telling my feeling, breaking my friend's couple

[jo1nah]

I really like0 my friend a lot and I wanted to tell her my feeling, but she got back with her ex boyfriend before I had the chance to ask her out.

 

While she and her ex were broken up, He did and say some bad stuff to her, I know he doesn't deserve her, he doesn't know what she's really worth. But you know it just click back again as she said to me, she loves the guy. I just want to make her see the big picture.

 

I even consider to break them up, but I would loose her. Not tell her his literally eating me up inside. What should I do?

[yagottahelp]

you have no right to break up any couple. You can be yourself, and if she's attracted to that, that's one thing, but yuo have no right to add confusion to it. Frankly, if I were the other guy, I would let you know how pissed off I was for you to do that.

[midori]

If you really think that her boyfriend said and/or did some things that are truly bad (not just a bit spiteful or angry, after all you said this occurred while they were apart), then you might want to tell her. You have to really think about it though. For example, calling her names is really not a big deal, and bringing a petty thing like that to her attention will not make you look good at all.

 

Bottom line: if you were not romantically interested in your friend, is this information that you have something that you would feel you must tell her? That's a good litmus test.

 

As for telling her your feelings... I wouldn't. At least not in conjunction with telling her about the bad things her boyfriend did. If you want to tell her how you feel about her then you should just tell her that, and leave out the stuff about her boyfriend. Telling her both things would make it look as though you were being malicious about her boyfriend in order to win her for yourself.

 

And if you do decide to tell her how you feel, you ought to be prepared to lose her friendship if she rejects you. That's a very real possibility, and if it happens things will be awkward between the two of you.

 

Maybe the best thing to do will be to do nothing and see how things work out between her and her boyfriend. In the meantime try to meet someone who isn't dating another guy.

[cliche_boy]

"I just want to make her see the big picture."

 

Lemme gues, she comes to you with problems, which she shouldnt do, and cos you only see 1 side of the story u agree with her? And thats something special you have? You're so good together? You're so simmilar? Well as individuals you are just that, there is no such thing as 2 people being alike, it only seems that way cos you're hearing 1 side of the story and agreeing with her, think that the 2 of you are the same and so good together - this is how affairs start. There's a reason y in a judicial system we have defence lawyers - so we can have a more accuarate grasp on the reality of a situation. Its you who doesnt and wouldnt "see the big picture", its impossible. You said you want to break them up, well i can garantee you did break them up the 1st time. Instead of her talking to her boyfriend about her problems, she came to you. You seem like an immature listener whos inexperienced and all you could do was make her situation worse for her by joining in the bitching about her bf and making her even more worried. Instead of trying to fix the problem, offer her different angles of looking at it from, offer a possibility she may not have thought of, offer her advice on she could go about the compromise in order to fix the problem. Or you could just go the unexperienced immature listener stlye and have nothing to contribute except for joining in the bitching. Ya dont see older wiser people do that do ya, thats y they are mature.