scared Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 OK well here goes, my boyfriend and i have been together for 3.5 years now and i've always loved him more than anything else. the problem is i meet this other guy and i really like him too,we've talked, kissed,hugged etc but haven't taken it any further than that, i really like this guy and wouldn't mind going all the way but i know we can't, to make this problem even more confusing is that he has a girlfriend they too have been together forever, please i need your help ASAP, i don't know what to do i'm so messed up and confused about all of it, i don't won't to hurt my boyfriend but i really like this guy and he's always on my mind please what can i do to fix this. don't get me wrong i still love my boyfriend and i don't won't him to get hurt i'm just not sure what to do. is it just something everyone goes through or is it me changing. Link to post Share on other sites
ThisGirlNameKD Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 It could be you changing, but even if you are in a relationship with someone it doesn't mean you won't be attracted to ther people. What you need to ask yourself is do you want to continue to act on those feelings with the other guy? Are you ready to see other people? What if I leave my boyfriend, but this new guy doens't leave his girlfriend? And if he does leave his girlfriend and hangs with me, could I trust him since he cheated on his girlfriend with me? Could he trust me since I've cheated on my boyfriend with him? If you're in a committed relationship with you boyfriend, and both of you are not seeing other people, he will be hurt. Even if you do decide to break up with your boyfriend and go with this guy, he still going to be hurt. So the only way you wouldn't hurt him is if stay with him and leave the other guy alone. There's no way you can be involved with them both, and your boyfriend does not get hurt. It's inevitable that it will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
glen1234567 Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 Hey scared, being torn between guys is a very hard place to be. I suggest taking a step back and looking at your life and these two guys. You have a history with the one, you used to feel things for him, you have to remember that. On the other hand, you have this intense attraction for another, and it seems all consuming. Emotions aside, who are these guys? 6 months from now, when the crush is gone, who will you want to be with? If you feel that your current boyfriend is the one you see a long term future with, then you should go cold turkey on the other guy. Can't see him, can't call or write or anything, go off him hard. You might be surprised at how quickly your feelings fade for your crush. Find why it is you've chosen your boyfriend. Find the love that's there, it may not be as intense, but it doesn't make it any less real. If you find yourself feeling that your boyfriend and you don't have a future, then you must end the relationship and see what happens with this other guy. The important distinction in all of this is "choice." You must make a decision. You can put it off for a while if you like, really search your soul about this and make the best decision you can, but in the end it's a choice. All the other options like having an open relationship etc. are very painful and messy and almost always end disastrously. Have a little courage, have some faith in your ability to do what's right for you, and make a decision. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
rambo469 Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 what type of relationship do you have with your b/f right now. and does he know the other guy? And where is your b/f now? Link to post Share on other sites
rambo469 Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 i know if my g/f was going through something like this I would like her to tell me instead of finding out later from someone else. cause trust me they usualy find out. and who knows he might forgive or even understand you. if he loves you and still loves you, you two can work to make it out or work out a deel. and good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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