Did I do anything wrong here???

[Booker43]

I've been dating my girlfriend for 6 months now and everything has been wonderful. We're really great together and plan to be together for a very long time.

 

Right now we're long distance, we will be for another couple of weeks because of summer. Our relationship has lasted really well over the summer and the distance has only caused us to grow closer.

 

Anyways, last night I went out to the bar with one of my roommates and a girl that works with me. We tried to invite some more people to come along but they didn't want to. Eventually a friend of mine's girlfriend called us up and asked if she could join us. We said sure and eventually she showed up. Everything was fine, we all chatted and drank and had a good time. Eventually at about midnight I went outside to call my girlfriend and we talked for 20 minutes or so. I went back in afterward and couldn't find anybody. Eventually I found my roommate and the girl I worked with. We couldn't find the other girl though. Eventually we just left assuming she had as well.

 

We met up with some people at a food place, one of those people was this girls boyfriend, he didn't seem too worried we couldn't find her, probably assuming she just went home.

 

So I get home at about 1:00 or so, and go right to bed. About 2:30 I get the **** scared out of me by somebody standing in my bedroom door. It's this girl we had been looking for, she lived in the apartment before I did so I have no clue how she got in but she did. Either way, I had put her ID and money in my shorts at the bar so she just said she needed that back. She was clearly hammered. Then she says "Oh I'll just stay here, I'll sleep on the floor". It was pouring rain out and I was kind of drunk so I said ok. I turned over and fell back asleep for a few minutes, when I looked back over I see that she has climbed into my bed.

 

I didn't know what to do. I just kind of got as close to the wall as I could and tried to get back to sleep. I couldn't sleep and felt very very uncomfortable. Eventually I did fall asleep for a few minutes, when I woke back up I realized that she was still there and I had to get up and leave. This was about 5 am. I then realized the power had gone out so I sat in my living room (I don't have a couch yet so I couldn't lie down anywhere), I sat there for an hour or so. Eventually I left and went up to my office which is where I am now.

 

So wtf do I do? I'm very pissed off right now. The first chance I get to talk to my girlfriend I'm going to tell her exactly what I just wrote here, but it doesn't change the fact that there was another girl in my bed and I feel guilty as hell about it. What am I supposed to say to her boyfriend? What if my girlfriend reacts badly to it? What am I supposed to say to the dozens of mutual friends we have? Lying is something I just can't do and I'm really getting scared of how this might turn out.

[torranceshipman]

Lol, you didn't do ANYTHING disrespectful to your girlfriend and it's sweet you even went out of your way to get out of your own bed to avoid the situation Tell your girlfriend and I am sure she will be fine with it - you have NOTHING to feel guilty about re: the girl in your bed-you acted like a gent.

 

HOWEVER - never, never assume a girl is ok and leave her alone in a bar, especially when she has a couple of drinks - this might be very unsafe for her and anything could have happened - someone could have slipped a roofie in her drink, she might be in trouble, whatever. Better to be safe and make sure you know ALL girls are ok in your group, no matter what. I actually think it was irresponible of you guys to leave a girl alone like that (I know you didnt have bad intentions) and I'm even shocked that the boyfriend didnt seem to care whether she was ok - you all need to take care of girls in the group a bit better I think.

[Tony T]

This is an extremely bizarre story that I find very hard to believe. I would be very surprised if your girlfriend believes it. If I were her and you told me exactly what you have written above, I would never trust you again. It just puts too many things into somebody's mind. The story is way too goofy with too many crazy elements to be believable, although crazier things have happened in this world so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.

 

The above opinion is from a very jealous guy who has never had a gal turn up at his bedroom door out of nowhere and get in bed with him. Why can't things like that happen to me?

[Tbell]

I wouldn't tell your girlfriend. I agree with Tony T. that would be a too bizarre story for her to believe and could somehow damage your relationship. But of course you know her well and it's your decision

[Alma Mobley]

If I were you, I would also be worried about what that girl is going to think when she wakes up. She might not remember anything and simply find herself in your bed. I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea, accuse you of anything, or tell her boyfriend something that could piss him off.

[JohnnyBlaze]

I'll be devil's advocate here. If you tell her, you do run the risk of her questioning the validity of your story. If you don't tell her and she finds out through the grapevine, she won't question your guilt; she'll know it. After all, if you didn't do anything wrong, why did you hide it? One thing I've learned over the years: if there's something that you'd really rather your girlfriend not find out about, somehow she will. Girls have some Spidey sense about that kind of thing - don't ask me how. Personally, I'd tell her; it's safer that way.

 

If your girlfriend has ever worked in the restaurant or bar biz for any length of time, it probably won't even make a blip on her radar. We used to do that all the time. We'd go out and party until dawn, crash out at someone's place, and you'd wake up the next afternoon with a girl (or two) in bed with you. 99% of the time nothing happened (there were a pair or two that you knew would do something if put in the same bed), and we'd get up, go to work somewhat hung over and repeat the process the next night. Nobody thought anything of it.

 

Just give her the rundown you gave us. "She was drunk so she crashed out at my place. I gave her the bed and went up to the office." It doesn't sound sordid and it takes a proactive approach. Since you're telling her so openly, there's a much better chance she'll believe you. If you're good friends with her boyfriend, you might wanna subtly broach it with him, too. Nothing big, just "hey, how's your girlfriend? She was pretty toasted the other night, so I let her crash at my place. I figured it was safer than her trying to go home in that condition". Now you're not the guy who had a buddy's girlfriend in his bed (which makes you seem bad). You're the guy who was watching out for a friend (which makes you seem good). I don't imagine she'll concoct a story to screw you. If she tells her boyfriend that something happened, she risks losing him. That doesn't do her any good at all. She'll probably just say the same thing I'm recommending you say. She was drunk and crashed at your place. End of story.

 

Chances are, at some point, the story's going to come out. They always do. So, rather than let a rumour start and have to fight it off later, you may as well control it right from the beginning.

 

Just my 2¢.

[Ronni_W]

Pretend I am your girlfriend: "Howcome YOU got custody of her ID and money at the bar? Where was her boyfriend? Were they having a fight and she did something with you just to piss him off? EVEN IF you were kind of drunk, why didn't you get out of bed right away instead of waiting a couple of hours? How the freak did she get in? Why didn't you just call a cab for her?"

 

Personally, I wouldn't breathe a word to anybody, hope that the girl involved is also feeling guilty and embarrassed, and that never another thought is given to this 'twilight zone' experience.

 

If it does get out to whomever, show him/her this post and say you ultimately decided upon Tony T's good advice that it was too bizarre and you just didn't know where to start...but this really IS what and how it happened.

[SnapCracklePop]

I agree with JohnnyBlaze on this one. Keep it simple, but controlled so that it does not get imagined into something larger than it is.

 

From what I could read, the girl's bf was not even at the bar, so Booker was probably the best person to hold the ID so it would get back to the right hands. Nothing odd about that.

 

You made certain that a friend's gf was safe. Nothing to be ashamed of about that.