allthemagic Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 so a few months ago I heard from a male friend of mine and my bfs that my bf had told him his ex was "the best sex he's ever had" I excused this away as guy talk and told my boyfriend how much it hurt me. It's been hard to recover from this, among the other things in our relationship (he used to compare me sexually to his past) So I've had a lot of inadequecy issues. the other day, our 'date night' I walk in from work and hear him talking to a friend about this same ex and how amazing she was. and the tone he used... I decided this was too much to deal with, too painful to ever feel comfortable having a growing, evolving sexual relationship with him. now he's saying that yeah the sex was better, but our relationship is better and that's whats i'mportant. but if that's true why would he keep bringing it up when he knew how much of a big deal it was the first time? I feel inhibited sexually with him and would not feel this way, having no baggage with someone new that I could grow sexually. I've lost all passion towards sex with him because i feel utterly defeated. i dont' know what to do because i love him and don't want to loose him. but regardless of this we havne't have the greatest relationship anyway. it seems like the straw that breaks the camel's back. i would appreciate thoughts. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 You tell your bf that he's being a JERK and to stop talking about his ex. Tell him how it makes you feel. This is why going into details about ex's cause problems. I have to ask, why did your male friend tell you this stuff in the first place? IS he trying to cause trouble between you and your bf? Anyway, ask your bf how HE would feel if you went on and on about how hot your ex was, and how great he was in bed, how he was the best lover ever. My guess is, your bf would feel insecure and be upset/pissed off hearing that stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author allthemagic Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 yes the friend in question is trying to break us up. secondly, my bf is my first so he knows I can't compare him. I told him he was the worst kissed I'd ever kissed but his reply was that it didn't matter to him. I just don't know if it's gone too far. I told him the first time it happened how it made me feel and he did it again, not to my face but I overheard the conversation. He's telling meknow he wants a family with me and I am feeling kinda gyped. like, so he's gets to spend all this time ****ing women who are soo awesome and in their prime but I ahve to miss out because i'm stuck with a man who's past his prime? I dont' know. my lack of experience is really biting me in the ass Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Can I ask how old you are? Be honest and upfront with you bf about this. IF he still acts like a jerk, then maybe he isn't the one for you. If you aren't ready to settle down, let alone with him, tell him that as well. Just because he's ready and been around the block afew times, doesn't mean you have to settle. You also might want to distance yourself from your male friend. He's acting jealous and is interferring in your life. Don't need that crap because this guy (male friend) doesn't have YOUR best interest at heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author allthemagic Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 i'm 22. if my spelling and composition is off it's because i'm a little effed up on clonapan. I've distanced myself from the friend in question already. I just am not sure if we can ever have a healthy sexual relationship because I know it will be always be going through my mind what he's said and that makes me so uncomfortable that the sex just gets worse because I don't feel adventurous or wild or passionate. for instance and this may be a little TMI, but when we first were dating, I loved giving him oral sex. LOVED. and secretely hoped that he would brag about how awesome I was that I did that all the time. and now I'm disinterested in doing that because I feel apathetic about the whole situation. I have no sexual appetite. it's a vicious cycle because that's what made his ex the best, how turned on she got. now he just braggs about her, not to my face, but to other friends that I hear about and that I overhear Link to post Share on other sites
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