So, This Is How It Is.

[SimpleGirl.]

So, i'm new to this and i thought i may aswell try. Rather try and fail then not try at all, right?

 

Most of my friends are in relationships and i couldnt be happier for them. But lately, i've found myself feeling lonely and a little bit lost. My best friend is in a serious relationship, and i couldnt be more happier for her, but when your feeling lonely and just in need for a bit of attention and love, its hard to hear that someone so close to you has got what you want.

 

With all of us going our seperate ways for college, we've grown apart and grown up. Nowadays, it's all focus on going out and having a drink, which i'm all up for, definately. Last time i was out with them, however, i got really upset (i didnt show it, took it all on the chin, until i got home) some guys who we met up with swarmed around my friends like flies.

 

I know that im the least attractive out of my friends, and possibly one of the shyest. But, it still hurts when all your friends are getting the attention that you'd really like to have. But, don't get me wrong, good for them for getting the attention!

 

I've just found lately that i'd like to have someone to spoil and brag about, and possibly someone to love? I know i have the ability to make someone feel special, and see them as perfect in my eyes. I'd just like to find someone who can do that for me, is it too much to ask?

 

Thanks for reading, hope i didnt bore you too much and that i didnt sound too dramatic! All advice welcome by the way =]

 

 

SimpleGirl*

[Suiyobi]

Yeah I can relate. In fact, I've been feeling this way for the past several months now. You've probably heard the advice that you should just let nature take its course and eventually someone will come into your life. Well, if you've been doing this for all this time then it's sensible to switch gears: Take the initiative to find that special person. And it might mean having to make some major changes in your life, such as your overall appearance as well as overcoming your shyness. I won't lie to you, implementing such changes is not going to be easy but it'll be worth it in the end. But on the same token, as you obviously should know, just because you apply these changes does not necessarily mean the first man you meet will like you. But it's the constant rejections/break-ups/heartaches that'll help you become a better person, in my opinion.

 

Anyway, I know you can do it so fight on!

[monkey00]

Yep same here. There's a popular saying that you'll find happiness if you aren't looking for it, which is true I find.

 

I'm one of the few people at my company who aren't in some kind of relationship. And while everyone else is, you can't help but feeling left out. But this is one of those things in life where you should just take it with a grain of salt. Being with someone isn't the end all be all of your life as there are so many great things to be proud of being single that you're capable of doing. I admit loneliness sucks, but it's better off being with someone you're miserable with.

 

Because if you go out there and make it a priority of yours to find someone, you'll easily crash and burn - because there are too much expectations at stake.

 

However if you want to increase your opportunities to meet a mate, I say go for it. I'd suggest trying speed dating, social events, clubs, gyms, activities that involve both sexes.

[SimpleGirl.]

Yep same here. There's a popular saying that you'll find happiness if you aren't looking for it, which is true I find.

 

I'm one of the few people at my company who aren't in some kind of relationship. And while everyone else is, you can't help but feeling left out. But this is one of those things in life where you should just take it with a grain of salt. Being with someone isn't the end all be all of your life as there are so many great things to be proud of being single that you're capable of doing. I admit loneliness sucks, but it's better off being with someone you're miserable with.

 

Because if you go out there and make it a priority of yours to find someone, you'll easily crash and burn - because there are too much expectations at stake.

 

However if you want to increase your opportunities to meet a mate, I say go for it. I'd suggest trying speed dating, social events, clubs, gyms, activities that involve both sexes.

 

I've found that by putting myself out there and really overcome challanges, i do crash and burn more easily. And it's tough to take and it gets soooo frustrating and annoying. I just get fed up of sometimes being 'that friend' who has nothing better to do then listen to friends' relationship problems. Not that i mind, but, when you want what they have.. it becomes quite.. tedious?

 

Thanks for the advice! =]

 

SimpleGirl*

[LovehateLove]

I see a few red flags in you; red flags are deal breakers for most people. First you are looking too much and placing too much emphasis into having a relationship. You strike me as a person who feels the needs to be in relationship as opposed to wanting one. I avoid women like this, because relationships are supposed to be about enjoyment and happiness, not reliance and dependency. Change your view point.

 

You also need to be comfortable being on your own and being single. You need to be happy with in your own skin and this is where self improvement comes into play i.e. change of clothes, new hairstyle. Anything to make you feel sexier and gives you more confidence. Confidence is key. More so in men, but it’s just as important in women. I like a woman who is assertive, a confident woman is a sexy woman. A woman who goes after what she wants is a sexy woman.

 

Maybe you are trying to hard, there is such a saying and I have found the old cliché of “when you don’t look for someone, that someone walks into your life” to be true. I think when a person is searching desperately they omit subconsciously desperate vibes and desperation isn’t an attractive trait.

 

Try and find out if any of your girlfriends boyfriends friends are single and if you like the look at one or more of them, date them and see if you have any luck that way.

[paddington bear]

I think you need to look at your friends, what are they doing that you aren't. Follow their example - hey if it works for them.

 

On the topic of friends, female friends can sometimes pigeon-hole you, they might be quite happy to have you there as the quiet one who doesn't distract attention from them. If you try to change, they may not like it and could try to keep you as you are (this happened to me and it's not very nice believe me). See if you can make some new friends, just to mix it up a bit, what would a night out be like with a different crowd? Would you find yourself blossoming because they don't have expectations of what you are from the past? If you find that you are still being the one ignored or asked for advice about other girls or whatever, then I would say that the problem lies with you and your own thoughts about yourself and that you need to work on becoming someone who is sure of herself, flirty and relaxed.

 

Are you really the 'least attractive of your friends' or are you lacking in confidence? I have a friend who is, shall we say, a large lady, but she was so outgoing, confident and bubbly that men swarmed around her, leaving the traditionally pretty girls ignored. Confidence is attractive to everyone and I know when you don't get attention from the opposite sex and feel lonely that whatever confidence you did have starts to get less and less and you kind of end up fading into the background - it's a vicious circle.