Question for Guys 40 - 50

[vonerik012]

Almost, why are you constantly telling men what they want? Or thinking you know what they want.. College grads in the work place might marry other college grads, because that is whom they are around. College grads who are business owners could not care less if a woman has a degree. I actually know several "professional" men that married women that do not have any degree.

 

Getting a degree in accounting does not make a woman "mentally stimulating". Some women who never went to college are very well versed in history, politics, psychology, current events, etc. That is what is mentally stimulating. Not some courses you took in college.

 

COMPLETELY different for men. THEY DO NOT CARE IF YOU HAVE A DEGREE AT ALL.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

 

COMPLETELY different for men. THEY DO NOT CARE IF YOU HAVE A DEGREE AT ALL.

 

 

Not where I live.

[almost famous]

Not where I live.

Not here,either. Every guy I go out with has told me they wanted someone who was their equal. My last serious relationship he was divorced from a woman who had no degree and no intention of getting one, and he said before he married her he had doubts that he should have gone with his first instincts, to marry someone his equal in that way (education and professionally.) Pretty much every guy I know says that.

My coworkers chose their mates because they were more compatible and education and background have a lot to do with that.

This is a sore subject with Vonerik for some reason.

[vonerik012]

Well I have a degree, and I know that I could not care less if a female has one.. It does not make you more interesting at all.

 

It's really funny when women think they know so much about men..

 

What have I learned....

 

Age does not matter a man.

 

But having a degree matters. LOL

[Kamille]

It's really funny when women think they know so much about men..

 

 

With all due respect to freedom of speech Von, it's funny that you think you know so much about men too.

 

Who died and made you their spokesperson?

[vonerik012]

Woggle said he does not care if a woman has a degree.. Then women post to tell him he is wrong! lol

 

I know many college grads that are completely lost when it comes to any type of real conversation, They are boring. Many people who did not go to college are fascinating. You think a man will meet a woman, be very into her, and then find out she does not have a degree, so it is all over..lol yeah right. Just because some shallow women might do that, it does not mean that men do.

 

Men are concerned with looks, sex, and how you treat them. Not if you have a BA, or an associates degree, or no degree. Many successful men marry women that barely speak English.

 

Women just want to tell men what they should want , if it is what they have. If you are older with a degree, then men want that!

[Kamille]

Woggle said he does not care if a woman has a degree.. Then women post to tell him he is wrong! lol

 

I know many college grads that are completely lost when it comes to any type of real conversation, They are boring. Many people who did not go to college are fascinating. You think a man will meet a woman, be very into her, and then find out she does not have a degree, so it is all over..lol yeah right. Just because some shallow women might do that, it does not mean that men do.

 

You think a woman will meet a man, be very into him, find out he doesn't have a degree, so it is all over... lol yea right.

 

I have friends, university professors, who are dating mechanics and plumbers. Again, not all women are shallow, just like some men might be attracted to women who have a professional career.

 

Not everyone is looking for the same thing. Sure, there are tendencies. Most people will marry someone who has the same education level they do. Most men will date younger women. All? No.

 

Men are concerned with looks, sex, and how you treat them. Not if you have a BA, or an associates degree, or no degree. Many successful men marry women that barely speak English.

 

Right... And it's women you're accusing of being shallow???

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Many successful men marry women that barely speak English.

 

How convenient. They can have sex, be arm candy, and care for their man, and yet they will have no needs of their own, or at least no way to voice them.

[Capricciosa]

Well I have a degree, and I know that I could not care less if a female has one.. It does not make you more interesting at all.

 

 

Yeah, but it makes her easier to push around, and no threat to your intelligence or status. How convenient--goes well with being so much younger than you that she doesn't have the experience to figure out she's with a dinosaur. So you go for it, Von--all the young and uneducated women await you and will gladly have your babies. Face it, someone your age wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole.

[almost famous]

vonerik, just because educational background/intellect isn't important to you doesn't mean it isn't important to other guys. It totally is.

[vonerik012]

LOL

 

I am saying men do not care if a woman has a college degree... What is so horrible about that statement?

 

Do you think the American College system is turning out fascinating geniuses?

 

Do you think men sit around with their wives talking about college classes, calculus, accounting, and chemistry?

 

Now kamille is saying the exact same thing I am... She is even saying a college degree does not matter to a college educated woman!

 

Cherry, any man would rather be with a sweet kind woman that did not go to college, than a bitchy college grad, if those were his 2 choices.

 

Why not concentrate on being a woman, instead of trying to tell men what they want, and do not want.

 

Trust me, intellect does not equal having a watered down college degree that 70 million Americans have..

[almost famous]

You can't speak for a LOT of men. I know from 1. men I've been in relationships 2. men I know 3. men who married someone and what is important to them in a partner.

Just like looks are a factor for you, educational background/career and what they've accomplished with themselves is also a part of the picture for other guys.....lots of them. They want a woman who can bring something more to the table besides looks and sex.

[vonerik012]

What is the overall point some of you are trying to make?

