Some questions about cyber stalkers

[Art_Critic]

Is this a .htaccess function? Could I get the hits to not show up AND automatically send them to another site?

 

HAHA. I just thought of something. Maybe I could send their hits directly to a porn site.

 

I bet THAT would cure their obession with my page!!! haha.

 

It is a function of the webserver.. your webserver is running unix if it is using .htaccess..

Are you an admin of your own web server ?

 

Which software do you use to catalog the hits and make viewable pages for you ?

 

By the way.. you can with no doubt create a piece of javascript and redirect them, to a porn site..

[CaliGuy]

It is a function of the webserver.. your webserver is running unix if it is using .htaccess..

Are you an admin of your own web server ?

 

No I use powweb for hosting.

 

Which software do you use to catalog the hits and make viewable pages for you ?

 

Webalyzer works ok.

 

By the way.. you can with no doubt create a piece of javascript and redirect them, to a porn site..

 

You perhaps have a linky you can PM me to a good one?

[whichwayisup]

They don't care at all, they're just being plain NOSY, it's that simple.

 

I don't want them to see the site. That's a part of my personal life they aren't privvy to anymore.

 

You're going to hate me for saying this...Your choices are - password protect your site, change it completely and email your friends and family the new site name or just learn to deal with the fact you have nosy people who like to check up and see what is going on in your life. I know it BUGS the crap out of you, but honestly, if you don't want ex's peaking into your life, DO something so they can't have access.

it is simply to keep those I don't want in my life OUT of it.

 

PW protect then. Sorry to say that again..

[CaliGuy]

They don't care at all, they're just being plain NOSY, it's that simple.

 

So let me ask you, why be so nosy? What is it that is so important to them to know about me that they would blatently ignore request to go away?

 

PW protect then. Sorry to say that again..

 

I know, but it creates such a hassle for my family and they can get around it if they're internet savvy.

[Amacada]

Ugh, that is what I don't understand. I think I was a great boyfriend to both of them but if I am not "relationship" material to them, why would they be that obessive. I don't track my ex's.

 

I understand that it intrigues you, as it would me....and I cannot explain why they would want to 'keep tabs' on you.

 

You have to accept that you may never know the reason and leave them to it. If it's affecting you that much, then I think you may have some unresolved issues with your exes that you have to work through - without taking their behaviour into account at all.

Afterall, YOUR feelings about your ex's behaviour is the issue here....not their actions.

[Art_Critic]

No I use powweb for hosting.

 

 

 

Webalyzer works ok.

 

 

 

You perhaps have a linky you can PM me to a good one?

 

I'm not familiar with powweb.. but I'm sure the option is in there to not log those ip's

 

For webalyzer you just make a setting in the config file

# The Hide*, Group* and Ignore* and Include* keywords allow you to

# change the way Sites, URLs, Referrers, User Agents and Usernames

# are manipulated. The Ignore* keywords will cause The Webalizer to

# completely ignore records as if they didn't exist (and thus not

# counted in the main site totals). The Hide* keywords will prevent

# things from being displayed in the 'Top' tables, but will still be

# counted in the main totals. The Group* keywords allow grouping

# similar objects as if they were one. Grouped records are displayed

# in the 'Top' tables and can optionally be displayed in BOLD and/or

# shaded. Groups cannot be hidden, and are not counted in the main

# totals. The Group* options do not, by default, hide all the items

# that it matches. If you want to hide the records that match (so just

# the grouping record is displayed), follow with an identical Hide*

# keyword with the same value. (see example below) In addition,

# Group* keywords may have an optional label which will be displayed

# instead of the keywords value. The label should be seperated from

# the value by at least one 'white-space' character, such as a space

# or tab. If the match string contains whitespace (spaces or tabs),

# the string should be quoted with either single or double quotes.

#

# The value can have either a leading or trailing '*' wildcard

# character. If no wildcard is found, a match can occur anywhere

# in the string. Given a string "www.yourmama.com", the values "your",

# "*mama.com" and "www.your*" will all match.

 

# Your own site should be hidden

#HideSite *webalizer.org

#HideSite localhost

 

You do have to remove the # in order to activate the option

 

The link to the options is ftp://ftp.mrunix.net/pub/webalizer/sample.conf

 

Goggle ip redirect java or ip redirect javascript

 

For the redirect scripts

[CaliGuy]

Excellent, thanks Art. Gotta run to Sears to get a new BBQ grill I will work on this when I get home later.

 

And yeah, I agree there are some unresolved issues. Perhaps stemming from the fact that I loved them both unconditionally. I guess it irks me that I am capable of doing that with others but others aren't capable of doing that with me....

