CalebD Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Advice Needed: So I broke up with my first serious girlfriend about eight years ago, and really, everyone else I have dated since then I couldn't really connect with. She was always in the back of my mind. She always has been. I went to her father's eatery the other day to pick up some food for a dinner party that I was invited to and she was there working behind the counter. My heart about nearly exploded, but yet I played it cool. I didn't know how to react. Now, I am faced with the question...what do I do? I still lover her. I always have, but how do I let her know, without coming off as a creep? I have always regretted breaking things off with her those many years ago and now I want to see if we could possibly find that connection that was present in my earlier life. I find it almost as a sign of fate because I moved to a town about 50 miles away for a teaching job and now she lives in the same town. I just don't know how to tell her how I feel without sounding like a stalker. Thank you in advance, Caleb Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Welcome How old were you each when you broke up and why did you break up with her? What was her reaction to you when she saw you? Have you been out of contact since you broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalebD Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 She was 18, I was 17. She is now 25, and I am 24. I broke up with her because she smoked and drank. I was a pretty controlling person at the time, but I think it had a lot to do with my own family influence. She seemed to be pretty happy to see me and told me to stop in anytime, but that could have just been a friendly gesture. We have been out of contact for all of these years, so perhaps my perception of her is just a false sense that I had from those 8 years ago. I really guess there isn't much to do besides ask her out for a cup of coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Are smoking and drinking still deal-breakers for you? What about you was controlling? I'm fishing for compatibility here. You can love someone, and even be in love with them, and still be incompatible. If that's the case, and you don't recognize the reality of it, you'll end up in a rubber band relationship, constantly getting together and breaking up, over many years. If you want to examine the possibilities, go slow and don't engage your emotions. She's a real person and far from perfect. So are you. You both are likely very different than you were at 18 and 17. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Just ask her out for coffee or lunch or something! Nothing wrong with that. Do it! Although I'd try to find out first if she's dating anyone... Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Hark! What is this? The one who broke up with the other... is thinking of coming back? 8 years later?! Boy... NC does do wonders... I was actually feeling a little giddy for you when you described that rush you felt when you saw her behind the counter. The coffee idea sounds lovely. Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Go for the coffee. There's nothing stalker-ish about 2 people reuniting and catching up. But don't tell her what your feeling unless it feels right. Matter of fact, 8 years is a long time, time enough for people to change a lot. It's almost like you'd have to get to know each other all over again. I only say that because my old fiance from age 18 and I, got back together a few years later. At 1st we were stoked; but it hit us like a ton of bricks, that it really wasn't there anymore. We wanted it to be...but it wasn't. Just be prepared for disappointment, just in case, that's all. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 You're sweet. It's nice to see a guy who's in love. I would take it one step further. Ask her out on a date! No need to fess up your feelings at this point until you've had a chance to get to know each other again. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalebD Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 Here is a song I've been working on for about 4 months (it's been finished for two, but I just recorded it). I wrote it about that girl. Sorry the sound quality isn't super...I just recorded it on a cheap microphone on my computer. Also, apologies for dial up users, it is a large file.... Here is the link... [COLOR=#3b5998]http://www.4shared.com/file/59443388/34623e99/Pieces_of_Memories.html[/COLOR] If I wasn't a stalkerish creeper before, this takes the cake Link to post Share on other sites
Habibti Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 I think this is pretty normal. Not so much stalkerish. 8 years has passed and you've both grown up and moved on with your lives, now you've re connected and surprise surprise there's still a connection (at least on your end). If the bridge isn't burnt, I thnk there's always room to find it back to eachother later on down the road. This is exciting! Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Here is a song I've been working on for about 4 months (it's been finished for two, but I just recorded it). I wrote it about that girl. Sorry the sound quality isn't super...I just recorded it on a cheap microphone on my computer. Also, apologies for dial up users, it is a large file.... Here is the link... [COLOR=#3b5998]http://www.4shared.com/file/59443388/34623e99/Pieces_of_Memories.html[/COLOR] If I wasn't a stalkerish creeper before, this takes the cake hi i think you should just pop in and chat with her.. then ask her for coffee but as another poster said.. "it may not be there anymore" but if you dont ask you wont know;) can you put the lyrics up as i cannot hear anything on my computer./ no speakers.. thanks x and i hope it goes well:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalebD Posted August 22, 2008 Author Share Posted August 22, 2008 Lyrics to Pieces of Memories: Forget about the sun, forget about the moon. All I need is a memory of you. Tight Jeans and a Tight shirt. Ready for love, but not ready for the hurt And all I know is when we are we, I forget about the world and all I can think about is...you...and me... And there aint nothing that I wouldn't do to be with you And I'd give give up everything to see it through It's these pieces of memories....that lead me home It's my heart that guides me...so I'm not alone It's always the same, I'm always to blame, For things I've done, or mistakes that I've made. I see you there reading a book, while I'm disecting each glance and every look. It's so sad, but I can't keep fooling myself. Probably never had a chance, so I better put my heart back on the shelf. And there aint nothing that I wouldn't do to be with you And I'd give give up everything to see it through It's these pieces of memories....that lead me home It's my heart that guides me...so I'm not alone. In time you will see...that I was the one for you, And you were the one for me.... It's this road I'm on...it's so long... but it brings me back to you. And there aint nothing that I wouldn't do to be with you And I'd give give up everything to see it through It's these pieces of memories....that lead me home It's my heart that guides me...so I'm not alone Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 thank you thats so lovely:) seeing my ex tonight.. wish me luck.. your lyrics struck a cord with me;) Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalebD Posted August 31, 2008 Author Share Posted August 31, 2008 Well I guess reality just set in. Called her to see if I could buy her a drink after work and she shot me down. Apparently, she has a boyfriend. At least I feel better knowing that it wouldn't work for her. Thanks for all your advice, Caleb Link to post Share on other sites
nowhereman82 Posted August 31, 2008 Share Posted August 31, 2008 Thanks for the update. Glad you at least tried. Not knowing is sometimes the worst. Link to post Share on other sites
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