confuse_kid Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 hi i'm a 25 yr old female, w/o bf. i have recently transferred to another department. recently, i noticed my boss is behaving rather friendly toward me. she is not my immediate superior and i rarely have direct reporting work repsonsibilites under her. She's 40 yr old, single, confident and attractive. there were a few times where we have intense eye contact but we simply smile without saying anything more. she holds high position in our company and usually carry herself in a dignify manner. i'm not sure whether its her high authority that make me shy and nervous around her. i'm sure she's awared of this as i bumped into her during lunch one day and she commented we should lunch and talk more to each other. she always make effort to initate small talk and crack jokes with me (only when other co-workers are not around , other co-worker are around her age). during random chatting in one of the corporate function, we were talking about age and birthday, she instantly pointed out i'm a scorpio just like her. i can feel a connection between us, due to similar traits that i see in her and myself and somehow i feel she's checking me out like commenting on my weight and diet however i just couldn't muster my courage to narrow the distance between us (due to our work relationship). i'm also confused by her small actions of concern, is she hitting on me subtlely or merely showing motherly love over her subordinate. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I would not make any assumptions that she is checking you out or is interested in you. She could be friendly to someone who clearly appears nervous to try to make you more comfortable. OR she could just be a friendly person. OR she could be interested in mentoring you. Women often talk about weight and diet and it has nothing to do with checking each other out! It's a common bond, since so many of us are concerned about it. Surely, you have had those conversations with your friends? Are you interested in her? Is that why you're asking? Because the last thing you should be doing is nurturing a crush on a superior at work. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Many female managers utilize the motherly approach because it's expected of them. Try not to read too much into it beyond connecting with a like person for the potential of a more friendly, conducive work environment. Regardless, keep it professional. You don't want to alienate your boss. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 From what you've wrote, I'm thinking she maybe seeking an informal mentor mentee relationship. I would not say she is checking you out but more like being friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
whattothink Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Take it as a compliment that she is interested in you, as someone that she can mentor. She sees potential in you and wants to help you grow as a professional. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confuse_kid Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 thx for the replies i'm not interested in her romantically just that her actions often lead me thinking on.. She did jokingly remarked am i interested in old woman since i'm not interested in old man but she quickly redivert the topic back to the men in our office and topic drifted to introducing guys to me! i would definitely like to keep our r/s professional but i guess there's no harm opening up and foster a closer r/s with the bosses. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 she quickly redivert the topic back to the men in our office and topic drifted to introducing guys to me! So you are a girl? And you think that your female boss being friendly wants to have some lesbian affair with you? Jesus... Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I would be cautious with this person. In my book she is behaving inappropriately, getting a little too personal too soon with a new subordinate. Always trust your gut. But in the meantime, take the high road and assume (in your behavior towards her) that that is the "way she is" with everyone. Have you noticed her behaving like this to other females at the office? As soon as you can, get connected into the office grapevine. If she is a predatory supervisor, you'll find out soon enough. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 ]She did jokingly remarked am i interested in old woman since i'm not interested in old man [/b]but she quickly redivert the topic back to the men in our office and topic drifted to introducing guys to me! Yeah, she may be bi or lesbian and (bolded part) she said that to see your reaction, test the waters so to speak. Be friendly but don't befriend her. OB is right, keep your distance. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 You don't have to open up to keep it on a professional but friendly work relationship. If you handle this casually, with no acknowledgement of anything beyond a business relationship, if she's the mentoring type you can still cultivate this to both your advantage. Link to post Share on other sites
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