 

At least I know I can love that way....

[kizik]

CG, this whole thread seems to be about you you you and how great you are and how they're stupid for checking up on you and why can't they leave you alone... a bunch of drama that really is about how 'above them' you are, and how immature they are.

 

The checking up is not a problem, you know it feeds your ego. It's a bunch of noise about a non-issue and if you're so secure and happy without them, why even create this thread. Maybe they f*cked up, maybe not, people have the right to access a public domain and like other users have said, if it truly does bother you and this is not some pseudo-problem, make it PW protected or simply stop checking the logs!!!

[Art_Critic]

And yeah, I agree there are some unresolved issues. Perhaps stemming from the fact that I loved them both unconditionally. I guess it irks me that I am capable of doing that with others but others aren't capable of doing that with me....

 

We all subject to having unresolved issues and we are only human.. So are you..

 

I just wish you would get laid ... j/k

[johan]

I don't know if I'd define what is going on as "stalking". Not sure what I'd call it, but "stalking" seems to be a bit more invasive and has a goal of some sort. I don't see any particular goal or urgent need for direct contact with you. It could just be curiosity.

 

If I had a website out there, I wouldn't be surprised to see one or more of my exes checking it out occasionally. And I know better than to think they have any desire to keep in touch.

[Amacada]

And yeah, I agree there are some unresolved issues. Perhaps stemming from the fact that I loved them both unconditionally. I guess it irks me that I am capable of doing that with others but others aren't capable of doing that with me....

 

At least I know I can love that way....

 

And there is no shame in that mate.

I'm impressed with the way that you give great advice, but also are able to show your vulnerable side and admit that things aren't always smooth sailing in your world.

It's an admirable quality to have and I'm glad that you show no signs of losing it.

 

Your exes weren't good enough for you bro, whether they realise it now or some time in the future....I'm sure that reality will tap them on the shoulder at some stage.

[Art_Critic]

If I had a website out there, I wouldn't be surprised to see one or more of my exes checking it out occasionally. And I know better than to think they have any desire to keep in touch.

 

This is a very good point Johan.. I think it could be said about many of us...even Caliguy..

[whichwayisup]

So let me ask you, why be so nosy? What is it that is so important to them to know about me that they would blatently ignore request to go away?

 

Is it possible that THEY know it bugs you so now it's a game? That they know it pisses you off, that you check up on them and have asked them not to look, to leave you alone, it IS possible atleast one ex is playing a game with you.

 

I know, but it creates such a hassle for my family and they can get around it if they're internet savvy.

 

If it bugs you SO much that your ex's are looking at your site, then I'm sure your family will understand and it won't kill them to join your site that now needs a pw to get in. Sure it's an inconvienance for them, but if it makes you feel more at ease, then do it.

 

If they're that internet savy and can crack your pw to get into the site, then you need to make sure if your name is googled your page does NOT come up.

[Lizzie60]

I have to agree with WWIU.. maybe they know it is bothering you..

 

It also could be because they are still 'interested' in you.. hard to say.. I'm not familiar with your story.

 

But, be honest, you DO like the attention.. come on.. spill it...

 

I know I would.. it is always flattering to know that people are obsessing about you..

[foxh1234]

I think what is happening to you illustrates the power of NC.

When you have a relationship with someone and then cut them out of your life- that person will embrace the silence as rejection. It doesn't matter who left who- that silence speaks volumes, and it has a big impact.

 

I've broken up with people before- and it's effected me to endure their silence.

 

I suspect the viewing of your site has to do with feeling rejected. They can't get any validation from you personally because you won't speak to them... so they go to the next best thing and view your life through your blogs.

 

I think D-Lish hit it right on the head. I agree with this 100%.

[Lishy]

I think that you like it Cali ... I think it makes you feel good to know that they still want to know what you are up to and would like someone to tell you it is because they still care.

 

The truth is that if you do not care a bit you would not check as it would not enter your mind to check, they still want to see what you are up to so IMO they still care for you in a way.

 

But I still do not believe that you are being honest with yourself about this situation. Ask yourself why you care so much that they are stalking your site and then ask yourself if, infact, you are stalking their internet browsing habits!

 

A web site is there for all to look at, so unless you have it password protected then you can expect all and sundry to look

 

Give us the site name and let us look!

[Art_Critic]

Give us the site name and let us look!

 

I wouldn't mind the link..

 

I'll change my ip every other day.. that should get to ya

[Lishy]

I wouldn't mind the link..

 

I would love a peek!!!!!!!

