Lover Posted March 23, 2000 Share Posted March 23, 2000 About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend and I mutually broke up and decided to stay friends(even though we still have sex). I guess things got tough after we moved in together because it was too early for us to do so(we've been together a year and a half and moved in together 6 months ago). Him working all the time and I was going to school and we both had our frustrations with other things and started taking it out on eachother. before we lived together he always told me how much he loved me but I would never say it back...I felt it but was afraid to say it. I never told him with words how much I felt for him which I regret. A week ago I met up with a guy I had been friends with for 6 years and we wound up kissing...that moment hit me like a brick. It made me realize how much I care for my ex and how much it's him I want to be with, I didn't want to be kissing anyone else. Anyway, I feel like I should tell my ex, who's still living with me, what happened and how I feel but I'm afraid of being rejected. What should I do? we're both in our early 20's. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 24, 2000 Share Posted March 24, 2000 Right off the bat, for God's sake, don't tell your ex you realized how much you miss him when you were kissing someone else. However, you do need to communicate with him and tell him your feelings. Everybody fears rejection but if you don't talk this out, you will be stuck where you are for a long time. Tell him you want to talk to him and go to a quiet place...and outdoor restaurant, a park...wherever it can be just you and him. Start out slow...and just lead up to telling him how much he means to you. But don't let it get too mushy. Also, don't suggest the two of you become an item again. That's his place to do. If after you pour your feelings out to him, he doesn't respond in a positive way, change the subject. Finish the evening on a friendly basis. Then you have to make some plans. You will be very cruel and abusive to yourself if you continue living with a guy who you really care about who does not respond to you. So if he doesn't come around after the talk, give yourself a bubble bath and a ticket to ride. Get away from him. Make other living arrangements and start seeing other people. We always want to hang around and try to make things work because we just don't want to go through the crap of finding someone new. Now, if you do move on and he comes around, let it be on your terms and don't make it so easy for him. Men like a challenge...they don't like women presenting themselves to them on a silve platter. That's essentially what you're going to be doing here so you've got to plan some serious strategy if you want to peak his interest again. Beyond letting him know you care, be unpredictable, unavailable, etc. as hard as it may be. It's just the only way you can see where this will go. My money is on the fact that there's another guy out there for you...but that's not what you're wanting to hear right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Lover Posted March 24, 2000 Share Posted March 24, 2000 I forgot to add that he is moving out at the end of this month. We both decided that would be best even just to be friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Shirley Posted March 25, 2000 Share Posted March 25, 2000 I forgot to add that he is moving out at the end of this month. We both decided that would be best even just to be friends. Hi! This guy doesn't care that you didn't tell him that you love him. All that matters to him is that you're still having sex with him. He's getting what he wants out of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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