Author CaliGuy Posted August 11, 2008 Author Share Posted August 11, 2008 Just wait until we release our secret weapon in the post-season against the Angels Won't matter. It'll be Cubs vs Angels On that note, I guess we can close the thread out. I don't think I'm going to get an answer to the multiple visits per week. My only guess is I provided both of them something they aren't getting from their current guys. And even if that is the case, I have to wonder to some degree if they aren't emotionally cheating on them... Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Yes, I think that pretty much answers all our questions. Time for them girls to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 I just don't see how you can have ANY expectation of privacy when you post your life on the internet, regardless of whether you asked them not to look. Honestly, CG, you know I love ya, but seriously...it's ludicrous. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 I just don't see how you can have ANY expectation of privacy when you post your life on the internet, regardless of whether you asked them not to look. Honestly, CG, you know I love ya, but seriously...it's ludicrous. The fact is, those girls are going to find some way to keep tabs on him. He might as well put it out in private if only to keep them from sneaking around in his bushes. Link to post Share on other sites
Jake Barnes Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Won't matter. It'll be Cubs vs Angels not after tony rezko greases some palms... Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted August 11, 2008 Author Share Posted August 11, 2008 I just don't see how you can have ANY expectation of privacy when you post your life on the internet, regardless of whether you asked them not to look. Honestly, CG, you know I love ya, but seriously...it's ludicrous. I don't know that I expect privacy. It all comes down to why and why so often. That's all. And yes, I can make it private by using a password, which I have been mulling over a lot lately.... Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 My only guess is I provided both of them something they aren't getting from their current guys. And even if that is the case, I have to wonder to some degree if they aren't emotionally cheating on them... OMG - you HAVE to be joking about this. Please tell me you are. It's like I said - you are looking for some kind of validation that they still want you. I don't think you have processed the rejection or break-ups very well at all, and it's manifesting with this obsession you have with them and their motives. I've honestly never seen someone so self-aware, yet so completely STUCK and stubborn. Even when I am happily involved with someone, I still have curiosity about people I'm no longer in touch with. Doesn't mean something is missing in my new relationship, and doesn't mean I was emotionally cheating by being in touch with them from time to time. Cali - do yourself a favor. STOP stalking what they are doing. STOP trying to find answers to something that can't be answered except by them. STOP trying to find validation that they still would "want you" in some way. Your self-worth isn't tied up in what these women think about you, and as soon as you realize this, you will be able to move on. Until then, you will continue to use this silliness as an emotional crutch in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 And yes, I can make it private by using a password, which I have been mulling over a lot lately.... Do it. It's your only option if you want to keep the nosy ex's OUT of your life and peaking in on your site. Sure it's a big royal pain in the ass to change up and notify all your relatives, friends etc, but if by doing that will make YOU feel better and stop worrying about the why's and more why's the ex's are checking up on you - DO IT! It'll give you closure and satisfaction at the same time - They will look one day and won't have ANY access. End of story and they'll have to move on and focus on some other ex or focus on their own boyfriends, and lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 In case anyone is wondering I got my answer. She was just curious how I was doing since I completely cut her out of my life. Probably the same with the first ex. She didn't understand why I did that, but she does now. And we won't be "friends" as she wishes. I just can't be friends with people who take me for granted. No more checking the logs anymore. I think I'm cured of that Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Yenno bro, this thread got me thinking if Lawrence checks my online journal still. I remember that he would get upset when he'd ask me if I checked his photoblog (when we were still friends, we got along really well because we'd talk about photography) update then I'd say "No." Of course I knew what I was doing: detaching, distancing myself from all that personal site pish posh attached to him. I don't want reminders, THX. I'm mostly MySpace-less, Facebook-less now. I have an account on Facebook that's solely for family members only. Something he didn't understand. "Honey, it's this simple: I can't be friends with someone I'm still in love with." Nothing got through to him - until I buckled down with this NC. Anyway, I'm digressing. I really meant to say that I'm super glad that my past self had the foresight to not install even a Javascript tracker. Those IP pings from his area would drive me crazy, I know it. And even if he does check my journal - yes, I still wonder from time to time but I'm grateful that I didn't use any of the tools to get evidence of his visits - I hope he gets an aneurysm. "She's OK without me?! WUT?!?!" Ohoho, there I go. Ranting again. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 By posting your life on the internet, you're making it public. This is a fundamental truth, and a basic, uncomplicated fact of how the intarwebs work. ...I have a boundary and am simply trying to let them know they are over-stepping it. So if they hide in an unmarked car with a telephoto lens trying to peek into my house, is that ok too? Do you see what I am saying here? I think a better analogy here is that if you were to stand out on your lawn telling your life story to passers-by on the sidewalk, you can't really dictate who is allowed to stop and listen. There is no "boundary" here that you get to selectively enforce. You are publishing your content publicly, and those on the "information highway" are all able to drive by and view it. Now, if you choose to step inside your house and close the doors and curtains (i.e. password protect your content) then you have a reasonable expectation of privacy, and you would have a justifiable greivance against someone who tried to breach those protections. Jilly the only real thing that bugs me is "Why?" So it's not really that you think their behavior was wrong, per se, but that you didn't understand it, is that it? I'll tell you what - you may not understand why they were not "over you", but you weren't over them, either. A big indication that you are over them will be when you no longer care "why" about any of their behaviors. Yet, like moths to a flame, they keep coming back. Like you and your logs... In case anyone is wondering I got my answer. She was just curious how I was doing since I completely cut her out of my life. Probably the same with the first ex. She didn't understand why I did that, but she does now. And we won't be "friends" as she wishes. I just can't be friends with people who take me for granted. No more checking the logs anymore. I think I'm cured of that So I'm glad things have worked out, but does anyone else find this totally anti-climactic? How did you learn that she was "just curious?" Didn't several people in this thread suggest that it's understandable for an ex to be curious and to check up on you? What is different now? It sounds like you had some unfinished business there - did you have a conversation of some kind? Did you get to tell your side of the story which was missing before? Do you feel like it's finished now? Do you care any more what they do? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 So how did you find this out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 We talked for a long time yesterday and she told me why. Bottom line is she was just curious since I shut her out. I imagine the first ex was the same way. I guess when you cut people off and go NC, curiosity tends to rear it's ugly head. What I should be doing is ignoring it. If they really want to be with you, they won't be stalking you on your web site. They'd be beating down your door Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Didn't several people in this thread suggest that it's understandable for an ex to be curious and to check up on you? What is different now? She confirmed what we all were saying. He needed to hear it from her directly. Glad this is sorted out - And I hope for your sake you DO stop looking at the logs because chances are, at some point in time she WILL look again - For the same reason, curiosity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 She confirmed what we all were saying. He needed to hear it from her directly. Exactly. I needed to hear it from the horse's mouth. Glad this is sorted out - And I hope for your sake you DO stop looking at the logs because chances are, at some point in time she WILL look again - For the same reason, curiosity. Oh I am sure she'll look again. Of that I have no doubt. But the difference now is I know why -- and don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 GOOD! CG, you're never allowed to post about this issue again! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I am glad you feel better honey! You know, you should not be so insecure, you have alot to offer a girl x Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 GOOD! CG, you're never allowed to post about this issue again! Yeah, seriously. I am tired of it too! But now that I understand, I don't need to ask this question again. And to be honest, I won't care if I do see it. I will now consider it a compliment I am glad you feel better honey! You know, you should not be so insecure, you have alot to offer a girl x Thanks. I AM confident in myself and I do think I have a lot to offer to the right woman. I just need to practice not putting my heart on my sleeve. I don't do it as often as I used to, I just need a tad more polish in that area. FWIW, Art was probably right. I do need to "score" haha.... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 FWIW, Art was probably right. I do need to "score" haha.... He isn't probably right.. he is definitely right with a certainly of over 99.999% Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 He isn't probably right.. he is definitely right with a certainly of over 99.999% Well since there's a lack of lovely, hawt, LS babes lining up right now I guess I'm SOL for a while I don't troll bars and I don't ever meet a woman with the intention of hitting and running. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 I don't know that I expect privacy. It all comes down to why and why so often. That's all. And yes, I can make it private by using a password, which I have been mulling over a lot lately.... i am a gal that used to ask the WHY question a lot... it is just the way my brain processes things. i was told not too long ago that it is NOT productive to want to know WHY! i was then taught to rethink things to ask HOW i could possibly make things different for myself. HOW to make it different will give a different end result. this has worked well for me because the way i was doing things before was not working to my benefit. to ask why? was not making things change and not making things better. to then ask HOW? i could do things differently does give me a different result as well as a different perspective... Link to post Share on other sites
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