 

I also think that you smiled when you saw more hits from them after you put up a pic of you and a girl! I dont think this is bothering you as much as you let on, I think you like it and I dont blame you!

 

Getting dumped sucks and this way you know they are still interested in a way and that must make you feel a lil bit good?

[Star Gazer]

But I made it clear to them they're not welcome in my life anymore.

 

By posting your life on the internet, you're making it public. To the world, which includes them.

 

Pretend you're a celebrity (which in this situation is analogous, seeing as your life is on public display in the same fashion). Would you honestly think it reasonable to ask them to never pick up a People/US/Star magazine? Never watch Entertainment Tonight? Never read Perez Hilton?

 

It's not cyber stalking. Really.

[Star Gazer]

BTW - send me the link.

[CaliGuy]

CG, this whole thread seems to be about you you you and how great you are and how they're stupid for checking up on you and why can't they leave you alone... a bunch of drama that really is about how 'above them' you are, and how immature they are.

 

The checking up is not a problem, you know it feeds your ego. It's a bunch of noise about a non-issue and if you're so secure and happy without them, why even create this thread. Maybe they f*cked up, maybe not, people have the right to access a public domain and like other users have said, if it truly does bother you and this is not some pseudo-problem, make it PW protected or simply stop checking the logs!!!

 

Yes, this thread is about me. You don't know them and they don't post here. Who else would it be about?

 

I'm human and am not about to apologize for that.

 

We all subject to having unresolved issues and we are only human.. So are you..

 

I just wish you would get laid ... j/k

 

Haha. You know me, Art. I'm not the kind of guy to toss my manhood into any port in the storm....that's just not how I operate.

 

I don't know if I'd define what is going on as "stalking". Not sure what I'd call it, but "stalking" seems to be a bit more invasive and has a goal of some sort. I don't see any particular goal or urgent need for direct contact with you. It could just be curiosity.

 

If I had a website out there, I wouldn't be surprised to see one or more of my exes checking it out occasionally. And I know better than to think they have any desire to keep in touch.

 

To me, stalking is when you've been asked to stay away and you don't do it. They may not want to talk to me directly (or in fact, may not feel that I would welcome a direct conversation because I wouldn't), going to the site is still trying to keep in touch. They're just not asking me directly.

 

And there is no shame in that mate.

I'm impressed with the way that you give great advice, but also are able to show your vulnerable side and admit that things aren't always smooth sailing in your world.

It's an admirable quality to have and I'm glad that you show no signs of losing it.

 

Your exes weren't good enough for you bro, whether they realise it now or some time in the future....I'm sure that reality will tap them on the shoulder at some stage.

 

Thanks Amacada. I really appreciate the kind words Like I said, I am human and fallable. I give and take advice much better when my heart is not involved. I wish I could detach it from the situation and see it more clearly but unfortunately (or fortunately) it's attached to my body

 

This is a very good point Johan.. I think it could be said about many of us...even Caliguy..

 

I don't disagree.

 

Is it possible that THEY know it bugs you so now it's a game? That they know it pisses you off, that you check up on them and have asked them not to look, to leave you alone, it IS possible atleast one ex is playing a game with you.

 

If it bugs you SO much that your ex's are looking at your site, then I'm sure your family will understand and it won't kill them to join your site that now needs a pw to get in. Sure it's an inconvienance for them, but if it makes you feel more at ease, then do it.

 

If they're that internet savy and can crack your pw to get into the site, then you need to make sure if your name is googled your page does NOT come up.

 

They don't need to crack the password to do it.

 

I have to agree with WWIU.. maybe they know it is bothering you..

 

It also could be because they are still 'interested' in you.. hard to say.. I'm not familiar with your story.

 

But, be honest, you DO like the attention.. come on.. spill it...

 

I know I would.. it is always flattering to know that people are obsessing about you..

 

I don't know how to explain it, Lizzie. The only correlation I can make is it would like someone saying "I don't want to buy this car" but they come and look at it every single day. Look if you aren't buying, that's fine but the window shopping is getting annoying.

 

Such as it is with me. They've got boyfriends. They've told me in some way, shape or form that I don't meet the criteria to have an LTR with them, but they sure as hell won't stop nosing around and keeping tabs on me.

 

Why?! I'm sorry but if I dump someone, the last thing I'm going to do is keep tabs on them. I set them free to find someone who will love and appreciate them in ways I could not.

 

So why can't my ex's do the same?

 

I think D-Lish hit it right on the head. I agree with this 100%.

 

I agree with D-Lish too. And she's cute

 

I think that you like it Cali ... I think it makes you feel good to know that they still want to know what you are up to and would like someone to tell you it is because they still care.

