Oh No Not Again Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 So I had a date last week that went pretty well. We made plans to hang out again this week, which would've been today, but a few days ago I made some *bad* joke, about how instead of going out she can just come over and sleep at my place. It wasn't supposed to be funny.. I was just being sarcastic because she kept saying she's feeling antisocial. So apparently she must of got offended and thinks I'm a creep. I thought she was kidding, but the way she wrote it I was like, wth.. is she serious?? So I wrote her back saying it was a joke, I didn't mean it like that.. Then today, we were supposed to go out so I txtd her are we still on for today? And the reply is just "no" What bothers me is we knew each other for about a year now, and things were going okay except this one little incident. I never was a jerk or anything. It's like, I can understand if I picked her up out of a bar last night and this happened. But this was different, so to have her just lose interest over this.. But at the same time I feel like maybe I just came across as only wanting her for that. Like, maybe she misinterpreted it as me joking to get her in bed, which would be a completely immature, classless thing to do, and because she's soooooo mature and classy herself (sarcasm), makes me not worthy. I don't know? But, I do feel a bit of 'damn, I shouldn't have said that' because, well I know it's these little things girls pay attention to.. But was it really THAT bad? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Man, they'll turn on you like grease through a goose. You'll never know when it's coming. A behavior which cracks them up yesterday gets you the third rail today. Get used to it. Next time, don't apologize or explain. If she's cold to you, let her eat silence. Find a girl you can know for a year, enjoy, and who wants to sleep over Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 It really depends on the circumstances and the relationship itself. It doesn't seem like she should've reacted that harshly to what you said but I will warn you that a comment like that is rarely going to be taken as a joke. A woman will always think there's an underlying truth to anything you say. Still, if a guy said it to me and I felt it was inappropriate for whatever reason, I would just let him know that. If I were you, I'd ask her directly what she's mad about. If she says it's because of the comment you made, then just say something like, "Oh, I shouldn't have made a joke like that. I'm sorry to have offended you," and leave it at that. If she is major-league uptight, she probably won't say anything, but if she realizes she made a mistake and over-reacted, then she'll be forgiving. If you apologize too much or explain yourself, you'll just come across as someone who's just trying to make excuses or cover up for something you really meant to say. Once you know for sure what has pissed her off and you apologize for that, she should be the one to let you know it's ok. If she doesn't, she's probably too high maintenance anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Don't waste your time with this uptight chick. Find someone with just a tiny sense of humour that won't crack it at a joke. Link to post Share on other sites
Prodigal Princess Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Don't waste your time with this uptight chick. Find someone with just a tiny sense of humour that won't crack it at a joke. Agreed! I also tend to think that she used your faux pas as an excuse to end things early. Having known her for a year already, she could have friend-zoned you, and wasnt that keen to begin with. I must admit I have used silly excuses such as this one to ditch guys I'm not into. So I say stop thinking about it, it clearly wasn't going to work anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Personally, I wouldn't be offended by your joke, I wouldn't have even thought twice about it. I'd see it as flirting- which is cool in my books. You mentioned she was saying she felt anti-social- that in itself probably indicates she was looking to blow off the date anyway. She used your joke as an excuse to walk away. I wouldn't waste time with her or even try to explain... you did nothing wrong. She's either super uptight or was needing an excuse. My advice is to give her the cold shoulder right back. Maybe it's a case of PMS or PMDD...lol, and she'll shake it off like some of us jeckyll and hydes do within a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oh No Not Again Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 Thanks everyone, makes me feel a little better now. Dlish that's cause you're awesome. I'm cringing that she couldn't just laugh at it. I been second-guessing myself this whole time wondering if what I said was really creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
Prodigal Princess Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Thanks everyone, makes me feel a little better now. Dlish that's cause you're awesome. I'm cringing that she couldn't just laugh at it. I been second-guessing myself this whole time wondering if what I said was really creepy. I personally loved your joke - if a guy I liked wrote that to me I would think it was cute and sexy. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I personally loved your joke - if a guy I liked wrote that to me I would think it was cute and sexy. Well, there could be circumstances where it wouldn't be appropriate - it just depends. But in most cases, yeah, it would be seen as fun and flirty. I do think she either blew it out of proportion or there's something else that she's pissed off about. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Yeah, like she was pissed at her boyfriend (oops) and took it out on good guy with a flirty sense of humor, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Unless she's upset at you for something else...I say, forget this one. She obviously doesn't know how to take a joke. Plus, it wasn't that bad! You were semi-flirting. She's far too uptight. Just imagine how much worse it'll get. You'll be spending all your time apologizing for inconsequential stuff. Bullet dodged. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Yeah, like she was pissed at her boyfriend (oops) and took it out on good guy with a flirty sense of humor, right? Could be the boyfriend, or that married guy....or her boss, or the married boss bf. Heck, you never know who set her off. Well, seriously, I think I'd ask why she has a cork up her hiney. Then you'll know for sure what the deal is. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 My money's on the married boss BF. That was really a minor crudity which set her off Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Thanks everyone, makes me feel a little better now. Dlish that's cause you're awesome. I'm cringing that she couldn't just laugh at it. I been second-guessing myself this whole time wondering if what I said was really creepy. Oh pleeeeze- that in no way indicates creepy. Guys think in a little more sexual terms than women- most in tune women recognize that and "get it". I would have found your flirtation as a compliment- it's like "phew, okay, this guy thinks I am attractive...that makes me feel good". Don't cringe that she couldn't laugh at it. The fact that she couldn't laugh at it sort of indicates that you guys are obviously not compatible. I laugh things like that off all the time. Although, I am sure if she said "okay- I'm coming over" you would have been okay with that too. lol. I like to know if a guy is attracted to me. I don't like it if someone gets sexually explicit out of the gate, but your comment was far from that. Sounds like she was being "anti social" (b****y) and you were trying to lift her spirits with your joke. Move on to someone who has a better sense of humour. Now... if you were masturbating while you asked and went on to asking what she was wearing and what her fav position was... that might be creepy. lol. Your comment was lighthearted and tame- it's her issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 OP, I really hope you ask her why she responded the way she has. And if she tells you that the source of her sudden curtness is cause of the joke...then cut her loose...! But before you do, make sure to tell her that she overreacted. Don't let her think that her taking offence to what you said was cool. She was being a little wuss... Tell her it was unattractive and you changed your mind! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 OP, do you mind if I ask how old the two of you are? Is it possible she's a virgin? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oh No Not Again Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 OP, do you mind if I ask how old the two of you are? Is it possible she's a virgin? I highly doubt that, we're pretty old Late 20's.. Yeah I think you guys are right she's just way too uptight and can't take a joke. But I still feel really .. bleeehhhh.. over it, cause of the way she responded. It wasn't like she was "mad" about it.. but more like, I mean she called me creepy for cying out loud. I knew she was half-joking, but she doesn't put any or lols to let me know, so I don't know.. couldn't tell if she was serious or not. So that's why I txt'ed her today, cause I thought if I just asked her are we still on for today, she'd be like.. sure what time? You know, having forgotten about it. But all she puts is "no" .. I HATE THAT!!! It's like so immature to "get back" at someone by silent treatment. We're supposed to be adults here. If my 'joke' was childish, it was unintentionally childish with no ill intent. I feel like I'm 17 again Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I highly doubt that, we're pretty old Late 20's.. Yeah I think you guys are right she's just way too uptight and can't take a joke. But I still feel really .. bleeehhhh.. over it, cause of the way she responded. It wasn't like she was "mad" about it.. but more like, I mean she called me creepy for cying out loud. I knew she was half-joking, but she doesn't put any or lols to let me know, so I don't know.. couldn't tell if she was serious or not. So that's why I txt'ed her today, cause I thought if I just asked her are we still on for today, she'd be like.. sure what time? You know, having forgotten about it. But all she puts is "no" .. I HATE THAT!!! It's like so immature to "get back" at someone by silent treatment. We're supposed to be adults here. If my 'joke' was childish, it was unintentionally childish with no ill intent. I feel like I'm 17 again Sensitive people like that are a waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I highly doubt that, we're pretty old Late 20's.. Yeah I think you guys are right she's just way too uptight and can't take a joke. But I still feel really .. bleeehhhh.. over it, cause of the way she responded. It wasn't like she was "mad" about it.. but more like, I mean she called me creepy for cying out loud. I knew she was half-joking, but she doesn't put any or lols to let me know, so I don't know.. couldn't tell if she was serious or not. So that's why I txt'ed her today, cause I thought if I just asked her are we still on for today, she'd be like.. sure what time? You know, having forgotten about it. But all she puts is "no" .. I HATE THAT!!! It's like so immature to "get back" at someone by silent treatment. We're supposed to be adults here. If my 'joke' was childish, it was unintentionally childish with no ill intent. I feel like I'm 17 again Well, I did wonder if she was very young but from the sounds of it, not. If she's no young, inexperienced virgin then it was an over-reaction to your sarcasm. By the time most women hit their late twenties, they're going to have heard a lot worse than that and have learned to handle it accordingly, most often laugh it off or at minimum, called you out on the spot, reliant on delivery of comments. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I highly doubt that, we're pretty old Late 20's.. Yeah I think you guys are right she's just way too uptight and can't take a joke. But I still feel really .. bleeehhhh.. over it, cause of the way she responded. It wasn't like she was "mad" about it.. but more like, I mean she called me creepy for cying out loud. I knew she was half-joking, but she doesn't put any or lols to let me know, so I don't know.. couldn't tell if she was serious or not. So that's why I txt'ed her today, cause I thought if I just asked her are we still on for today, she'd be like.. sure what time? You know, having forgotten about it. But all she puts is "no" .. I HATE THAT!!! It's like so immature to "get back" at someone by silent treatment. We're supposed to be adults here. If my 'joke' was childish, it was unintentionally childish with no ill intent. I feel like I'm 17 again She actually called you creepy for saying that? And you're sure what you posted here are your exact words to her?? If that's the case, not only is she a waste of time- she's a B***h. Never contact her again! She's made you feel bad for no reason other than that she was looking for a way out. I'd be so upset if someone called me creepy.... I doubt she considered the impact of her words- she was merely avoiding another date and spewed that venom to drive the point home. She should have been upfront- and instead of saying "I am feeling anti-social", she should have been honest and said- "hey, you're great but I don't think we're compatible". That is what I believe happened here. She didn't feel she wanted another date and said she felt "anti-social". You responded with a light joke and she pounced on it as a way out. She's not worth the cyber paper you are writing about her on. You're not creepy. Don't internalize that insult. Instead, recognize this is her issue. She can't be an adult and be honest- so she has turned the situation into blaming you. You're not to blame...incompatibility is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oh No Not Again Posted August 18, 2008 Author Share Posted August 18, 2008 She actually called you creepy for saying that? And you're sure what you posted here are your exact words to her?? If that's the case, not only is she a waste of time- she's a B***h. Thanks D- for real I feel a lot better. Yeah.. that's what got to me was her calling me creepy. Creepy is for dirty old men. I just felt kinda.. well I felt creepy. That's why I'm wasting digital paper on this. What I said was more like "hey we can do something else if you want.. we can just chill here and paint or hang out for a while. Or you can just sleep. My place is the best place to sleep.. it's nice and relaxing.." or something close to that. And she's been here before and we just hung out and it was totally cool. She knows I'm not some sick perv or nothing. We known each other.. to the point I thought I have some freedom to say things like that. But in essence, that's what I said. Then the next day, she resonded something short like "you're sick" or something, to which I responded "huh?".. to which she responded back, at first sounding cool about it, but ending it with, BUT that's what I thought was creepy about you.. asking me to come sleep at your house.. So that's when I replied back saying I was joking. Maybe I got a little too excited tho, like I actually called her "dude".. as in .."dude, I was joking!" but I had that tone to my response, which maybe just killed any possible romance in her mind. I don't know. Still, I thought she'd be cool about it. So when I txt'd her today, and all she wrote is "no", like totally rudely and made me feel like s**t.. I don't know. I just feel like s**t. Cause I actually was starting to like her. And this was building up over a month, after knowing her, what a year. She was the one who started talking to me more too, a few months ago. I thought she liked me. I didn't feel anything at first, but now I started to. And she does this to me. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Ah, well Dude (lol)... that was nasty of her. What you need to realize is that she's a weirdo. You didn't do anything wrong... She's projecting, she has the problem here, not you. It was a joke... and it was harmless. You didn't cause anyone to go off like this- she already had an issue. Let it go, and let her go. She made you the scapegoat- she's a maggot for doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Oh boy she sounds really uptight!! Link to post Share on other sites
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