6 months later

[BackonTrack]

6 Months & No word.

 

I find that I am forgetting my EX.

I find that I can no longer remember the warm feeling she provided to me.

My ex cheated on me, yet I feel we were both at fault in this relationship.

I think I have forgiven her.

I want nothing but her return, but I know she is not coming back as I had

no contact in the last 5 months.

 

I know one day she will realize I am not the bad guy, but I fear it will be years

from now when I have moved on and no longer desire her back and when she has matured.

 

 

Somedays I just want to go to sleep and not wake up, that I want to give up the fight,

but not because of the EX. The ex brought light and sunshine in my world, she gave me

something to look forward too, someone to care about, now I don't have that anymore.

 

 

I find it rather difficult to find a suitable replacement as she set the bar high, and

was not a easy girl to obtain. I am no longer in school so my pickings are limited.

 

My mind tells me there is no coming back from her actions, I find myself fighting

my subconcious to not hate her. I fear I am losing this battle.

 

I come on these forums every morning, it has become a habbit, a habbit I must

break as this prolongs the memories I have of my EX.

 

I have spent enough time on this topic, roughly 10 minutes out my day to

remember what once was, now I wonder if I should even make this post.

 

I want to reach out and send a message but that will serve no purpose,

I am sure the ex no longer cares.

 

I called the ex twice in this 6 month period, she didn't pick up.

The first time was 3 weeks after the breakup, the second was about 3 weeks ago.

 

This was my first relationship, this was my first love, she was my first girlfriend.

It lasted 8 months.

She had an affair for 3 months,

Left me 1 year in, started coming back 4 months later.

Vanished again after I found out.

Told me to never contact her again after I broke up with her.

Told me to stop harassing her after I sent her an email calling her a whore.

No word in 4 months.

The girl is 20, just turned 21.

[crystal_lostheart]

You probably right - if you believe she is not thinking about you then try your hardest to move on and stop thinking about her. Spend this time healing instead of asking questions about the past R. You have your whole life ahead of you - use it for yourself - put yourself first

Good Luck

[Meaplus3]

6 Months & No word.

 

I find that I am forgetting my EX.

I find that I can no longer remember the warm feeling she provided to me.

My ex cheated on me, yet I feel we were both at fault in this relationship.

I think I have forgiven her.

I want nothing but her return, but I know she is not coming back as I had

no contact in the last 5 months.

 

I know one day she will realize I am not the bad guy, but I fear it will be years

from now when I have moved on and no longer desire her back and when she has matured.

 

 

Somedays I just want to go to sleep and not wake up, that I want to give up the fight,

but not because of the EX. The ex brought light and sunshine in my world, she gave me

something to look forward too, someone to care about, now I don't have that anymore.

 

 

I find it rather difficult to find a suitable replacement as she set the bar high, and

was not a easy girl to obtain. I am no longer in school so my pickings are limited.

 

My mind tells me there is no coming back from her actions, I find myself fighting

my subconcious to not hate her. I fear I am losing this battle.

 

I come on these forums every morning, it has become a habbit, a habbit I must

break as this prolongs the memories I have of my EX.

 

I have spent enough time on this topic, roughly 10 minutes out my day to

remember what once was, now I wonder if I should even make this post.

 

I want to reach out and send a message but that will serve no purpose,

I am sure the ex no longer cares.

 

I called the ex twice in this 6 month period, she didn't pick up.

The first time was 3 weeks after the breakup, the second was about 3 weeks ago.

 

This was my first relationship, this was my first love, she was my first girlfriend.

It lasted 8 months.

She had an affair for 3 months,

Left me 1 year in, started coming back 4 months later.

Vanished again after I found out.

Told me to never contact her again after I broke up with her.

Told me to stop harassing her after I sent her an email calling her a whore.

No word in 4 months.

The girl is 20, just turned 21.

 

While I can understand that it might be tempting to reach out and send a message, DON'T do it! Breaking NC will just cause you more pain and heartache. It appears you have made the decesion to move on.. now stick with it. Try and distract yourself with other intrests in order to keep your mind off her. You can do this. Stay strong.

 

AP:)

[nowhereman82]

OP pointed out something I am curious about. Seems there are a lot of people still active on the board regularly that have been seperated more than a year.

 

OP said being on the board every day just keeps the memory a live. Is this true for everyone?

 

I feel personally it does but in a way it's also been therapeutic for me. Gives me a place to ground and to find different perspectives to my issues that are similar to others.

 

The day I stop posting is the day I have found inner peace

[nopainnogain]

Well its been 6 months 4 me and I still post here. I have made so much progress that I never thought I would be at this point. Granted, I still have a lot of improving to do on my character and self esteem. But I think I will always come here to see whats up. To give advice where I can and read everyones insights on life. Its really awsome. People are really in touch with there feelings here. I wish I could meet the same kind of ppl in real life that I find here.