clia Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 Ever read anything around da Shack and think "Wow! That is excellent advice?" Of course you do! One of the other advice sites I go to has a "Classics" thread, whereby anyone can copy and paste any advice they read or received on the site that they found to be particularly insightful or inspirational. I think it's a nice way to put the best of the best into one thread. It can be a line, a paragraph, etc. Whatever floats your boat. But don't get out of hand... So...let's try to make this an ongoing thing! Does everyone like this idea? Ground Rules: (1) Name the poster who gave the advice to give credit where credit is due. (2) Do not "classic" yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 I have no idea if i am doing this right, but I know I have said it....but here are two things 1) If they can do it with you, they can do it to you 2) My mom said "Do not ever stay with anyone because of fear" Fear being anything- not finding a better mate; fear they will hurt you, fear of being alone, etc. these are important ideas, i think Link to post Share on other sites
Author clia Posted August 4, 2003 Author Share Posted August 4, 2003 With that, I'll start. I chose this particular post because it seems like the "space" question comes up a lot around here, and I think Curt did a great job of explaining it the roots of it... Originally posted by Curt: It's my opinion that the desire of partners to have "space" after a long stretch can happen for any number of (or all) the following reasons: 1. To have time to assess the "real" quality and emotional/physical/psychological reciprocity of the relationship. In other words, to see if you both meet each other's personal (even intimate) needs and desires, and to determine if you have (as a couple) what it takes to stand the hard testing that time deals out. 2. To assess what one wants and needs from life, as far as education, personal accomplishments, etc. are concerned, and to decide whether their long-term relationship fits into the picture. Sometimes, personal goals for career, family, etc. are completely incompatible with the life that one's partner desires. If I want to go teach the orphans in Central Africa, and a partner of mine wants to sell mutual funds on Wall Street, then clearly our life goals are incompatible. Even if we would give our lives to spare the other, we have a need for different life accomplishments which are incompatible overall. 3. To pursue the business of an "unexplored" relationship with another person who may have always held a certain fascination, etc. Sometimes there is that one person that we just cannot forget, that invades our thought processes at the most inexplicable junctures. Sometimes, people just can't refuse themselves the desire to see where a relationship with that person could have gone. The most extreme case of this of course, is if the mystery person has been tugging at heart strings, deepening this curiosity to the point where things have been put asunder. 4. To take a "break" from the "stresses" of longterm, everyday "coupledom". Being with the same person, their needs, their desires, etc., day after day (especially since your teens for 10 years, without ever having seen things from a "Single adult"angle) can become monotonous. Your experiences with others as individuals have been rare to non-existant. At some point in a situation like this, one would have expected one of you to have gotten that "wanderin' feeling". You were both very very young...and you are right...she has never seen adult life without you. She is probably curious to find it ... may have nothing to do with a love interest. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 tony's usually pretty much on the money, so please share, Big Guy! one of the best bits of advice I've ever gotten was from my best friend in college, who told me "Don't sell yourself short." Some pretty good words to take to heart, especially when we look around and see picture-perfect models and celebrities and bash ourselves when we think we can't compete. Another adage I've found valuable is, "If it looks/sounds too good to be true, it probably is." Link to post Share on other sites
Author clia Posted August 4, 2003 Author Share Posted August 4, 2003 Maybe my instructions aren't clear? If you see something Tony or anyone else posts around here, and you think it's good stuff that everyone else should read, copy and paste it into this thread, and give that poster credit. This kind of thread is nice for people who don't have time to read every single thread or who may not read a thread because they don't think it's up their alley. In this way, no one misses all the good advice! I'd like to limit this thread to Loveshack advice only--maybe I should have called the thread "The Best Of..." If you want to start another thread about advice from mom or anyone else in real life, feel free to start another thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Posted August 7, 2003 Board of Directors Share Posted August 7, 2003 For those interested, I've split of the posts discussing the idea of a "Classic Advice" area of the forum into a new thread in the LoveShack.org Questions and Comments forum. Please post comments on the idea there. Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 Originally posted by clia There's a saying that goes "love those who love you." Link to post Share on other sites
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