 

The truth is that if you do not care a bit you would not check as it would not enter your mind to check, they still want to see what you are up to so IMO they still care for you in a way.

 

But I still do not believe that you are being honest with yourself about this situation. Ask yourself why you care so much that they are stalking your site and then ask yourself if, infact, you are stalking their internet browsing habits!

 

A web site is there for all to look at, so unless you have it password protected then you can expect all and sundry to look

 

Give us the site name and let us look!

 

The site existed long before they came along. Curiosity about where the hits came from came long before they came along. Do you see what I am saying? FWIW, I know of one other "stalker" but she is someone from High School who I bumped into during our last reunion. She hasn't said a word to me, but she visits the site every Monday at the same time. Now her and I don't have much of a personal relationship and I don't mind that she hits the site.

 

But my ex's, yeah that bothers the piss out of me simply because to be rejected personally but to stalk me impersonably is rude. Leave me alone is all I want.

 

I wouldn't mind the link..

 

I'll change my ip every other day.. that should get to ya

 

You're not missing anything, Art. And a few LSers know the site link.

 

I would love a peek!!!!!!!

 

I also think that you smiled when you saw more hits from them after you put up a pic of you and a girl! I dont think this is bothering you as much as you let on, I think you like it and I dont blame you!

 

Getting dumped sucks and this way you know they are still interested in a way and that must make you feel a lil bit good?

 

Honestly yes it feels good to know it's driving them both nuts to some degree but at the same time, they had every opportunity to stay with me. I'm the kind of guy that once I start falling for someone, that's it. I don't want/need/desire anyone else. I've also learned that perhaps my increased confidence and self-assuredness (which I didn't have with the first ex) might be intriguing to them.

 

However, once again, I simply believe that if they are dating someone else and feel I am not worthy, stick to your guns and stay the FRICK off my site.

[CaliGuy]

By posting your life on the internet, you're making it public. To the world, which includes them.

 

Pretend you're a celebrity (which in this situation is analogous, seeing as your life is on public display in the same fashion). Would you honestly think it reasonable to ask them to never pick up a People/US/Star magazine? Never watch Entertainment Tonight? Never read Perez Hilton?

 

It's not cyber stalking. Really.

 

It is when they are asked to stop. And they both know I don't want them there.

 

In the same token, you have a house that faces the street. Is it OK for them to stand in front of your house every day, hoping to take a peek inside? Houses stand right in front of public property.

 

Whether they stand out on the street or stalk me on my web site, it's still creepy.

 

BTW - send me the link.

 

You wish

[whichwayisup]

I understand your frustration CG, but you are only aware of it because you keep track of it and know the IP addresses.

 

You have an active choice here - Obviously they are NOT going to stop, and you can't make them stop unless you PW protect your site. Or, you could call their ISP and tell them you're being spied upon.

 

Problem is, your site is public, so you have no real say in who can look and who can't.

 

Whether they stand out on the street or stalk me on my web site, it's still creepy.

 

I agree, it is creepy, but if you stop looking you won't know and maybe it'll slip your mind. It's become a vicious circle now - They look, you keep track of it and so on, then it boils your blood, enough to post about again.

 

Anyway, I hope that you can get past this or PW the site.

[Jilly Bean]

I think you all feel the same about each other. These women are continuing to want to know what's new in your life, and you are equally obsessed with them and their motives.

 

Seems like no one in the equation is able to let go...

 

So, to answer your question, I guess you would be best qualified, since you are putting just as much energy into them, as they are into you.

[CaliGuy]

I understand your frustration CG, but you are only aware of it because you keep track of it and know the IP addresses.

 

You have an active choice here - Obviously they are NOT going to stop, and you can't make them stop unless you PW protect your site. Or, you could call their ISP and tell them you're being spied upon.

 

Problem is, your site is public, so you have no real say in who can look and who can't.

 

I agree, it is creepy, but if you stop looking you won't know and maybe it'll slip your mind. It's become a vicious circle now - They look, you keep track of it and so on, then it boils your blood, enough to post about again.

 

Anyway, I hope that you can get past this or PW the site.

 

So if they hide in an unmarked car with a telephoto lens trying to peek into my house, is that ok too? Do you see what I am saying here?

 

I get what you're saying, but to do that would be to punish the innocent (my family and friends) because a few pain in the arse ex's won't take the message.

 

By the way, all the IP addresses they've been using are blocked. She hit it last night and then today but got the "you've been denied access" message. So at least to that degree, I know neither of them to this point can get into the site. The .htaccess file is doing it's job.

 

Now if they'd only just get the hint.