stuck bad Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 I have fallen in love with a married woman; she does not have any kids and is willing to leave her husband. Where as I am married as well but have a 2 year old kid with her and also 2 kids from a previous marriage. My wife and I don't get along well, she is not working and since she is a new immigrant her English is not too good, we are Chinese by the way. In simple words she is not a smart person and will have a hard time if I leave her. I have a fairly good job and support the family. When I was recently divorced and very depressed when my family introduced my wife to me and I went for it. I don’t think I ever loved her. I truly know I will never be happy living with my wife because of the many differences we have, I don’t talk to her much now and she knows something is bothering me and is trying to be nice as to being stubborn and hot tempered like before. Then, 4 years back I meet this woman and since then we are madly in love and the thought of breaking up scares us to a point of suicide. We feel like we are soul mates. Her husband now wants a kid but she does not want to have his kid. This is causing lots of tears and pressure on us as we have to do something quick. I am a new member here and would like lots and lots of advice, please help. pn Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 Hi and welcome to LS. Let me ask you - IF this other woman wasn't in your life, would you still be having thoughts of leaving your wife? Would you be maybe trying to work on the marriage, make it better, talk to your wife about things? You need to decide to either end your marriage or fix it - Reguardless of what the OW does. It really isn't fair to your wife to do this to her. Maybe she's just as unhappy as you are in the marriage and wants out as well. You never know because it seems you don't talk to your wife. The other woman needs to do the same thing, reguardless of what you do. Fix or end her marriage. To continue having an affair isn't fair to your spouses, or your child. Link to post Share on other sites
Agent_99 Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 hmm, family loyalty vs personal happiness. Can you see yourself without your OW? Can you live with yourself if you leave your W, knowing that she will have a hard time? How did your W get by BEFORE you saved her from her stupidity? (sorry I think it's very wrong judgement to say a person isn't worth enough because they aren't as intelligent as someone else) If your OW is so unhappy in her marriage why doesn't she leave? Do you think that your relationship with OW has allowed your marriage to last as long as it has? If OW wasn't in your life would you still be married to your W? Do you really think your W is happy, since she obviously can tell your not all there for her? And finally, if anyone involved is suicidal then get your behinds into some counseling. Take some time to get the emotions down. It is too hard to make life choices when you are drowing in emotions. ~99 Link to post Share on other sites
Author stuck bad Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 ty all for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts