Early signs of girls you should stay away from!?

[GrnEyedGemini]

BTW lazlow99.....don't be a jerk. No matter what anyone tells you, women do not like jerks. Maybe little immature girls....but not women.

 

Having confidence is completely different from being a jerk.

 

Do not change yourself to conform to what other people say you should just to snag a girlfriend for a while.

 

If you really want a worth while relationship, be yourself completely. Because eventually, that self WILL come out; why not just start out being yourself that way it won't be like baiting and switching...we do pick up on that.

 

My bf had the similar problem before me. He said he always got the suddenly NC or the "Your a nice guy, but..." speech. It never worked out with those other girls, not because he was a nice guy, but because they didn't have the real chemistry or connection needed for a deep, strong relationship he was looking for.

 

Like I said, from the first time our eyes locked, there was intense chemistry. He was a nice guy in the beginning and he is a nice guy right now. I can say that he has been the same person basic person the whole time I have known him. I mean people change, but the basic character of that person remains. That is your true self...that is what you need to stick to..and eventually, when that chemistry happens, that woman will love the fact that you are a nice guy...and like you for who you are. Not for someone you conformed to just to snag a gf.

[nunyanunya]

Oh yea, and PS. Women make no sense. And if they did, the game wouldn't be interesting. Would you keep playing poker if you knew when to bet it all and when to fold all the time? Would you appreciate the winnings at all? The point I think is to keep playing, and you'll find that one special person. Because without the shade, how can you appreciate depth?

[nopainnogain]

. Would you keep playing poker if you knew when to bet it all and when to fold all the time? ?

 

Uh ,yeah

 

 

Would you appreciate the winnings at all ?

 

 

Does pinnochio have wooden balls:confused:

[heartoutside]

@ lazlow. She couldn't really ask your friend, "hey, could you tell him to text me because i lied to him and i want to apologize." Its one of those white lies to get your friend to initiate dialogue with you about it, and if he repeated what she said verbatim to you, the message shes sending is, I feel bad and I want to make it better. Whether or not you do that is up to you. anywho....

 

The prevailing advice for us empathic, devoted guys is this. Girls our age aren't usually interested in what we have to offer, or at least, they aren't as interested in those things as they are in just having fun. I'm not calling girls players. I'm saying that girls are looking for guys like us, they just don't know it yet. That doesn't mean that the onus is all on them. Guys like us need to learn to focus some of that devotion and energy and effort on ourselves, and unfortunately it usually takes the kind of trauma of a stiff heartache a few times to get us to that point. That is part of maturing. I take it you're not the kind of guy that can go into a bar and pick up chicks? Neither am I, and trust me, that's not a bad thing. Dont beat yourself up much, because know that what you're going through right now is teaching you how to appreciate yourself, and its been said over and over and over, and Im still learning this myself, but confidence and self respect play a big part in the attraction equation. And you get confidence from learning how to love yourself and be yourself and be ok with that. So keep your chin up. Get up when you trip, dust yourself off, and when you're ready, keep going, and remember that you're important too, relationship or no.

 

This couldn't be more true....and what GrnEyedGemini says as well. You should never have to sacrifice yourself and your own person for someone else. For one, you'll find a better girl if you can be yourself. A girl who likes you for who you are and respects that, and two, it will also show that you have the confidence in yourself not to care what others think.

 

I've had 3 major break ups in my life, and this last was probably the biggest boat rocker of them all and I'm somewhat thankful for it. Everyone says I've become a better person since the break up. In past break ups, I just let the break up take me down, and down and never looked back on what I learned from the whole situation. But now, (and I guess this is just something that come with age maybe?!) I'm seeing the whole picture and not focusing on just part of it.

 

So you can't dwell on the whys and the questions, if you do, you'll just go insane. When the girl I was seeing basically told me one thing one night and then 2 days later pulled a 180 on me, all I could do was laugh. That was my initial reaction, why? Because it's totally insane and funny that I could have ever wanted to be involved with someone with such lack of respect. I'm still laughing and I know in a few months she'll be kick'n herself for pulling this kind of crap. And I'll be thankful that I never got involved with a girl so insecure in herself that she had to pull such bull.

 

All you can do is take it for what it's worth and know that you did nothing wrong if you were being yourself.

[ddnnee]

got the same thing happening to me right now! i am friends with this girl for 5 months already. we live together actually... now she avoids me and i just found out three days ago that she is seeing her exboyfriend's friends. they went out for lunch, dinner, secretly meeting up here and there... kinda hurts that she is doing that, but seeing how you guys experienced crap like this makes me feel like this situation is common enough and i shouldn't think anything of it.

[GrnEyedGemini]

got the same thing happening to me right now! i am friends with this girl for 5 months already. we live together actually... now she avoids me and i just found out three days ago that she is seeing her exboyfriend's friends. they went out for lunch, dinner, secretly meeting up here and there... kinda hurts that she is doing that, but seeing how you guys experienced crap like this makes me feel like this situation is common enough and i shouldn't think anything of it.

 

 

From what you described...I think its a lil different than the OP's problem.

 

You are actually living with her. Thats enough to be considered a serious relationship. The fact that she is secretive about that stuff is not good and is not something you should over look.

 

In a good, healthy relationship....things like that should not be kept secret.

 

I think you should ask her about what she is doing. Ask her to explain her actions. And her thinking. And her reasons. Maybe she feels ya'll moved too fast and realizes this isn't what she wants.

IDK..You just gotta talk to her. Communication is key.

[Woggle]

Most women are just screwed up and it really does not pay to be a decent man that treats women well. Players have it the best because they mess around with a woman and when she starts acting up they dump her and move on to the next one. I wish I was like that.

[GrnEyedGemini]

Most women are just screwed up and it really does not pay to be a decent man that treats women well. Players have it the best because they mess around with a woman and when she starts acting up they dump her and move on to the next one. I wish I was like that.

 

 

Woggle...that is a horrible thing to say.

 

Thats like if I were to say most men are inconsiderate, egotistical, sexist a55holes so its ok for us women to use them for their money then leave when it all dries up.

 

Men are just as screwed up as women. Actually, from my entire life experience, everyone is screwed up. Just others have more grace and class to behave as decent human beings in the face of trials instead of using every bad thing that has happened to them as an excuse to behave horribly.

[Woggle]

Woggle...that is a horrible thing to say.

 

Thats like if I were to say most men are inconsiderate, egotistical, sexist a55holes so its ok for us women to use them for their money then leave when it all dries up.

 

Men are just as screwed up as women. Actually, from my entire life experience, everyone is screwed up. Just others have more grace and class to behave as decent human beings in the face of trials instead of using every bad thing that has happened to them as an excuse to behave horribly.

 

It is not horrible because men get no rewards whatsoever from being the nice guy that treats women well. They will get dumped for some jerk nearly every time and the women in their life will always feel like she has settled and will love him like a brother. This is the reality for a man that treats women well while a player has women throwing themselves at him. A man should take the course that provides the most rewards and reality has shown us the clear choice on that matter.

[GrnEyedGemini]

It is not horrible because men get no rewards whatsoever from being the nice guy that treats women well. They will get dumped for some jerk nearly every time and the women in their life will always feel like she has settled and will love him like a brother. This is the reality for a man that treats women well while a player has women throwing themselves at him. A man should take the course that provides the most rewards and reality has shown us the clear choice on that matter.

 

 

Wow...you sound pretty bitter. I'm guessing the woman you were good to screwed you pretty bad? That sucks, and I totally understand. Yes...there are horrible women out there, but the point I was making is that it is not only women that partake in that behavior. Every guy I dated, up to my current bf, was a horrible person. But I'm not jaded...I know that it takes all kinds. Thats why it is so special when you do finally find that person that will treat you right; you know how bad it really can be, so you appreciate what you have all the more.

 

I don't think taking a path of only selfish endeavors will ever lead anyone to true happiness.

 

I'm not insulting you, so please don't take it that way. But, if my suspicions are correct, your past hurt is twisting your point of view. Which...nothing is wrong with that as long as you let yourself heal and move on. Nothing good comes out of hurting someone else just because you've been hurt in the past.

[dazed.1]

to be a bit arrogant, learn to tease them but not too harshly. At the same time, be nice as well, so they'll never really know what to make of your constant shifts in behavior.

 

Ah yes, trick them, that is the key!

[Woggle]

Wow...you sound pretty bitter. I'm guessing the woman you were good to screwed you pretty bad? That sucks, and I totally understand. Yes...there are horrible women out there, but the point I was making is that it is not only women that partake in that behavior. Every guy I dated, up to my current bf, was a horrible person. But I'm not jaded...I know that it takes all kinds. Thats why it is so special when you do finally find that person that will treat you right; you know how bad it really can be, so you appreciate what you have all the more.

 

I don't think taking a path of only selfish endeavors will ever lead anyone to true happiness.

 

I'm not insulting you, so please don't take it that way. But, if my suspicions are correct, your past hurt is twisting your point of view. Which...nothing is wrong with that as long as you let yourself heal and move on. Nothing good comes out of hurting someone else just because you've been hurt in the past.

 

I actually have a great woman in my life but I know that finding her was the relationship equivelent of hitting the mega millions lottery. Most men will not be this lucky and they need to look out for their own interests until they find a woman who is worthy of their effort.

[ddnnee]

From what you described...I think its a lil different than the OP's problem.

 

You are actually living with her. Thats enough to be considered a serious relationship. The fact that she is secretive about that stuff is not good and is not something you should over look.

 

In a good, healthy relationship....things like that should not be kept secret.

 

I think you should ask her about what she is doing. Ask her to explain her actions. And her thinking. And her reasons. Maybe she feels ya'll moved too fast and realizes this isn't what she wants.

IDK..You just gotta talk to her. Communication is key.

 

yea we communicated... she told me exactly what most girls think. it went along something like this:

 

i am not interested in you because you know everything about me and i know a lot about you. i want to experience and enjoy the dating game. i love the mystery in finding out about the other person. i want to date and have fun. i like it when others know nothing about me and have to spend time finding out about me. its just exciting! you know?

 

yea, i am not lying nor kidding. she told me this. i just told her okay... you will get hurt when those guys play you. girls are so messed up... its like they got an inborn mental illness laced deep into their genetic makeup. in otherwords, she tells me she likes instability, risks, and DANGER.

[FleshNBones]

It is not horrible because men get no rewards whatsoever from being the nice guy that treats women well. They will get dumped for some jerk nearly every time and the women in their life will always feel like she has settled and will love him like a brother. This is the reality for a man that treats women well while a player has women throwing themselves at him. A man should take the course that provides the most rewards and reality has shown us the clear choice on that matter.

Either that or she will hang around long enough for her fortunes to improve. If she loses the extra weight or gets a hold of your bank account information, she will clear out because the two of you grew appart.

My favorite would have to be the black baby surprise. He is yours... Really?

 

The dating scene is really giant shark tank.

[FleshNBones]

yea, i am not lying nor kidding. she told me this. i just told her okay... you will get hurt when those guys play you. girls are so messed up... its like they got an inborn mental illness laced deep into their genetic makeup. in otherwords, she tells me she likes instability, risks, and DANGER.

Ask her if she likes poverty and homelessness.

[ddnnee]

hmmm that explains why there are so many single mothers in poverty... they all cannot settle down and eventually get booted.

[D-Lish]

Well to me, they just sound like your typical attractive girl: indecisive, insecure, and easily bored.

 

Unfortunately for you, your the type of person every girl says they want, but not necessarily at the age they are. You're too nice, too polite, and at your age: too boring. You're predictable, and that's why these girls lose interest in you fast. They pursued you, and once they had you, they found out that you're no different than the other nice guys that they've met in their lives.

 

If you don't want to make the same mistake again, just don't be so willing and docile. Learn to be a bit rude, to be a bit arrogant, learn to tease them but not too harshly. At the same time, be nice as well, so they'll never really know what to make of your constant shifts in behavior. Girls like jerks because they don't know what to expect, but they also love a sweetheart at times to appreciate them for who they are. Having too much of one or the other leads to boredom or tiredness of dealing with it. Learn to balance your good and bad sides and you'll be a lot more successful and happy with your future potentials.

 

Maybe 20 year old girls do... but as people mature- priorities and needs shift and stabilize (for most of us anyway).

 

I find young guys act in the same flakey way.

 

You're young, figuring out the world... trying on new things, enjoying the attention....then you find your way and purpose in life and that kind of behaviour gets boring.

 

I think it's a natural rite of passage to enjoy youth and attention and play the field. You should be doing this too!

 

Hot, smart, interesting girls will eat up all the attention they can in the years following puberty. A super hot 20 year old girl isn't going to limit herself to one guy- she'll flake all over the place- because she can...and guys teach her she can.

 

You should be doing the same thing- figuring out life, enjoying playing the field.... and not being concerned about being tied down.

 

She's young, she's hot- she's being told and shown this every day... of course that will stimulate and encourage flakey behaviour. Don't try and nail girls like this down because they aren't ready.

 

Instead of trying to nail them down- just have fun nailing them. It's your rite of passage after all...

[Woggle]

Either that or she will hang around long enough for her fortunes to improve. If she loses the extra weight or gets a hold of your bank account information, she will clear out because the two of you grew appart.

My favorite would have to be the black baby surprise. He is yours... Really?

 

The dating scene is really giant shark tank.

 

This is why any man that doesn't get a prenup is a damn fool. No woman is getting her hands on what I worked for.

[ddnnee]

This is why any man that doesn't get a prenup is a damn fool. No woman is getting her hands on what I worked for.

 

prenups do not work in california... and in many states, prenups automatically void in 5 years if you and her live together. the state considers it a "marriage".

[Woggle]

prenups do not work in california... and in many states, prenups automatically void in 5 years if you and her live together. the state considers it a "marriage".

 

As far as I know they do work in California plus we have our accounts sperate and she is financially independent so I don't have too much to worry about.

[D-Lish]

This is why any man that doesn't get a prenup is a damn fool. No woman is getting her hands on what I worked for.

 

Guess what?

My ex husband got his hands on a percentage of my trust fund.... also got half the profits from the sale of the house that my parents bought for us.

 

Stop being so single minded about this stuff.

 

When I turn 42- I inherit a great chunk of cash from the sale of lands my granparents bought 50 years ago---- they are prime vineyard locations in the Niagara Region that my grandparents paid pennies for. Now- this region is premium grape growing soil for wine. I'm not close to getting that money- not old enough yet- but my ex husband still wants a piece of it..... even though we divorced 6 years ago. It's still in the courts....

[Woggle]

More and more women are getting by their exes which is something men have been going through for years and feminists told men to stop whining. Two wrongs don't make a right though and a person should not be forced to give up their income because a marriage didn't work out especially if it they did nothing wrong to ruin the marriage.

[Citizen Erased]

More and more women are getting by their exes which is something men have been going through for years and feminists told men to stop whining. Two wrongs don't make a right though and a person should not be forced to give up their income because a marriage didn't work out especially if it they did nothing wrong to ruin the marriage.

 

Am I the only one that just reads blah blah blah blah when this guy posts?

 

You've been spouting this crap for how long on here? No one gives a flying rats arse what you think Woggle.

[yongyong]

It's because they saw you as a challenge.

 

they pushed as far as they could to see how you could handle.

 

you txted back to them all the time? and maybe said the same thing back they said to you? like I miss u, thinking of u, things like that.

 

you should've gave them mixed signals.

 

you can complain that you got the wrong girl but the thing is every girl could be that way

(you treat them nice and become attached to them. they will dump you)

[GrnEyedGemini]

yea we communicated... she told me exactly what most girls think. it went along something like this:

 

i am not interested in you because you know everything about me and i know a lot about you. i want to experience and enjoy the dating game. i love the mystery in finding out about the other person. i want to date and have fun. i like it when others know nothing about me and have to spend time finding out about me. its just exciting! you know?

 

yea, i am not lying nor kidding. she told me this. i just told her okay... you will get hurt when those guys play you. girls are so messed up... its like they got an inborn mental illness laced deep into their genetic makeup. in otherwords, she tells me she likes instability, risks, and DANGER.

 

 

I don't think she's messed up. I think she is just like what I told the other guy...young, inexperienced, and indecisive. Yeah...that is something you gotta deal with when dating younger people...not just women. Its not that she likes instability, risks, and danger...it is that she wants to experience more of this life before being tied down for any amount of time. She is not messed up. You can't expect her to settle down if she isn't ready. There are PLENTY of guys like this well up into their 30's so its not really that uncommon.

 

If she gets hurt, thats part of the game. Yeah, she might take risks, but that really is what dating is all about...taking a risk with someone else. I don't think bashing her for being a young girl not taking life too serious is the right way to approach this. You said you knew this girl for 5 months and were already living with her...apparently you like risk as well to move in with someone you know so little about.

 

Cut your loses and move on. This is what the world of dating is. You can't get hung up on every one that moves in and out of your life, otherwise, you never learn anything. Or you end up a miserable, spiteful man who hates women. And what good woman wants that?