allmost all of my free time with my woman and am comfortable doing so - I guess the flipside is that I can't/won't get drunk and flirt with others. Sure I'm a sucker for loyalty. Hell, she's the one doing all the drunk flirting with others. I kinda sit back and rate it Link to post Share on other sites
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