myeverything Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Hi Right now I'm really heartbroken over a LDR that has been going on for about 10 months. I'm 24 and have experience a fair bit of heartbreak in my life (possibly why I turned to the internet for this relationship to find someone 'real'). I struck up a relationship with a girl overseas, from the beginning we were always something more than "friends" but neither of us acted that way until mid April when we started talking about sex and the future. We made plans that in December I would fly to her country and pick her up to come home with me (at the time of saying this, I did not believe it would ever happen). Things developed and we were cutting off other things in our lives so we could spend time together (3-8 hours a day), literally thousands of dollars of texting and calling each other and in ways, more devotion and life plans than I've ever had with anyone. I understood the reasons she needed me in her life and her reasons for wanting to come and stay with me, without even considering the love in the relationship. About 2 weeks ago we talked on MSN, cammed, exchanged words of love and parted. Everything was as it always had been. However, this time she did not come back. She sent me a message saying that her life was in a shambles over her lack of current interest in the internet (summer in her country), problems at work and in her life. She tried to calm my fears the relationship was over. However since then I have been receiving the silent treatment, by every form of contact (she won't even answer phone calls). This initially freaked me out and I ended up pleading to know what was happening, how could she act this cold to someone she apparently loved? At this stage I am now accepting the relationship was over and I am not harbouring any kind of negative feelings toward her. My heart is broken and I find it difficult to perform normal, every day tasks such as eating, but I am also in a way realising that I can't ever let anyone treat me like that again! Not even her! Is it a normal thing, what she has done? If I keep up with NC, do you think she will ever talk to me again? We have a lot of mutual friends online and at this stage she hasn't blocked me or any of them, she is just not responding to anyone and has completely withdrawn interest. Have I already done too much, by showing her how weak of a person I can be that I will plead with her and send soppy messages begging for replies? Additional information: I started to notice her withdraw a bit before she went on holiday near the end of July. She told me it was only due to the season and everything would be ok. Things only got worse. I know she is going away on holiday for a few weeks in August, so NC will be easy, but at the same time feel futile Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 An internet relationship Never works unless u are super desperate and she is too...add to that its not just internet...its also ldr !!!! duude go meet real women...on the net u dont start to like her..u like the idea of her...u create her and u love that idea...not the HER....get it ?? now go out there and start looking Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Internet relationships do NOT mean that the person is desperate. LDR's dont either. I've been in real life relationships and LDR's(with the same person both times, however), and by far, the LDR is much much better simply because you have to accommodate for not seeing each often with communication. I'm much much more in love with my SO right now than I have been with anyone else I've ever been with. In your case, though I would just let her go. Send her a message telling her that you will be there for her when she gets her life back together, but that until then you wont contact her. Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 LDR is not the main reason for failed relationships...but building feelings towards someone based on internet interaction is the main resaon for failing....LDR accompanied with the internet based relationship is the crappy part....I say end it man...or wait...but its always much better to meet real life girls and get into THOSE relationships.. Link to post Share on other sites
disgracian Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I'm happily married from an internet relationship, so engravefeelthevoid's comments smack of ignorance. The people at either end are just as "real" as the dropkicks and date rapists you'd meet at a nightclub. Cheers, D. Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I'm happily married from an internet relationship, so engravefeelthevoid's comments smack of ignorance. The people at either end are just as "real" as the dropkicks and date rapists you'd meet at a nightclub. Cheers, D. I <3 you and I dont even know you! lol. Seriously, though. You're completely right. Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 ooookayyy....so when u have kids ur gonna tell them ur marriage was based on internet dating...hmm....how special Duuude ID laugh my ass out if u replied with "AND PROUD!!!!!" haha no insult to ur marriage but honestly...I think u just got lucky...or u r very careless about looks and character....... Link to post Share on other sites
