Our feelings on "open relationships"

[glen1234567]

A and B have what most people would call a healthy monogamous relationship, and have for some time. C comes along, and B is strongly attracted both emotionally and sexually (we all know how likely this is of the course of long-term relationships). What happens if A lets B do whatever he/she wants?

 

Of course, every relationship and situation is different, and there are always unique circumstances, but generally, can open relationships work? In the above situation, should A be rigid or flexible, and to what end? What are your feelings and/or personal anecdotes?

[bryanp]

In almost all cases open relationships lead to end of a strong monogomous relationship. Most people who love each other and are in a committed relationship feel enormous pain at the thought of having their partner being sexually pleased by another person.

It leads to jealously and self-esteem problems and is poison for the original relationship.

The situaltion you describe in the long run will fail for numerous reasons. First, if A allows B to be with C then B may end up falling in love with C and dumping A. Second, if C eventually leaves then B feels bad and blames the affair on A who allowed it. Thirdly,

down deep B will wonder if A really loved them then how could they allow them to have sex with C and thus B questions the love of A.

Finally, A will eventually experience anger and jealously for B wanting someone else in the first place and will always wonder when they are having sex whether B will be comparing and thinking of C when having sex with A.

The bottom line is if you wish to destroy your relationship and experience tremendous pain and self-esteem problems then have A allow B to have sex with C. I wish you luck but I believe counseling is something A and B needs more than anything.

Have A lying in bed thinking about B having sex with C and what do you think the result will be? A needs to wake up and get out of the fog.

[Tony T]

Most people tend to get into this open relationship thing after the passion and newness of their own relationship fizzles and they are looking for ways to put new sizzle into it. In my wildest imagination, I cannot see how letting a partner become freely involved with a third party or third parties of their choice can improve a relationship. I can easily see how it could screw it up, though.

 

There are very few people with the maturity to pull this sort of thing off, but I'm sure some do. Not often. Open marriage totally ends the committment the relationship started with.