 

You forgot how to be feminine, and appeal to men, so you want to use your college degree as a selling point? It won't work.

[almost famous]

Uh....women can have a career and be soft and feminine and hot. When your young wife decides she has had enough of you, she needs to have something to fall back on.

People, now Vonerik is saying that the women in college are not hot, they are all unfeminine.

 

LOL

[vonerik012]

If you are soft, feminine, and hot you will have no problem finding a man. If you have a degree, or not.

 

having a degree will in no way compensate for a lack of any of the above traits.

 

Yeah almost, keep twisting...

[almost famous]

Of course I can find a man. It just takes more than basic requirements. I'm not settling for just anyone. Just like many men won't just settle for an uneducated woman. They want the whole package, which also includes a deep passionate love and intellectual and emotional compatibility.

[Lovelybird]

I think different age has different appeal, no necessary to compete with each other. when you are young, maybe the sexual appeal is number 1. when you grow older, sexual appeal still exist, may not as strong as when you were young, but your wisdom and grace increase. If women don't develop the part they should, instead to try to make sexual appeal the number 1, the effort is futile and in the end bring frustration to self.

 

A confident woman is always sexy, not only sexy but also have dignity. I think sexy connects to dignity, if you lose dignity you cannot be real sexy, maybe slutty. So I think the major problem still lie in own attitude, are you dominated by superfical standards, or are you dominated by inner strength.

 

women at different stages have different appeals, learn to make the appeal at the stage shine as best as we can is the best thing to do IMO. and outer beauty wears out easily, but inner beauty cannot, it increases. If a man doesn't appreciate you, then it is their loss

 

If you truely get this, then no necessary to get upset about aging or get upset about what others say about aging. A 20' something can feel old, and a 40' something can feel young. And 40' 50' something don't have to date young to feel young

[DMoon]

No he's not, but he's probably making a mistake if he believes that in posting on a very mainstream message board he's going to get the kind of advice he probably wants to hear. The likelihood is that he'll get conventional opinions....and convention says that women generally prefer taller men.

 

He either accepts that and gives up on his quest to have a tall girlfriend...or he decides "to hell with it. I'm going to give it a go anyway."

 

There are lots of people who don't comply with convention. Who find they don't want the things that sociologists and anthropologists decree they should want.....but because the norm is for women to want taller men, any tall woman our 5 ft 4" guy gets is going to have to be a bit unconventional. If he doesn't like non-conformists, then he probably needs to drop his dream of a tall girlfriend, because a tall, conservative-minded girl probably won't go against the grain and hook up with someone of his height. If he does like them, and is a non-conformist himself, he has a higher chance of getting a tall girlfriend who is a little more unusual in her personality and tastes...in a way that he can relate to and enjoy.

 

People with conventional outlooks and tastes find it hard to understand those who don't share them. Conservative types and subversives often don't mesh very well, so if you're very conservative and traditional in your outlook, it might be difficult for you to understand the mindset of a man who's a little more out there. A subversive and non-conformist of a woman might actually have a better insight into that man's thinking than you do. Just as you might have a better understanding of how the conservative, traditional woman thinks and perceives things.

 

A conventional older woman will probably want a man her age or older....in just the way that you feel she should. What you're talking about is less conventional women who aren't overly fussed about age. Now sure, there's a chance that her radical young guy will discover a more conservative side to himself after a few years of shagging the older lady, but the thing is that non-conformists tend to be bigger risk takers in general. Which means they're that bit better equipped to deal with an outcome like that...because they're more used to taking risks and sometimes losing.

 

If someone's of that mindset and that temperament, you won't change them by preaching convention and "what most men want" at them. The average man probably isn't what an unconventional woman is looking for, or who she could ever find any happiness with. She'll find that happiness with someone a little more unusual. He might be ten years older or ten years younger...but they'll understand eachother in ways that you don't realise, because it's too difficult for you to see beyond simple, familiar symbols of what most people want.

 

Thanks I appreciate this post. I have already internalized a lot of the negative ideas expressed about women as they age and their looks. Its scary to hear the unvarnished unfiltered truth regarding women as depreciating assets--in all respects. Lateral thinking, right brained--an unconvential approach is harder to cultivate and fight when the message is so clearly the opposite.

[Tomcat33]

Good genes or not, there's no way you can confuse a 54 for a 33, seriously. I'm sure she has excellent physical looks and looks younger..but not 33. I also have good genes; both grandmothers at 90+, eat healthy and exercise, but I believe I look very much my age; 31.

 

No offense to OP, but most older women are in denial of their age. I mean you can still be stunningly beautiful at 60 while looking your age, so I fail to get the idea of some people thinking drop dead gorgoeus = looking younger.

 

My older female colleagues at work used to ask me to guess their age; they believe I would never get it right because they look younger than their age. Guess what, I always get it right but for ego-stroking purposes I come up with an age 10 years less than the actual age I know they are, and they go like "see, I knew you'll never get it right!". Really sad.

 

I know age doesn't really matter to dudes, but I just find this habit of most women denying their real age a bit annoying.

 

I am looking at your picture you definitely look 30.

 

 

My best friend is 40 and she looks like she is 22. She looks like a little girl. I work with another woman that is 38 and she looks like she is 19. Asian women tend to look a LOT younger. My mother is 67 and people always think she is only in her early 50's strangers will say this to her out of the blue (so what the whole world is conspiring to uplift my mom's self esteem? And unsolicited?:laugh: ) . My sister is 35 and she looks like she is 25. I look younger than my age too (we are not Asian but our gene pool is from a line of women that age without wrinkles) My mom's hands even at 67 look like a woman's hand's of 30. Some ehtnicities just age differently.

 

Seriously you need to get out more, I can understand your theory for those cosmetic surgery junkies that live in Hollywood who are in denial but when a woman is natural and still looks a lot younger there is no denial happening some people just age less than others.

[Jersey Shortie]

I have friends, university professors, who are dating mechanics and plumbers. Again, not all women are shallow, just like some men might be attracted to women who have a professional career.

 

 

That's hot.

 

 

 

 

Do you think men sit around with their wives talking about college classes, calculus, accounting, and chemistry?

 

Errr actually yes. I have had many boyfriends that I sat around discussing college classes with. And I actually dated a very smart man that ended up breaking it off because I know he didn't think I was as intelligent as him. And I wasn't, not in the same ways despite having a good time together, laughing and even though we had amazing sexual chemistry. But I know the barrier in are intelligence was an issue for him.

 

Thanks I appreciate this post. I have already internalized a lot of the negative ideas expressed about women as they age and their looks. Its scary to hear the unvarnished unfiltered truth regarding women as depreciating assets--in all respects. Lateral thinking, right brained--an unconvential approach is harder to cultivate and fight when the message is so clearly the opposite.

 

It's hard not to internalize considering alot of the disparaging comments about women in this thread. Men certainly don't want to be useless as they get older but some of them seem to get pleasure at trying to make women feel that way.

[vonerik012]

Lovely bird made an excellent point.

 

If you are an older female, you have different strengths and weaknesses than a younger woman. You should concentrate on those strengths.

 

If a man wants a younger woman for her youth and fertility, you CANNOT compete with that. Stop trying to say you think you look 15 years younger, or you saw a 70 yr old on tv have a kid.

 

A smart older woman will use her strengths to get a man, and keep him. Trying to look, act, or compete with a 25 yr old does not accentuate those strengths.

[Jersey Shortie]

If a man wants a younger woman for her youth and fertility, you CANNOT compete with that.

 

Either can an older man.

 

Stop trying to say you think you look 15 years younger, or you saw a 70 yr old on tv have a kid.

 

Again, that goes the same for men.

 

 

A smart older woman will use her strengths to get a man, and keep him. Trying to look, act, or compete with a 25 yr old does not accentuate those strengths.

 

 

Once again, this is good advice for older men as well.

 

 

But to be honest Vonerik, by your posts, even if man goes for an older lady she is screwed no matter what because the only thing you ever say that matters for a man is her age. If that's true, even the current younger woman is screwed because she is only going to get older and we all know from such kind and gracious men like Vonerik how men feel about that. Women aren't allowed to do anything so human.

[Kamille]

That's hot.

 

Isn't it? You should see the guys too! Athletic, funny and easy-going.

 

One of them met her mechanic husband in her forties, at the repair shop. She's a bad driver and she kept having fender-benders. He owned the repair shop in her neighbourhood. They're one of my favorite couples.

 

He doesn't have kids. I guess he wasn't looking for a fertile young woman, just someone he could get along with.

 

I've dates guys who don't have a degree and find that the biggest problem is that they eventually feel intimidated by my career.

[Tomcat33]

Lovely bird made an excellent point.

 

If you are an older female, you have different strengths and weaknesses than a younger woman. You should concentrate on those strengths.

 

If a man wants a younger woman for her youth and fertility, you CANNOT compete with that. Stop trying to say you think you look 15 years younger, or you saw a 70 yr old on tv have a kid.

 

A smart older woman will use her strengths to get a man, and keep him. Trying to look, act, or compete with a 25 yr old does not accentuate those strengths.

 

The same advice goes to men, there are just as many men trying to be

10 yrs younger, just visit any dating site any man above 40 the first thing he will say is "I am a young 40 and look and feel younger"

 

Face it we live in a youth obsessed society, quit pawning this pathalogy off on women like it's just the women that adhere to this attitude.

[Jersey Shortie]

I've dates guys who don't have a degree and find that the biggest problem is that they eventually feel intimidated by my career.

 

I've had dates with men with Ivy League educations and they weren't nearly as smart and wonderful as they thought they were. My father never went to college and is one of the brightest men I know who ran his own businesss for generations.

 

"I am a young 40 and look and feel younger"

 

That's true Tomcat. I've had alot of guys hit on me say they were 40 BUT they felt like they were 25. Which was even more unattractive.

 

Face it we live in a youth obsessed society, quit pawning this pathalogy off on women like it's just the women that adhere to this attitude