Rollercoasterr Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Seriously, is there any particular reason that you're on the LDR forums? LDRS and relationships based on "internet" kind of dating have been around forever. Some people corresponded for years through letters before ever meeting, some of them never meeting, and they were in love. My great grandparents were from Ireland and they fell in love through letters. They wrote letters to each other for 15 years before they ever met. So dont you dare tell me that it's not a romantic story, because it is. If two people can overcome odds like that, then love truly holds no bounds. I remember hearing that story when I was 6 or 7 and I thought it was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. But it takes a certain kind of person to give themselves completely to someone they've never met. Obviously you're not that kind of person, so I wouldn't expect you to know. Link to post Share on other sites
disgracian Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 ooookayyy....so when u have kids ur gonna tell them ur marriage was based on internet dating...hmm....how special They, along with every other child in the developed world (apart from the Amish and other luddites) will grow up with the internet, so I doubt they will find it even remotely unusual. So, other than a poorly-defined bigotry and atrocious grammar, do you actually have a point to make here? Duuude ID laugh my ass out if u replied with "AND PROUD!!!!!" Don't worry; I think it's you who is being laughed at in this case. haha no insult to ur marriage but honestly...I think u just got lucky...or u r very careless about looks and character....... I like it when people say "no insult, but..." and then go on to say something insulting and small-minded. It's like you got to the end of your post and realised you hadn't made it quite obnoxious enough, so you threw that one in for good measure. Cheers, D. Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I enjoy people like you you guys have a feeling of being incomplete...that's why you go around trying to fight for what small thing u got u know....it's soo nice i can imagine u telling people that u met through the internet u remind me of Napoleon Dynamites cousin...He had no love life but that of the internet because he was too scared to meet real girls...the internet was alot easier... and about dissing my post....I don't usually feel humiliated when someone who has no life tells me to get a life......you felt you were at the point of no return and had nothing to say therefore you turned to my post and dissected it hehehehe typical scene !!! duude I should start an internet business introducing people like you together...society is full of you people..... Link to post Share on other sites
disgracian Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Let me make sure I understand this. I'm the one who is happily married and according to you I feel incomplete and have no life. Yet according to your own biography on this forum (and let me quote verbatim), "emotions not working out with me,girls started to seem farfetched,so I'm on the forum here for hope". Oh, I do love the delicious irony. Thanks for the best laugh I've had all week. Good luck with that internet business. Send me the URL when you get it up and running. Cheers, D. Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 what ever makes u sleep at night just remember everyday of ur life u proceed with ur wife that ur marriage is based on 0's and 1's NOTHING MORE !!! and about my profile ive had it for 8 years now I'm now in the best relationship ever with a woman I met at work :-) We enjoyed telling eachother I love you face to face....falling for eachothers' eyes and asking her out on a date face to face I may have that biography written 6 years ago...but I want you to remember how desperate u were till u finally gave up and went to the internet.... I FOUGHT BACK AND WENT TO THE REAL WORLD...U GAVE UP AND WENT THE COWARDS WAY OUT...0's and 1's I won't be reading anymore of this empty crap....U reminded me of a whore during business....We passed by as she was getting some in the street when she called my friend a SOB....entertaining Link to post Share on other sites
disgracian Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 You joined in 2004, so you are clearly lying about your bio being 4 years older than your account. But nothing about you really adds up does it? You seem remarkably prejudicial towards the internet given that you came to an internet forum in hope of finding love in the first place. Cheers, D. Link to post Share on other sites
Author myeverything Posted September 2, 2008 Author Share Posted September 2, 2008 Nice of you to hijack the thread into a flame war, engravefeelthevoid, don't criticise something you don't fully understand. It's not like I searched the internet for someone, that person just presented themselves in an unexpected place and we realised what a perfect match we were for each other, life being what you make it, we made plans to live together next year. Anyway.. the girl fell in love with one of her long time friends after he was persistent with her.. and she didn't have the heart to tell me. I told myself not to get into this from the beginning, but some emotions just overtook my sense. The relationship with the guy turned out really bad but she got pregnant by error (she's allergic to both the pill and condoms and he came inside of her by accident). So yeah her life is going downhill quick and there's nothing more I can offer her. Pretty sad. Link to post Share on other sites
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